new year Archives - Obsessivemom

I am writing. Again.

By obsessivemom | 03/01/2020 | Comments 23 comments

The beginning of a year has always filled me with new vigour. It seems magical somehow, full of possibilities. Each year I print out planners, set blogging goals and health goals. I make resolutions, some of which I even manage to stick to.

This year, however, has been different. Because I’ve done nothing! Nothing at all. I tried to plan. To write. I opened my laptop multiple times. I sat staring at it but I just couldn’t. I read articles and blogs in search of inspiration. That’s what got me out of my limbo in the past.

Curiously enough, this time the more I saw year-end posts and resolutions, and Word of the Year posts and Vision Boards, the less I felt like writing. Because, honestly, I have no goals for this year. That sounds terrible – like a lost directionless ship. Moreso when everyone else seems to have everything worked out neatly.

Perhaps that’s why I couldn’t bring myself to write. It isn’t a happy confession to make – that one is directionless. It’s like belittling the whole business of writing/blogging.

Then today I received a gift and a beautiful little note from friends from a blogging community which I am sort of part of – in a very peripheral kind of way. But that small note reminded me of the fact that I am a blogger. Goals or not, professional or not, good or bad, five views or five thousand, I am a blogger, I write. That’s what I’ve done for over a decade, not counting the years I did it for a living. There’s no way I could stop doing it.

And so I resolved to try again.

Each evening when I drop the kids for their classes I workout at a gym. Today I decided to dump it. I ditched my tights and tee. I picked out a gorgeous new top and my favourite pair of jeans. I put on some gloss for good measure. Then I did away with my gym rucksack, got out my bright red handbag instead and slid in my laptop.

Today, I was going to write.

The children looked on, a trifle puzzled. H, who can never hold in a question asked, ‘Where are you going ma?’ ‘To write,’ I replied cryptically.

As they walked off to their class I headed for the smoky cafe I go to sometimes. It’s been an hour since I sat here with a terrible cup of bitter green tea for company and I’ve got down a thousand words! Not all thousand are going to make it to the publish button, maybe none of them will, but the good thing is I am writing. Again.

The blogging world is vast. It is easy to feel lost and inconsequential, like you and your writing don’t matter (and maybe they don’t, really). However, one must keep writing with the hope that someday, some small piece of writing may make a difference to someone somewhere, that it might touch someone in a special way, bring a smile maybe, or a nod of relief and understanding. And for that, one must keep writing.

So here I am with my directionless rambling. Perhaps this will mean something to someone else feeling just as directionless. Perhaps it will make them continue on their path, like me, in the hope of better things. Perhaps, tomorrow I’ll find my goal and write something meaningful. But for now, this is all I have, this will have to do.

The Magic of New Beginnings #GratitudeCircle

By obsessivemom | 06/02/2019 | Comments 16 comments

A week into February and the New Year hasn’t quite lost its sheen yet. That essentially means I’m going strong with my exercise routine, even though the weighing machine doesn’t seem to have noticed!

Anyhow, I am grateful my spirits are still up, and that’s the most important thing.

We began the year with..

…the almost-teens staying up till midnight for the very first time. The Husband was home and four of us stayed in watching a film award show (my guilty pleasure!), eating chips, pizza and cake and washing it all down with coke and wine (no guilt for those, after all it was New Year’s Eve. However this could give you some idea why the weighing machine doesn’t move :-)).

Other than the food we also indulged in serious celebrity spotting exclaiming at how cute Ranveer and Deepika looked while N rued that Zero didn’t make an appearance anywhere at all. H pretended to be annoyed at all the excitement and continued trying to roll his eyes (he still can’t). The Husband sat calling up people wishing them a happy new year in an attempt to ‘beat the rush after midnight’. And no he wouldn’t move to another room, he sits right there trying to speak above the sound of the telly, gesturing to us to turn down the volume, completely oblivious to our dagger-looks. It’s called a ‘mobile’ phone for a reason, I would have tried to tell him in the old times. Not any longer. Over two decades of marriage one learns to manage and so I simply turned up the volume while H and N wrestled the phone out of his hands. Once done, all was peaceful.

Just as the clock struck twelve

..we headed towards our beds but someone started off a fantastic display of fireworks. N ran to the balcony and called out to the rest of us. And so we sat out watching the display with the children oohing and aahing happily. That’s really the best thing about being a parent, looking at things through the children’s eyes makes them new and exciting.

The Husband slept off soon after but I could hear the children chatting away above his snores. That was the most reassuring sound ever – the sound of them bonding – allaying my fears that I was bringing up Kane and Abel.

School started

…and much as I like having the children home, it’s a relief to have the house to myself. I love that their school always begins midweek to get us all in the rhythm of things and also that their uniforms are the most hassle free ever, no hooks or pleats or belts or ties.

More excitement..

..came this month with Republic Day celebrations in our apartment complex. I love N’s enthusiasm that never flags despite everything being against her. No matter what happens she manages to get together a band of children and put up a performance each year. There’s much discord during the process. She comes home each evening with a bagful of complaints (everyone wants the lead role, no one is listening to me, no one is coming for practice, they aren’t serious at all…) and yet she sticks it out. I have to admit that many times, fed up with the arguments, I’ve told her to let it go (Yup, not supportive at all) but each evening she goes down with renewed enthusiasm. This year was special because H actually lent her a hand where once he used to be as bad as the rest of them. He helped her by restoring order and goofing around only when things got too serious. One more kick in the pants to my Kane and Abel theory.

I went to check a few final practices and I have to admit they’d done quite well, given the constraints.

Work wise too January has been a productive month

… with collaboration offers coming in. I read and blogged better than I’ve done in some time. It must be the New Year effect that makes me optimistic and happy. If only January 1st could come around more often than just once a year, it would do me world of good.

Till that happens I’m hoping to carry my upbeat spirit as long as I can through the year.

How did 2019 begin for you?

Linking up with Vidya’s Gratitude Circle.

Manufacture your own happiness

By obsessivemom | 02/01/2019 | Comments 34 comments

Around mid December I went down with a terrible head cold. I know now exactly why they’re called ‘head colds’ – everything neck upwards seemed to have become one fused, throbbing frozen mass of pain. The dependable Mr Murphy had to mix it up with a bit of this and that just to keep things interesting. And so the weather dipped in a funny way as it does here, with a ten degree difference between day and night temperatures, making N’s nose bleed copiously while H went down with a terrible allergy that had us rushing to casualty in the middle of that same night to get him an anti-allergic injection.

However, by next afternoon the children had recovered.

Overcome with sleep and exhaustion I left them to study and made for the bed. I pulled on a soft pair of socks and snuggled down in the comforter letting the medicines take over. In that moment all the panic and stress of the past day drained away, leaving me ever so grateful at how blissfully snug and comfortable I was.

That one afternoon sums up this year for me.

There have been challenges aplenty that have left me floundering, giving up, almost, on this whole parenting thing. But then there have also been friends, acquaintances, even random strangers sometimes, who have wrapped themselves around me in the warm blanket of their affection, soothing and comforting.

For that I am immensely grateful. I cannot do without friends and family and they will always remain an inseparable of my life.

My second takeaway from 2018 was that there really is no perfect life, there never will be. Nor will we (at least I won’t) ever miraculously find ourselves in a zen state when all seems well with the world.

All we have are small moments of happiness scattered through our days and it in these that we have to find our happiness.

Find happiness in the small things, in tiny happy moments scattered through the day. Click To Tweet

And also, we need to make sure that it is these moments that take up space in our hearts and minds; that we do not let the unpleasant moments overwhelm us and pull us down.

Of course it’s easier said than done. But being mindful helps.

As I scrolled down my instagram feed, scanty as it was, it showed me moments that had made me happy over the year – a hot cup of tea, a good book, a handmade gift, a walk with the kids, a piece of good music – those are moments that I’m going to hold on to, the ones I’ll define my year by.

Here’s wishing all of you a very happy, healthy and hopeful new year.

Linking up with Vidya’s Gratitude Circle.

Health and fitness goals

By obsessivemom | 01/01/2018 | Comments 49 comments

There’s something positive and happy and hopeful about a new year, isn’t there? There’s something about the promise of a new beginning that fills one with optimism.

As 2017 drew to a close I found myself not in the best of spirits. I found the mandatory year-end post quite a drag, I didn’t do a gratitude post, nor did I feel like making any resolutions. I seem to end up breaking them anyway. I just felt too old for all the end-of-the-year hype. The Husband was supposed to leave late last night just before we ushered in the new year, perhaps that had something to do with it. But that was yesterday.

Before the day ended he had managed an extra day’s leave, then his flight was delayed and he booked himself into one for the next day which meant we could spend New Year’s Eve together and that kind of lifted all our spirits. Today, I find myself planning plans and thinking thoughts – good ones.

And I have a resolution, a focus point so to say, for 2018. This year it has to be health and fitness that’s top priority. And I have a plan.

Here it is…

First up on the cards is a medical checkup. I’ve been putting it off for months, over a year actually. I’ve realised that no diet-exercise plan is going to work if my bones aren’t in proper order. So a check up and required corrective medicines/measures is the first step.
I find I can no longer exercise as I once used to. So moderate exercise is what I’m looking at, hopefully twice a day. That’s optimistic I know, but I’m going to try.
Yoga might not excite me much but I shall continue with it thrice a week for the peace of mind it offers.
I’ll take up Zumba twice a week for the pure fun of it, for a month to begin with. If I find I cannot sustain it, I’ll substitute it with a 5km walk.
As I grow older diet shall play a far greater role in fitness than exercise. Since I’ve always relied rather heavily on the latter, that needs to change. Which is why I’m looking at expert guidance to make a start and consulting a dietician is on the cards, but that’ll be after I sustain my fitness routine for a month.

I do realise I need to have other goals for writing, reading and self-improvement. However, I’m not too good a multitasker and so for now it is health that will be my focus.

And I shall have a quarterly review

I love Shantala’s idea of goal-setting and quarterly reviews. You might like to hop across to her blog to see what a wonderful job she does. Prompted by her I’ll do a quarterly review to see where I stand.

I’ve been subconsciously mulling over all of this for some time. But in the absence of a plan, I didn’t make much headway. It does feel good to have written it all down and I hope to follow it through. I’d love your support and suggestions.

Meet me on facebook at obsessivemom06 or follow me on twitter at @obsessivemom06 or at instagram also at obsessivemom06.

I’m terrible at managing social media accounts but it does help increase accountability and I hope to have regular updates.

What’s your focus this year? Does health and fitness factor in? Or do you already have a routine going? Do share it here so I can take a tip or two.

Raising a cheer to 2017

By obsessivemom | 31/12/2016 | Comments 39 comments

2016 seems to have slid by without leaving memories of anything exceptional. It was just so Meh! That said, I should perhaps be grateful and stop complaining because friends around me have struggled with illness and loss and much worse. All I had to deal with was a nagging not-so-happy feeling that left me listless, crabby and unwilling to do much, making it difficult to write or to concentrate on anything.

The feeling refused to leave despite trying pretty hard to get rid of it. Maybe I tried too hard and ended up strengthening it simply by thinking too much about it. That sounds crazy and over indulgent I know. I have no real reason to feel sad or sorry and yet I do.

The good news is that …

2017 is round the corner. There’s something about January the 1st, that fills me with optimism and enthusiasm. And maybe there is a purpose in 2016 being a duh! year. Maybe this year was meant to be a foundation for something better – so said my very wise sister. Maybe this was the push I needed to get out there and make something happen. And so my resolution for 2017 is to:

MAKE IT COUNT

That’s my resolution – to make my time and my life count

1. for people around me and

2. for me on a personal level too.

As I get caught up and sink overwhelmingly deeper and deeper in mundane everyday worries and chores the wish to pull myself out of it all seems to be getting stronger too. And that, I know, is a recipe for permanent dissatisfaction unless I do something about it. It might also have to do something with the birthday gone by recently, which has turned me a little philosophical. It has brought about a realisation that I won’t be around forever and that life is, or should be, much more than struggling with (and obsessing over) the kids’ studies, household chores and the freelance work that I am currently involved in.

I realise that it isn’t going to be easy to get myself out of all this. But I do have a plan of sorts and I intend to give it my best shot. I will talk about it here but not just yet lest these become another few of the hundred projects that have been planned but never took off.

I cannot afford to have another dud of a year. Here’s to a more happening, fulfilling 2017.

How has 2016 treated you? Do you have a plan for 2017? A time schedule for accomplishing your goals? Or do you intend to go with the flow? Either way – do be kind to yourself and make time to make yourself happy.

Category: new year