Damn Damn Damn … it’s Hrit Naisha’s first day of school after month-long Diwali vacations and I’ve forgotten to put back their report cards in their bags.
Mess up number two: Even when the school shut Naisha’s sports skirt had become much too short for her and I forgot to get her a new one… Tomorrow is sports day and she/I will be in deep s*** if she isn’t able to wear it to school. The dress shop is all the way in Borivali! Damn.
But wait… it’s just school… so what if I send their report cards a day late?? So what if Naisha’s sent back for not wearing the right dress from school? It’s just ONE day among hundreds and hundreds that she WILL go properly dressed. Why oh why does a single mess up fill me with SUCH dread?
It’s almost like I’m back in school and worrying obsessively about whether I have my badge and ribbon, whether I’ve cut my nails, whether I’ve got the right time table… worry worry worry! I remember carrying ALL my books to school every day rather than going by the timetable for fear of being punished if I left a particular book home. Now, I’ve transferred that same anxiety to Hrit Naisha’s school.
Well part of it is because there ARE mothers who NEVER mess up, mothers who are contemptuous and unforgiving of others who do. And of course part of it is simply my overanxious personality. Anyway.. the worry here is not ME, but Hrit and Naisha.. I do NOT want to transfer my anxiety to them.. I do NOT want them carrying a truckload of books to school everyday like their chump of a mom. I want their school days to be carefree and fun. Yet I’d like them to respect school rules and be ‘good’ children. Oh for a balance!
Well for starters….. I need to stop obsessing about their school. I need to remember it’s THEIR school NOT mine. And, for now, I simply need to concentrate on making them conscious of school rules. Later perhaps I’ll need to tell them it’s not the end of the world if you do make a mistake. I can only hope to God they manage to strike a balanceIf I could, I would sweep off all anxieties and pains from their lives… but I guess I’ll have prepare them the best I can and will have to learn to watch them tread their paths alone, handle their apprehensions and fears on their own. And continue to pray and hope I’ve prepared them well.Epilogue: I ended up with the master of messups …. I lost their report cards… then obsessed about it for days… finally wrote in their diary and got new ones issued!!! It was that simple. The princi didn’t even call me to her office and fire me! Hah!
Red n White party
Great party. Naisha sang her heart out during the carol singing. Since I was partly responsible for the choir I had to stand with them and Hrit wrestled with me throughout the singing. I had to put up with him with a smiley christmasy face when all I was feeling like doing was giving him one solid whack. And I was singing too! Sometimes Hrit is sooo unmanageable.
He quietened down once the carols were through. Then Santa came on… Hrit and Naisha are still a bit scared of him, so they refused to even shake hands even while the other kids were completely mobbing him. After a looooong time Naisha gathered the courage to shake hands and then Hrit followed. After that they became comfortable.
They enjoyed the dancing at the end of the party and were the ONLY good children who waited to get home to open their gifts. Keep it up kids… mwuuaah mwuuuaah. You are the best.
Another good thing… when they opened their gifts, I think for the first time, they said… ‘this is exactly what I wanted’. Thank God… Santa breathed a sigh of relief.
Naisha loved her Barbie even though it didn’t have a wand and Hrit loved his tractor trolley. Amen!
Am I really obsessive?
Is it obsessive
* to look at the moon and think ‘damn what’s the point of coming out now when the kids have slept’… they soooo love to see the moon. * when I’m out without the kids and people look at me and say ‘oh I almost didn’t recognise you without the two little ones’. * to shout out ‘look aeroplane’, then realise the kids are not with me and I’m out on the road alone with people looking at me like I’m crazy. * to look at Hrit and Naisha and think.. no not just think… really believe no one has kids as sweet and special as mine. * to experience a moment of mad panic when I don’t feel two tiny hands in mine and then realise I didn’t bring the kids out with me.
Christmas!
This year will be the first Cristmas that the kids are aware of. They are quite excited for obvious reasons – Santa and his gifts. Naisha’s quite clear she wants a ‘Barbie with a stick and a star’ – a wand in normal parlance. I’ve resigned myself to her Barbie fixation. Hrit keeps vacillating between a tractor and a trolley, a guitar (when he saw one during carol practise), a badminton racket and God knows what else. I hope they’re happy with the gifts ‘santa’ gets them. Am quite anxious actually.
Desi boy
H is such an Indian khana kid, it worries me sometimes. I wouldn’t want him to be hung up on one kind of food. I’d like him to be flexible. So at the Mall yesterday I thought I’d introduce him to the burger – the Mc happy meal toy was another incentive. The Husband and I had to really push him to finish just half of it. I presumed he wasn’t too hungry. He slept off and then at four he woke me up with his characteristic mega kick, right in my stomach.
He was yelling ‘khana khana’ in his sleep. And so in the middle of the night I got him biscuits and even in his half asleep state he was sure he wanted the ’round round’ ones, Marie, not the fancy cream ones. He had his biscuits, drank water and went off to sleep. Funnily enough N slept peacefully through it all, like she always does.
Note to self 1: It’s going to be idlis and khichdi for H no matter where we go.
Note to self 2: N can sleep happily on an empty stomach, H cannot.