Girls and boys are good for each other

Girls and boys are good for each other

H is intensely competitive, specially when it comes to N. He likes to think that anything she can do, he can do better. However, at the same time he has quite a dislike for all things he has labelled ‘girly’. So it was with a bit of surprise that I discovered him making loom bands the other day. Apparently his competitiveness won over his dislike for ‘girly’ stuff. 


Even at 8.5 years he is clumsy as ever and can do with some hand-eye coordination practice, as also with a hobby that involves him keeping quiet and sitting in one place for some amount of time (other than watching the telly). I was one happy mum :-).

Linking to Mel’s # Microblog Mondays . Do drop by to see how others are faring after the weekend.

Also, linking to ABC Wednesday for the letter E for Engrossed.


On a somewhat related note I stumbled across this debate here on the Net about whether boys and girls learn best if they are segregated in single sex classrooms.

Research suggests children perform better in single-sex classrooms. Some maintain that the teaching pattern is skewed in favour of girls since sitting in organised classrooms works well for them while boys are better at hands on learning.

However as a mom to a pair of different sex twins I find myself disagreeing. Of course life would be much simpler with same sex kids, just as it would be easier with single sex children in a classroom. However the education we’re aiming at doesn’t have only to do with scores, is it? Boys and girls are different, that’s a fact. Their brains are wired differently, also a fact. Out of the classroom they have to live, love, compete and socialise with each other. The earlier they learn how to do that, the better.

H and N fight. A lot. Yet they have been teaching and learning from each other with no awareness of it. Without going into whether an ability is a ‘boy skill’ or a ‘girl skill, here’s how..

H might continue to be a Barbie destroyer but he has mastered plaiting their hair albeit shabbily, he knows how to make loom bands and, wonder of wonders, often remembers to put down the toilet seat! He makes an effort at drawing, crafting, singing and dancing again thanks to N.

As for N, she’s as girly as girls come but can throw a mean punch, enjoys computer games and is addicted to the outdoors perhaps even more than H.

Together they’re good!

48 Replies to “Girls and boys are good for each other”

  1. Yes, lots of people seem to swear by same sex classrooms. But really, I don't see it. That kind of segregation, for whatever reason, does't make sense to me.

  2. Haha…ah loom bands. Have a few clients into that. Re the education thing, I am all for co-ed. Apparently though, research has shown lately that boys perform better in single sex schools while girls are fine in both single sex and co-ed schools. Go figure!

  3. I have always felt extremely blessed to have one of each. Both approach life so differently. They are both fiercely loyal to each other but being around each other I think has given them an advantageous edge on understanding how the opposite sex ticks.

  4. Completely agree when you say that girls and boys are wired differently but they need to learn to co-exist in love and harmony as early as possible. A healthy competition is always good and helps to break stereo-types too. Great post, as always, Tulika!

  5. I always wished I had a brother — my parents weren't big on sports for girls and maybe I could have benefited a little from learning how to play some sports. And tolerate boys better when they don't sit down and draw quietly. πŸ™‚

    1. We didn't have a brother either, mysister and I, but I won't say we missed having one. We weren't into outdoors much too but as a result we turned into voracious readers. Everything has its pros and cons.

  6. Just noticed the comment above and want to talk about that first: that's a heteronormative ideology that can't get repeated results when the heteronormative lens is removed from the discussion.

    I was originally just going to say that those band bracelets are beloved by all — I think the boys at the school have just as many as the girls.

  7. I wonder what your thoughts on this will be when they are mixed in co-ed classes with hormonal teenagers distracting them from their studies … lol Stats show that girls do better in exam results without boys in High School but that boys do better in later ages 15-18 if they have girls in their classes. I wonder if the boys suddenly try to do better to impress the girls or just don't want them to win.

    1. Whether we like it or not gender stereotyping will happen. Even though I struggle to keep it neutral and normal kids pick up a lot from their peers. Drives me crazy, sometimes.

  8. Loved reading this…I agree with your view on coeducation… it is important for children to understand how the other sex works..

  9. Loved reading this…I agree with your view on coeducation… it is important for children to understand how the other sex works..

  10. Reminds me how my brother won't wear a tshirt if I or my sister wear it … even accidently, for him the tshirt would become girly even though it was his originally. I used to irritate him by wearing all his shirts πŸ˜› I believe it's better to have both sexes in a classroom, as you said, the earlier they learn to interact with opposite sex, the better.

  11. Your post took me back 20 odd years when my son and daughter were younger πŸ™‚ They are in their early to mid twenties but the sibling rivalry continues, their love for each other has also grown with time.

  12. Boys and girls learn from each other. Fighting and never getting along is all part of the learning process. It's lovely to see your kids learning from each other, Tulika. πŸ™‚

  13. I agree with you, education is much more than just academics. I went to a co-ed school and so did my children. Never regretted that.

  14. It is interesting to see that creativity has no gender boundaries at your home. In fact, I was amazed to see cookery and needlework as hobby classes in A's school which is an all boys school!

  15. Wow, the bands seem quite cool. That research seems interesting. Though, I have always preferred co-educational schools so that the girls and boys mingle and can cultivate healthy respect for each other. I think teachers can help boys if they have difficulty in certain areas compared to girls, but I would still prefer both girls and boys learning together.

  16. The best thing about an environment where girls and boys can grow up together is the fact that they grow up to be sensitive to each other and in many ways better than if they had been segregated… You know what I mean?

    Thanks for a lovely read Tulika πŸ™‚

  17. If the loom band is what I think it is, I never was able to figure it out, so good for your son for attempting to do so and being successful at it! I say it's a win-win situation if you can get boys and girls together, the earlier the better. Eventually they will have to learn to live with each other in society as peers, friends, work colleagues, marriage partners. And sometimes competition can be a good thing IF it helps to improve a person's skills or talents like it does with H. Good for him! And good for N for doing 'boy' stuff too! πŸ˜‰ <3

  18. This is a lovely read. Especially because I can currently relate to the whole loom band craze! Gy is fanatic about it as is my next door kid who is a boy in grade 6. So there is no gender typing there πŸ™‚ Good to see that creativity crosses barriers. As for the separate classrooms, I am with you. I think it is important that kids start seeing themselves as equals in every area and work with their skills and experience not because they are girls or boys.

  19. I just love your gender sensitive posts Tulika, you bring your experience as a mom into the picture so very well. I also heard recently from D that boys in her class also do try their hands out at loom bands and it was a pleasant surprise :). There will always be some ganging up in groups, but as long as some blurring persists we shall persevere!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Meet me on Instagram @obsessivemom06

Load More
Something is wrong.
Instagram token error.

RSS On my other blog

  • The Conundrum – A Review
    Book Title: The Conundrum Author: Ajita Jabal Shah Β  Β  The Story The Conundrum tells the story of Maia, brought up in a relatively sheltered world by open-minded parents who encourage her to follow her dreams. And that of Ajay, a poor farmer’s son, who has toiled his way to college. They don’t seem to […]