Life’s better with friends #GratitudeCircle

Life’s better with friends #GratitudeCircle

The irony of life is that each time one makes a rule to handle it, it goes and does something (quite on purpose, I’m certain) to make that rule completely absolutely redundant. That’s its way of keeping us on our toes. A not very nice thing to do, but that’s how life is.

If you’re one of the few sweet wonderful people who have been dropping by my blog despite the minimal activity here, you will remember I mentioned that for some time I had been feeling friendless and lonely. Anyhow, so then I went ahead and decided I’d try to make my own happiness. And I did. I took myself to lunch, went for solitary walks, crafted a little bit, did some neat bit of colouring, read, had mini binges on Netflix (Gilmore Girls which, by the way, is a fabulous series) and I was quite happy.

The kids got this beautiful colouring book as a gift. They could not truly appreciate it since it had quotes from Alice in Wonderland which they haven’t read. So I appropriated it right away and have been having fun with it.

Just when I thought I was in a good space by myself, all manner of friends, delightful ones at that, began to show up in places I’d never imagined, as if to convince me that life really was better with friends.

As I was ending my walk one morning a couple in our complex carried me off for another round. I’d known them for a while but never really interacted much with them. I have no clue what made them overrule all my ‘nos’ and drag me along.

With them I discovered this huge tract of land, barely a five-minute drive away, and had the most delightful walk. I have to admit I enjoyed their company almost as much, maybe more. Only rarely do you meet a couple so positive, so happy, so mutually appreciative of each other. I felt blessed to have been included in their little circle with a standing invitation to join them any/every morning.

Then, I bumped into another acquaintance/friend and we got talking. As we ranted about life, specifically the kids and the education system, it turned out her daughter was facing the very same issues as mine. There really is nothing more comforting than meeting someone with the same stresses as yours and trying to figure your way out together. And so we fixed a coffee date which I’m looking forward to.

Oh and the biggest biggie of all – I went to my college reunion. That should ideally have been a whole post in itself but the writing slump I’ve been in, took that away from me. When first I heard of the meet I was quite certain I wouldn’t go. And then my sister who always begins with ‘Don’t go if you don’t want to but think about it’ and then proceeds to work on me in insidious ways, did just that. Before I knew it I found myself booked to my hometown. As usual my sister-in-law stepped in to take the children for four whole days. I maintain I struck gold when I married the Husband as much for him as for his family, maybe a tad more for his family considering he’s not around too often these days and his sister is there. Always. So there I was in Lucknow revisiting the campus, interacting with teachers but most of all spending time with old friends.

Time had chipped away at the cliques of our youth, mellowing differences, easing friendships, letting us laugh at shared memories. All in all I totally root for reunions.

I know this is turning out to be one long rambling post but I have to mention this last incident. Early last month my site was hacked. In complete panic I reached out to my service provider and to their credit they sorted me out in a jiffy but at a bit of a cost. Later I found out a lot of other bloggers had faced the same issue and unlike me they reached out to other blogger friends for help and managed it with much little stress and at a lower cost too.

Sigh!

It didn’t even occur to me to ask for help. I wonder why, in times of crisis, I only tend to draw up on all of my own reserves and can think of no one at all. That’s something I need to remember. In the words of JK Rowling:

Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.

Replace ‘Hogwarts’ with ‘life’ and I have my November lesson.

I’ll end with a great sense of gratitude for friends and acquaintances this November. Without them it would have been a dull dull month.

PS: Thank you all of you for helping me with N’s pen-paper Vs Tab decision. I’ve decided to stick with pen and paper for now and give her the tab during the holidays when she would probably/hopefully be doing more writing. She’s also writing in her journal so that’s something.

 

Linking up with Vidya’s Gratitude Circle.

18 Replies to “Life’s better with friends #GratitudeCircle”

  1. Reading this a bit late but I’m glad I did, Tulika. I’ve been making unexpected friends and meeting old ones too. They truly are a blessing.
    Have a wonderful 2019. Hugs.

    1. Thank you Corinne. No worries about being late, it’s good to see you here 🙂 specially because I’ve not really been regular here. Your presence makes me want to write more often.

  2. Yep! its nice when we can be happy and at peace by ourselves.. but its indeed fun when with friends 🙂 Glad for you OM ..

  3. Ah .. there have been similar moments, where I have felt lonely, and well yes friendless. Much as I used to sulk and dig my nose deep into books, Deep down, I craved for people around. SO I quite understand your feelings. Glad you bumped into the couple. Life sure has its own ways to teach you lessons right.

  4. Oh, I loved this post, Tulika! I’m going through a friendless and self doubt phase myself and it’s been affecting me negatively a lot lately. Yesterday, I went to my husband’s office party which restored my faith in me. I talked to people (his bosses and they are American) so easily and effortlessly. They even complimented my sense of humor. That was something. I always were intimidated by the thought of interacting with Americans, but yesterday’s experience brought me a new confidence. Good things happen when we give ourselves a chance, right?
    And I am happy to read that you found people of your kind. Friendship was so easy when we were kids, just a wanna play was enough. Now I don’t know how to approach others and make friends with them.
    I loved that life lesson you shared. Help is always here, we just have to ask. Take care of yourself. And please do write more. I love reading your honest posts. See you helped me smile with this post. ❤️
    Vinitha recently put up this amazing post…Losing to Self-doubt #MondayMusingsMy Profile

    1. Aww glad the post made you smile Vinitha. It’s true, what you said about friendships being easier when we were children. When we shifted to this home about a decade ago I taught the children to say ‘ Hi I’m H/N, can I play with you?’ And it was as easy as that! They would just start playing together. As a grown up it’s tough. Moreso in a case like yours when people around you are of a different Nationality. So happy you managed to mingle. Hope 2019 sees you getting out more and making more good friends.

  5. Big hugs and a huge smile as I read this post, Tulika 🙂 So very glad you’ve found a wonderful circle of friends to walk with. That makes a difference for sure, especially when you feel down and alone. And I second the thing about reunions. They make you feel wonderful right? Also, very glad to hear about the paper-and-pen decision. Believe me, N will thank you in the years to come 🙂 Stay blessed, happy and grateful. I’ve missed reading you but you’re also like my comfortable security blanket whom I turn to read when I feel overwhelmed, so even if it means you blog infrequently, please do blog. I will be here, reading you 🙂
    Shailaja recently put up this amazing post…How to be a Happy MomMy Profile

  6. Friendless and lonely is not a happy place to be. No matter how much we hear and speak about being good with solo and solitude, we still crave for union with happy, positive and like-minded people. I am delighted to know you found good company in the most unlikely situations. The universe does keep a watch over us. Wishing you a happy December.
    Anamika Agnihotri recently put up this amazing post…Where’s the Big Ben? #WordlessWednesday 21My Profile

  7. First of all, I am so glad you went on a solo date. Secondly, I am also glad you made new friends and discovered old ones! Friends are happiness. Period.
    Oh, and thank god, your blog issue was sorted. I must have been one terrifying experience! I was reading so much about it lately. And, at such times, I wonder if writing down my posts in my diary will be better than putting them up on the blog!

    1. Solo dates are great and I’m not giving up on them but having friends is just as wonderful.
      Yup the blog issue scared me. I love sharing and interacting along with writing so a diary would never work for me. I just have to keep better track of things.

  8. A big AWWWW after reading this post Tulika. Ask and you shall receive is such a universe thing no! I am so so glad you found peeps to spend time with; even better that you went on solo stuff – that my dear is a secret to a very happy life 😉

    Yay on the college reunion and rooting for your Sis in law as well – what a wonderful gesture! Very few people can be heard saying such stuff about the dreaded in laws 😉

    BTW this post wasnt rambling – you writing flows and that is always such a pleasure to read. Hoping to see more of your posts. Have a happiness overload december and binge out as this is the last month of the year :-)!
    Shalzmojo recently put up this amazing post…#MyMojo – Solo travel tips at Tijara Fort by Swati RaiMy Profile

  9. Precious life lessons there, Tulika. No matter what we say, we are social beings and love company. Happy to hear about the generous couple you met and really nice to have such an accommodating sil. Good to hear about the reunion too. Life’s blessings come in unexpected ways. Have a lovely December!

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