Manufacture your own happiness

Manufacture your own happiness


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Around mid December I went down with a terrible head cold. I know now exactly why they’re called ‘head colds’ – everything neck upwards seemed to have become one fused, throbbing frozen mass of pain. The dependable Mr Murphy had to mix it up with a bit of this and that just to keep things interesting. And so the weather dipped in a funny way as it does here, with a ten degree difference between day and night temperatures, making N’s nose bleed copiously while H went down with a terrible allergy that had us rushing to casualty in the middle of that same night to get him an anti-allergic injection.

However, by next afternoon the children had recovered.

Overcome with sleep and exhaustion I left them to study and made for the bed. I pulled on a soft pair of socks and snuggled down in the comforter letting the medicines take over. In that moment all the panic and stress of the past day drained away, leaving me ever so grateful at how blissfully snug and comfortable I was.

That one afternoon sums up this year for me.

There have been challenges aplenty that have left me floundering, giving up, almost, on this whole parenting thing. But then there have also been friends, acquaintances, even random strangers sometimes, who have wrapped themselves around me in the warm blanket of their affection, soothing and comforting.

For that I am immensely grateful. I cannot do without friends and family and they will always remain an inseparable of my life.

My second takeaway from 2018 was that there really is no perfect life, there never will be. Nor will we (at least I won’t) ever miraculously find ourselves in a zen state when all seems well with the world.

All we have are small moments of happiness scattered through our days and it in these that we have to find our happiness.

Find happiness in the small things, in tiny happy moments scattered through the day. Click To Tweet

And also, we need to make sure that it is these moments that take up space in our hearts and minds; that we do not let the unpleasant moments overwhelm us and pull us down.

Of course it’s easier said than done. But being mindful helps.

As I scrolled down my instagram feed, scanty as it was, it showed me moments that had made me happy over the year – a hot cup of tea, a good book, a handmade gift, a walk with the kids, a piece of good music –  those are moments that I’m going to hold on to, the ones I’ll define my year by.

Here’s wishing all of you a very happy, healthy and hopeful new year.

Linking up with Vidya’s Gratitude Circle.

30 Replies to “Manufacture your own happiness”

  1. Wow, that must have been scary with all of you falling sick at the same time. But I have to say you amaze me with your ability to find the silver lining in any situation.

    That being said, I cannot agree more with the title or the content of this post. We are the only ones responsible for our happiness, and it’s up to us to seek and find it in our lives.

    And yes, while life is never going to be perfect, it does have its perfect moments, and over the years, those are the ones that I choose to dwell on, and it’s made me a more content and happy person.

    Wishing you a more peaceful, and happier 2019, Tulika!
    Shantala recently put up this amazing post…My Reading Goals for 2019My Profile

  2. Good to hear that you and your kids are better now! I know the situation when majority family members fall ill at the same time. But, as you talked about finding happiness in small things throughout the day, I am reminded of a saying by BK Sister Shivani: Don’t look at problems as Problems, look at them as opportunities that augment your power as a human being. And I find this to be so true. Wish you and your family a Happy, healthy, and a peaceful year ahead.
    Dr Shivangi recently put up this amazing post…Featured: Make Parenting as Simple as ABC by Setting this Parenting Goal!My Profile

  3. Hugs Tulika. That must have been scary to have the kids and you fall ill at the same time.

    So glad you’re better now.

    I hope 2019 is filled with many pockets of happiness that you can cherish and more comforting blankets of friends and family who keep you propped up.

  4. Hugs OM. And, completely agree with the take aways.. something I’ve come to realise and try to keep reminding myself in the past couple of years..
    Happy 2019! 🙂

  5. I can imagine how terrible December would have been for the 3 of you falling sick at the same time and that late night rushing to the hospital. These late night emergency runs to the hospital are the scariest. I am glad things got sorted by the next afternoon and you were able to rest with a feeling of gratitude. 2018 was difficult for you in many ways but I appreciate how you were able to count the moments of gratefulness in the midst of everything. I wish you a very very happy 2019. 2019 is going to be a good year for you and your family 🙂

  6. A head cold – that’s about the worst kind of cold to have. even worse than the loud scary sneezes or the drippy nose. And to have twin boys who suffer at the same time! Now that’s a real bad day. But as you say, we have to manufacture our own happiness because life can never be too happy or too sad.

    Wishing you well this year and hope you can sit back and smile with equal gratitude at the end of December 2019!

  7. How scary it must have been for you, Tulika, with you and also the kids, all falling sick at the same time!
    It is, indeed, wise–as I too learned–to find happiness in the little, mundane things, than expect and seek that happiness in things that are never going to happen. Life is NOT perfect, so there never will be those perfect moments of happiness that we so crave.

    Wish you a happy and a healthy new year, my dear! Take care…hugs!

    1. My aunt once told me parroting parenting is about learning to manage one emergency after another and that’s proving to be only too true. Looking for peace this new year and wishing you the same. Have a happy 2019 Shilpa.

  8. Since you’ve had such a rough 2018, I’m willing to bet that 2019 is more than going to make up for it by being simply fabulous! Hope you and the kids have recovered completely by now.

  9. Sorry to hear you’ve been sick as well as about the health issues for the kids. Glad they are ok and I hope you’re recovering well too. You are so right in that we need to make the little moments count, we need to focus on those and be grateful. 2018 was by no means an easy year for me but I think when I decided to keep a gratitude journal and also write my weekly gratitude posts on the blog, it made me realise there was so much to be grateful for. As you said, it can be a cup of tea, the friends and family, or even just the opportunity to be out in nature. It doesn’t mean we won’t grumble or feel really down on our dark days, but it does mean we will appreciate the good ones. Much love to you in 2019 Tulika and hope it’s a fantastic one!
    Sanch @ Sanch Writes recently put up this amazing post…Goodbye 2018 #YearinreviewMy Profile

    1. I agree, gratitude posts really help in keeping a positive perspective. I’ve been consistent with monthly ones but a weekly roundup, maybe done off the blog would be a good idea too. Thanks for dropping by and your warm wishes. Hope 2019 treats you well.

  10. I so get the situation you must have been in. Hope you got better soon. It is at such times, indeed, we look out for those we care for the most-family and friends. Life sure isnt perfect and we just need to go with the flow of it.

  11. Happy New Year Tulika! This is the gem I take away as I find myself nodding in agreement-My second takeaway from 2018 was that there really is no perfect life, there never will be. Nor will we (at least I won’t) ever miraculously find ourselves in a zen state when all seems well with the world. Truly its the imperfect moments and the memories we take away that matter the most! Chasing perfection is only going to burn us a s its a myth.

    1. Thanks Akshata. Yup, this is something I need to remind myself all the time and, borrowing your WOTY, all I’ll say is we need to pause and cherish each small moment.

  12. Scary stuff Tules and you make so light of it. I mean rushing a kid to emergency in the middle of the night can be such a nightmare. Hats off to you for being so calm about it. Hugs to both H & N – may good health shine down on them all of this year.
    Parenting is no mean feat and on top of that you run the house, work around the kids schedule and then blog/instagram and also go for your walks- superwoman you are in my books! I am so lazy compared to you 😉
    Wishing you a very warm and loving 2019 ahead!!! I hope this is the year we do meet up!!
    Shalzmojo recently put up this amazing post…Setting the TBR for the 2019 book reading challengesMy Profile

    1. Thanks Shalini for those sweet words. None of us has an easy life these days. At the end of it, it’s the attitude that matters – that makes us happy or depressed. Hope 2019 has only happy things for you.

  13. Oh that sounds like the stuff nightmares are made of – rushing kids to casualty is scary. Glad the three of you are better and I love your attitude!
    Warm New Year wishes to the four of you, Tulika!

    1. Tell me about it! When it comes to the kids I tend to panic easily even after years of practice. Glad it is all behind me. Thank you for your wishes Corinne and wishing you the same too.

  14. Hope you are feeling better, dear Tulika. I have a bad cough, the one that threatens to spill out your guts and lungs with every cough. And I hate these. They keep dragging on and on.

    I am completely in agreement when you say it is these nice moments that we must hold on to that make life so joyful. My 2018 has been very testing. But there have been so many thoughtful gestures, caring people and fun moments that have made me cherish my life and the people in it. There will be no perfect life or people, but this one is nice as well.

    Here’s wishing you a very Happy 2019. May we always find joy and happiness in the tiniest of things.

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