Tag: kiddie talk

K is for kiddie talk

K is for kiddie talk

My blog’s in imminent danger of dying… of boredom. Hence today I bring out my star performers to perk things up – my bachchas – a tried and tested way to infuse some life in this space. 

They’re growing up fast and instances of me laughing at their expense are getting fewer. Not far is the day when they’ll be laughing at me. Quite like my niece. She was puzzled when her mum (my cousin) started signing off her messages with Lol.  It was much later that she discovered my cousin thought Lol stood for ‘Lots of Love’. That now is a family joke.

The point I’m trying to make is that before the kids get a chance to laugh at me I might as well enjoy their little gaffes. 

These are dedicated to my son, H. Here goes..

He was passing me empty bottles as I filled them up with water. And he says, “We’re almost done Ma. There’s one bottle that’s half filled and this last one is already… Fulfilled.”

Another day in the kitchen he watched me flip over a pancake, completely awed. (I swear only my kids are awed by my cooking skills). Then says he, “Mama you’re such a great cooker.” Come to think of it ‘Cookie’ suits me better. And while we’re at it.. I’m a great mixer too.

While holidaying at a resort he drove us crazy saying he wanted to play Goose Ball. Wondering what that is.. take a look…

 While telling me about an exceptionally naughty classmate he concluded with, “I think his marbles are lost… his adaptation of ‘Losing one’s marbles’.

So what’s the funniest thing your kids have said to you?


For more ‘K’ entries at the fun Challenge, ABC Wednesday, go here.

Of love and donkeys..

Of love and donkeys..

Last Sunday afternoon as we switched on the television the fag end of the film ‘Ajab Prem ki Gazab Kahani’ was in progress. Ranbir is saving Katrina from the bad men. Katrina runs towards him and exclaims, ‘Prem!’ ‘Jenny’, say Ranbir Kapoor… ‘Prem’, ‘Jenny,’ …. On they go.
While N got caught in the ‘tense’ moment H let out a squeal of laughter.. “Jenny, he called her a Jenny.. a she donkey. He’s calling her a she donkey.”

Bet the film makers didn’t think of that! (I’m sure Jenny has another meaning).

Then comes a dialogue “Tum is ghar ki Bahu banne wali ho!” (!) and N asks,
“What’s a Bahu?”
“Daughter-in-law”, say I.
“What’s a daughter-in-law?”
Seriously sometimes the kids amaze me with what they know and sometimes with what they do not. While I was coming up with a reply she says, trying to make it easier for me,
“Who’s our daughter-in-law?”
“Nobody,” say I. “We don’t have one”.
“Does masi have one?”
“Never mind then”, says she losing interest.

And then finally at the happily ever after as Ranbir gives Katrina a kiss on the cheek.. “yuk,” says Hrit covering his face with his hands..”He kissed a she donkey!”

Sorry Katrina the kids are just not Hindi film buffs.

Rainbows on the ground

Rainbows on the ground

It was the morning rush hour. I was hurrying down to the gate where we wait for the school bus. I was trying to hang on to the mobile phone, the house keys, two bags (which the kids begged me to carry since they wanted to race to the gate) and two sweaters (which they refused to wear). All the while I have to have one eye out for incoming vehicles, another one at the gate looking out for the bus and at least two more to keep track of the kids as they race through their preferred short cuts … no wonder I was feeling light headed. It’s at times like this that I envy the Gods with their multiple arms and Mad Eye Moody  for his eye. Anyway .. I digress.In the middle of all this chaos “BHAI! RAINBOW” yelled N. I got just as excited as the kids (rainbows do that to me) and looked up at the dull grey sky but all I saw was a thick mass of black clouds. I looked back at N. She was jumping excitedly and counting.. “…. four, five, six rainbows. Mama look so many rainbows”.

“But how come they’re on the ground?” wondered the son.. “Maybe it’s a shadow of a real rainbow,” he reasoned squinting up only to find nothing. He then looked around wondering aloud, “Where did they come from?”

“I think it’s just magic,” said the daughter, eyes shining.

Feeling like a bit of a spoilsport I told them about oil spilling on wet ground and breaking up into colours.

I’m still wondering if I did right in taking away the magic from those rainbows.

The real holiday begins

The real holiday begins

I’m off to Lucknow. After two-months of waiting the tickets cleared finally. Thank You, whoever you are, for cancelling your reservation and making way for us.

Really this is such a huge perk of being a SAHM. Never in all my years of working could I afford a one-month holiday. Of course I carry my work with me but it’s definitely lighter what with dadu, nanu, nanima, dadima, masi, mamas, tai, tauji and a pack of cousins to share the kids.

I’m not the only one busy what with the packing and informing the milkman and the maids, the kids have been busy too..
Naisha’s been in a tizzy making a card for masi, the two of them being members of the MAS (mutual admiration society). The card features Chhutki of Chhota Bheem fame. The great endeavour was considered important enough for her to call up masi in the middle of it all to ask for her favourite colour so it could be incorporated in the master piece. Then she asked me for an ‘envelon’ and promptly coloured that too. Naisha certainly doesn’t believe in doing things by halves. Then of course sticking to the womanly stereotype of not being capable of keeping a secret she had to call masi again and tell her that she had a ‘prize’ for her (I still haven’t been able to explain the difference between prize and surprise to her).
Hrit got all excited and wanted to make something too though he couldn’t figure out for whom. He was however sure he wanted to make it only for a boy. He finally settled for Nanu.. choosing him over his cousins and Dadu. I hope Nanu is gratified enough at this honour and the others are not overly disappointed. He drew some colourful fishes in an equally colourful ocean.
Doesn’t it resemble Hussain’s work?
And here’s what happened when we tried to impart some ‘gyan’ to Hrit…

Hrit: may I have an ice-candy
Me: Not now. I don’t want you to fall ill because we’re going to Lucknow
Hrit: Why? Don’t they have doctors in Lucknow.

The Husband: Be good when you’re there. If anyone troubles dadima, nanima, dadu or nanu they’ll be put on a train and sent away.
Hrit: Where will they be sent?
TH: You can go where ever you want to.
Hrit (Thinking hard): I think I’d like to go to Bombay.

The only catch in my happiness.. the day long train journey. Beware all you co-passengers the twins are on their way.

This and that

This and that

For a long time Hrit has been stuck on the idea of becoming a ‘bus driver’ even while I have been trying to broaden his horizons. Finally he was ready to reconsider. “Mama,” said he, “I think I will be a tattoo man. You must get me that big book with lots of tattoo designs. Then I will get to go to many birthdays I will make tattoos.”
This too shall pass, thought I and it did.
Yesterday he announced, “I want to be a soldier.” Finally something sensible. He went around asking, “What do I have to do to become a soldier?” “Eat well and exercise well,” advised The Husband from behind the newspaper. So now he’s practicing pushups as he has seen in Chota Bheem. Counting begins at 21.
A spider was spotted the other day. I was made to put everything on hold and called to admire the insect. It was a miniscule specimen hardly worthy of admiration (after the huge mud-coloured ones we’ve lived with and learnt to get used to in our house in old Lucknow). Five minutes after I went back to the kitchen the son followed with an update. “Mama Naisha picked up the spider and flushed it away.” I was almost about to applaud… (Forgive me Gandhi ji but I really am relieved my daughter isn’t always the damsel in distress) the son added, “Now it’s family will cry no”. That made me bite back my applause and condole the sad demise.
They never cease to surprise me, these two.
In other news….

The daughter wants to shave off her hair because ‘after that it will grow very fast’.

and the son has learnt to laugh with his hand on his mouth in the most ladylike fashion.
The Husband and the daughter having a discussion..
TH: Don’t you think it’s time for Shanti to go to school? (For the less informed Shanti is my two year old grand daughter). Where should we put her LFS or Vibgyor?
TD: Papa she’s a baby she’ll go to TreeHouse first.

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