Category: friendship

If we were having coffee together – 7 #wordsmatter

If we were having coffee together – 7 #wordsmatter

The maid has just left. The house smells of Colin and Lizol – fresh, inviting. As I step out into the balcony, the sky is thick with clouds, the air redolent with the promise of rain. It’s a beautiful day and I feel ‘settled’ like I haven’t felt in a long time.

If you were here and we were having coffee together, I’d tell you I’d finally found peace in this new home of mine. Together we’d raise a cheer to that – you with your extra strong coffee and I with my ginger tea – each with our preferred ‘hot beverage’, as Sheldon would put it :-).

You’d smile at the Big Bang reference, relieved to see me well and truly out of the dumps just as I was happy to be out of them. I’d apologise for having been fretful and whiny over the last month but you’d brush that off with a wave of your hand. That’s what friends are for, aren’t they? you’d say and I’d agree wholeheartedly.

If we were having coffee together I’d tell you that life had definitely been looking up for me since we last got together. I’d tell you about this house which was slowly, surely turning into a home. It was only now that I was beginning to truly appreciate it.

I’d tell you about other friends who had dropped by in happy batches exclaiming over each new fixture, opening cupboards and peering inside with the ease of long friendship, suggesting reading nooks and writing corners. I’d tell you how they’d complimented my freshly arranged bookshelves, picking out books to borrow.

I’d wonder if perhaps it was their excitement that had endeared the home to me. Does this happen with you sometimes – that looking at something through someone else’s eyes changes your view of it? That a glum lonely space suddenly becomes warm and cosy? It echoes with the memory of love and laughter long after everyone has gone.

It is this memory that wraps itself around me like a comforting hug as I go about my day prompting me to open my heart and home to more friends. I stock up happy memories, collecting them like Shylock hoarded gold coins, chasing away the gloom of the past few months.

If we were having coffee together I’d tell you how I had been inhabiting the kitchen more often, finding pleasure in going back to some of my favourite recipes. I’d tell you of the time I’d delighted in laying out a full homemade ‘party’ meal despite my rather limited cooking skills.

Together we’d look outside my window and watch the rain that was now coming down in a gentle pitter-patter. We’d watch the sparrows sheltering in the trees and I’d point out my plants that were slowly coming back to life, sprouting new leaves, making a new beginning.

Just like me.

Things weren’t perfect, but then perfection is a mere dream, I’d muse. It isn’t, you’d correct me, it exists scattered in small moments like this one, you’d tell me and together we’d laugh at our philosophical ramblings as we drain our cups and head out to meet the rest of the day.

So tell me dear friend, how is life treating you? What would you share if we were having coffee together?

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I am participating in the #wordsmatter bloghop. I received this tag from Pooja Priyamvada who blogs at Second Thoughts First and I’m happy to pass on the tag to Rachna at Rachna SaysDo follow the #WordsMatter Blog Hop and prepare to be surprised!

If we were having coffee together – 6

If we were having coffee together – 6

“Reflections

 

I haven’t been feeling too chatty since I got back from the holidays and I thought a cup of coffee might help. Take a seat then as you read this, get your cup of coffee and I’ll get my chai.

If we were having coffee together I’d warn you right away that this was going to be a bit of a rant. I’d tell you how I was taking time to settle in here, in this new home of mine and missing, just a bit, the hustle and bustle of the old one. I’d tell you how I long to see familiar faces – of acquaintances in the lift, of children who I’d seen growing up, even of the guards who complained constantly about H and N.

I’d tell you that the feeling had nothing to do with this house which is large and airy and spacious – something I’d always wanted. Why then, I’d wonder, was I missing the time when the children were right in my face, annoying me with their constant chatter? Perhaps it was simply because I hadn’t yet made friends and the house reflected my loneliness?

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that the neighbours were cordial enough but finding friends was another matter altogether. I’d wonder if it had something to do with age. Did we lose the ability to make friends as we grew older, I’d ask. I used to make friends easily. From people years older to those a decade or more younger, I could connect with everyone. When the children were younger I’d take them out to play and bump into someone and before we knew it we were friends bonding over the troubles of toddlerhood, moving onto work, books and films. It doesn’t seem that easy any longer. When did I get picky?

If we were having coffee I’d ask if you wanted a refill because I wasn’t quite done yet. Together we’d ponder over this whole friendship conundrum. You’d perhaps tell me that I was still settling in and that all would be well once the school routine set in. I’d take heart from that because I’d see the wisdom in what you said; perhaps I was being hasty.

I’d tell you how grateful I was for the hundred small things that needed to be done to get the house up and running. They filled up my day and brought a measure of satisfaction as I went about emptying cartons and ticking things off my list. I’d tell you of other things I was grateful for, of the many small blessings that have made the move easier. I’d tell what a huge comfort the kids had been through the shifting. You’d smile and remind me that H and N were no longer ‘kids’, a few days from their teens. And that would cheer me up for I have a special surprise planned for them.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you how your presence, though virtual, made me feel happier, lighter and that I was glad I had you around to unburden myself, as always.

What would you tell me if we were having coffee together?

Picture Credit: Pexels

 

Linking up with #ABloggingGoodTime.

“Reflections
Life’s better with friends #GratitudeCircle

Life’s better with friends #GratitudeCircle

The irony of life is that each time one makes a rule to handle it, it goes and does something (quite on purpose, I’m certain) to make that rule completely absolutely redundant. That’s its way of keeping us on our toes. A not very nice thing to do, but that’s how life is.

If you’re one of the few sweet wonderful people who have been dropping by my blog despite the minimal activity here, you will remember I mentioned that for some time I had been feeling friendless and lonely. Anyhow, so then I went ahead and decided I’d try to make my own happiness. And I did. I took myself to lunch, went for solitary walks, crafted a little bit, did some neat bit of colouring, read, had mini binges on Netflix (Gilmore Girls which, by the way, is a fabulous series) and I was quite happy.

The kids got this beautiful colouring book as a gift. They could not truly appreciate it since it had quotes from Alice in Wonderland which they haven’t read. So I appropriated it right away and have been having fun with it.

Just when I thought I was in a good space by myself, all manner of friends, delightful ones at that, began to show up in places I’d never imagined, as if to convince me that life really was better with friends.

As I was ending my walk one morning a couple in our complex carried me off for another round. I’d known them for a while but never really interacted much with them. I have no clue what made them overrule all my ‘nos’ and drag me along.

With them I discovered this huge tract of land, barely a five-minute drive away, and had the most delightful walk. I have to admit I enjoyed their company almost as much, maybe more. Only rarely do you meet a couple so positive, so happy, so mutually appreciative of each other. I felt blessed to have been included in their little circle with a standing invitation to join them any/every morning.

Then, I bumped into another acquaintance/friend and we got talking. As we ranted about life, specifically the kids and the education system, it turned out her daughter was facing the very same issues as mine. There really is nothing more comforting than meeting someone with the same stresses as yours and trying to figure your way out together. And so we fixed a coffee date which I’m looking forward to.

Oh and the biggest biggie of all – I went to my college reunion. That should ideally have been a whole post in itself but the writing slump I’ve been in, took that away from me. When first I heard of the meet I was quite certain I wouldn’t go. And then my sister who always begins with ‘Don’t go if you don’t want to but think about it’ and then proceeds to work on me in insidious ways, did just that. Before I knew it I found myself booked to my hometown. As usual my sister-in-law stepped in to take the children for four whole days. I maintain I struck gold when I married the Husband as much for him as for his family, maybe a tad more for his family considering he’s not around too often these days and his sister is there. Always. So there I was in Lucknow revisiting the campus, interacting with teachers but most of all spending time with old friends.

Time had chipped away at the cliques of our youth, mellowing differences, easing friendships, letting us laugh at shared memories. All in all I totally root for reunions.

I know this is turning out to be one long rambling post but I have to mention this last incident. Early last month my site was hacked. In complete panic I reached out to my service provider and to their credit they sorted me out in a jiffy but at a bit of a cost. Later I found out a lot of other bloggers had faced the same issue and unlike me they reached out to other blogger friends for help and managed it with much little stress and at a lower cost too.

Sigh!

It didn’t even occur to me to ask for help. I wonder why, in times of crisis, I only tend to draw up on all of my own reserves and can think of no one at all. That’s something I need to remember. In the words of JK Rowling:

Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.

Replace ‘Hogwarts’ with ‘life’ and I have my November lesson.

I’ll end with a great sense of gratitude for friends and acquaintances this November. Without them it would have been a dull dull month.

PS: Thank you all of you for helping me with N’s pen-paper Vs Tab decision. I’ve decided to stick with pen and paper for now and give her the tab during the holidays when she would probably/hopefully be doing more writing. She’s also writing in her journal so that’s something.

 

Linking up with Vidya’s Gratitude Circle.

A loaf of bread and a lesson on ‘receiving’

A loaf of bread and a lesson on ‘receiving’

The other day a friend of mine, who is taking baby steps in baking, got me a freshly baked loaf of bread. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am exceptionally fortunate when it comes to friends.

I’d have been fine with a slice or two, but she insisted I keep the entire loaf, ‘I baked it specially for the children,’ said she. I felt a little awkward but she insisted. After a bit of a back and forth and a promise that she’d charge me for it I accepted, with a heartfelt thank you. ‘I hope the children enjoy it,’ she added giving me a hug.

We are all a little awkward when it comes to receiving, aren’t we? I know I am. It’s like an obligation which, I feel, I have to repay. That’s the way I was brought up. The idea was ‘If you cannot repay a favour, don’t accept it.’

I grew up meticulously keeping hisaab, refusing favours and always remembering to give back if I did accept something. Receiving made me uncomfortable, a little smaller, perhaps.

We talk of giving all the time and I’m all for it, but isn’t receiving an equally important aspect? There has to be a balance of come kind, I presume. After all there can be no giving without receiving.

Five ways receiving enriches your life Click To Tweet

Here are five ways receiving enriches your life

  • You form an instant connection. Accept a favour and see how quickly you form a bond with the giver.
  • You give the other person the chance to feel good about themselves. Isn’t that just wonderful? That you’re bringing happiness to someone?
  • Oh and conversely, you feel good about yourself too. The fact that someone wants to give you something reinforces your sense of self. After all who would want to give something to someone they don’t quite like?
  • You learn humility because you’re accepting a favour.
  • And you learn gratitude.

 

As moms, parents, adults we are used to giving all the time. It would do us good to sit back and receive for a change. So all of you out there:

  • Receive help. Ask for it and accept it with gratitude.
  • Receive compliments. A simple thank you without putting yourself down does it.
  • Receive gifts, yeah why not?

Accept, without any thought of paying back, simply with an open heart full of gratitude and nothing else.

PS: In case you were wondering, the bread was absolutely scrumptious – soft, flavourful and ‘cinnamony’ with a mild sweetness and nuts and raisins that sprung a delicious surprise in each bite.

Perfect!

 

and with #ChattyBlogs from Shanaya Tales

Thank you for not walking in my shoes

Thank you for not walking in my shoes

Come walk a mile in my shoes, see what I see, feel what I feel, live what I live, share with me my worries and my fears. Isn’t that what makes us human? The ability to be someone else for just a little while?

But then not everyone does that. Not everyone should do that. We need these people in our lives, the ones who refuse to walk in our shoes. Oh they may annoy us and frustrate us and make us really angry but we need them. I know I do. This post today is a Thank You to all my friends who refuse to walk in my shoes.

Thank you dear friend for not walking in my shoes; for making light of my worries when I am down and out. You make me see that life could have been worse.

Thank you for laughing at me when I am afraid. It is the sunshine of that laughter that melts away the mist of my fear.

Thank you for not being ‘understanding’ and leaving me alone even when I beg you to, because you know your presence is what I need though I may not admit it, even to myself.

Thank you for not holding my hand, for not walking with me into that pit of self-pity, the one I dig for myself, for pulling me out with a no-nonsense tug.

Thank you for keeping your head when I am losing mine, for doing for me what you think best, because sometimes you know me better than me.

Thank you dear friend for thrusting at me a delightful pair of stilettos when all I would have were my worn old sneakers. At some point in our lives all we need is a different pair of shoes.

 

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda for the prompt ‘Walk a Mile in my Shoes’.

 

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Just Wodehouse #BookBytes 18

Just Wodehouse #BookBytes 18

I’m keeping today’s post short and sweet in memory of one of my favourite authors who happens to have his birthday today – Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, ‘Plum’. The interesting thing about this first quote is that Wodehouse is trying to quote Shakespeare but in his own inimitable way. The Bard would probably have turned […]