Notes from an almost-empty-nester
It’s been a while since we had coffee together dear friend and that is a good enough reason to sit down and take a breather. So pull up a chair, pop in a cushion and put your feet up for I have lots to say. This month has been as crazy as they come.
Continue reading “If we were having coffee together – 9”
‘Didi yeh phek doon?’ (Shall I throw this?) queries the maid pointing at my stash of old jam jars. It’s Diwali and the cleaning frenzy is on.
Thanks to the children’s exams I have managed to turn a blind eye to it all. Each time my conscience knocked at the door nudging me towards cleaning, I quietened it with a self-righteous stare that said, ‘Can’t you see how stressed I am? Cleaning is so not a priority.’
Now with the exams over and done with and less than a week to go for Diwali, the knocking has turned rather insistent and I have nowhere to hide. My conscience stands right there staring at me, broom in one hand wash-cloth in the other. No matter how hard I try to hide behind my books and my laptop there’s no escaping her steely gaze.
Come Diwali my conscience stands staring at me, broom in one hand wash-cloth in the other. Share on X
And then there’s my maid…
Somedays I feel sorry for her. She’s constantly puzzled with the things that classify as ‘DO NOT THROW’ in our house. Normally she turns a blind eye to our quirks and the things we hoard. However, with Diwali, she cannot seem to hold herself back. She has a conscience too after all.
For the past week, each day she has tackled a new part of my house dragging out things which she thinks need to be thrown – jam jars, used up tissue rolls, wine bottles, dried twigs, pine cones, big and small cardboard boxes, bits of coloured tiles and oddly shaped stones. And she asks me the same question over and over again ‘Didi yeh phek doon?’
The sane part of me says, ‘Yes, Yes Yes get rid of it all’ and then there’s this other part that says — ‘ooh that red stone’s the one we picked up at Vetal Tekdi, the day we spent an hour waiting for peacocks, it’s so pretty. I need those twigs we picked on our morning walks for that DIY project I’ve been planning for ages and the tissue rolls were to go into the making of a grand castle. As for the jam jars, they are such a DIYers delight, they certainly cannot be thrown.
So then, I fake a nonchalance I’m far from feeling, and I shake my head in a No, pretending not to see the maid’s incredulous look. She sighs in exasperation, satisfies herself with sweeping out the dust and replaces all my treasures where they’ll be safe till next year’s cleaning.
And now I must go for she’s at the shoe rack, picking out my favourite yellow canvas shoes, the ones that were gifted by my sister years ago, the ones I love to death even though they’re faded beyond recognition to a dull ochre. But they are such a perfect fit with not a scratch on them. I fully intend to refurbish them, paint them over and stencil them with a butterfly design – I’ve known the exact one for years now. I just haven’t gotten around to it. So ‘No’ I tell her before she can ask me that question yet again, ‘Wapas rakh do’ (put them back).
Disclaimer: The purpose of this post is not to glorify hoarding or procrastinating either, those are serious ailments of the mind, I understand that. The idea is:
One, to go soft on the children when I find them hoarding unexplained things. I’m sure it makes some kind of sense to them.
Two, maybe putting it out there will push me to some kind of action and I’ll put at least one of my DIY ideas in motion.
And lastly, maybe someday, years later, I stumble upon this post and if I still haven’t gotten around to painting those yellow shoes with that butterfly motif, maybe I’ll realise that I really need to throw them away.
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It happened slowly, over the years, ever so slowly that I didn’t notice. It happened when all of that became a compulsion. I’ve shared how I felt many times here on the blog. I even took Lakshmi ji to task. Jokes apart, Diwali to me had come to mean loads of cleaning, wading through crazy crowds, trying to drive bargains and draining out my bank account handing out those bonuses.
So I drew up a ‘Will’ and ‘Won’t’ list for myself. Take a look.
Dive into closets and lofts for that once a year cleaning.
Trawl the old city for the best idols, the ‘different’ diyas, the cheapest bargains.
Worry myself sick about visitors.
Try to clear up the kids’ cupboards or their room (Whew! Such a load off, already).
Go ballistic yelling at them to clear up either.
Try to keep a democratic approach with them (This one is HARD).
Try to say ‘Yes’ to them as much as possible. (I have good friend Shailaja to thank for this tip).
Put out fresh (not necessarily new) covers.
Put up the pretty stuff I’ve bought for Diwali.
Order gifts online.
Paint diyas with the kids.
Try new crafts with them.
Have a few festive foods like the mandatory Yam (So we don’t turn into chhuchhundars in the next life!) and a simple sweet like a kheer or the super easy atta laddoos which we make together.
Buy lots of sweets.
Starting from there we’ve spent the past few days happily cleaning up TOGETHER.
Since painting diyas was top of the list, that’s what we started off with. Midway through it N wanted a dance break so we put on some LOUD music and she danced. Then we got back to work. After a while she wanted to invite her friend over. And we did just that.
Here’s what we did..
… and then peeling it off was a cakewalk.
We stuck on some sequins and ended with some ribbon and gota. All we need now is for some candles to go in and we’re done.
And we tried some damage control. We pasted kite paper hearts on the really bad ones. Once the candle lights it up, we’re hoping it’ll look just as good as the others.
Then we wondered what to do with the bottle caps. So we made them into tea-light holders.
This was easy. And here’s a tip: Use a toothpick to pick up the tiny sequins. Once the kids got a hang of it, it was fun.
There’s a few days to go for the big day and we’ve had a relatively peaceful time. We still have some more things in mind which we might try out. But I’m not pushing it.
So what would your ‘Will-Do-Won’t-Do’ list look like? Of course it might be completely different from mine. If you love cooking that’ll feature big time or if you love to shop, city shops might be fun. The thing is to list and prioritise.
Happy Diwali!!
So sit back, relax and check out all the fabulous Diwali Dhamaka posts from the participating blogs in the linky.
Link in your Diwali posts here
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| That picture was taken a few years back when we were in Mumbai. The city is decked up for Diwali. |
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