7 reasons not to waste time cleaning up clutter

Are you consistently at war with clutter? It is a formidable enemy, isn’t it? One who vanquishes you simply by its existence? But then one should love one’s enemy, or at least try to. So here I am – giving you a few reasons. Perhaps there will be a happy ending to this war.
1. You save time: Well obviously. No? Look at this – I, a non cleaner, end up spending about 2 hours everyday cleaning, dusting, putting away stuff and I’m discounting the sweeping, mopping done by the maid. That’s 14 hours a week, 728 hours a year, almost one full month. I could go on a nice long vacation in that time. I cannot even begin to calculate the criminal waste the OCDed indulge in.
2. Clutter makes life easy: I remember once my mum came visiting and while I was away at work she cleared up my room. Next morning when I put my hand under the pile of books which in turn was buried under a pile of clothes, I couldn’t find my earrings. That’s exactly where I’d left them last night, I remembered well. But mum had put them away in a neat little box, probably. Why oh why would anyone so complicate their lives? It’s way more comfortable to have things lying around so you can reach out for them when you need them. One of my very dear and very evolved uncles says he’d crawl out of bed leaving the ‘tunnel’ under the covers intact so he could crawl right back in after a hard day at work. Brilliant, I say!
3. Clutter allows for a delicious element of surprise: Now suppose I forget where I left my earrings, yeah the ones under the pile of books, under the clothes. And then one day I pull out a book I want to read and out tumble my favourite pair of earrings. What happiness!! Don’t tell me you’ve never whooped for joy when you found that 500 rupee note tucked away in an old bag.
And here’s an 8th reason. I’m not the only one who thinks clutter is good.

4. A cluttered house teaches better body balance: Since you’ll be hopping, skipping and jumping through piles of toys and clothes and books to get across a room, you’d better have good body balance. Somedays I have successfully manoeuvred my way through Barbies, skipping ropes, bottles of glue, hula hoops, sketch pens and superhero action figures while holding aloft a tray with milk glasses and mugs of tea. Oooh I’m good! Do I see a raised judgemental eyebrow? Where’s your spirit of adventure, hunh? If you do trip a few times, well you can only get better.

5. A cluttered house sharpens your senses: Can you spot your pista green cardigan in a pile of a hundred clothes? Well I can. See? That’s what I mean. It takes years of practice to heighten your senses to this level of perfection. Also it teaches you to cut yourself off from your surroundings and focus on the task at hand. And that is a gift, I tell you.
6. Clutter speaks of a gentle heart: How flint-hearted are people who throw away stuff the moment they stop needing it! Downright mean, I say. I still have the kids’ baby sketches and their pre-primary text books as also my clothes from the ‘thin’ era, half finished cosmetics I will never use again and mis-matched earrings and yeah even single socks. I keep them all.
7. You get to know your real friends: There are people who love you for you and then there are the judgemental lot who first check if your house is all spic and span and THEN decide to befriend you. Keep your house cluttered and you drive away fake friends.
That’s it then. Do come on over to our place but give us fair warning and we promise to clear out a place for you on the sofa. We’ll even remind you to dust that half eaten biscuit off your backside when you leave. We’re pretty hospitable like that.

Edited to add: The author takes no responsibility for injuries, physical or social, that might occur if this piece is taken seriously. 

Old mess new mess

I’m back. Back from the land of the Nawab’s to Peshwa land. 
There’s a sheen of dust on everything in the house even though the maid has been in to clean once. The pigeons seem to have converted my balcony into a mass loo of some kind. 
That’s just the new mess – the one I knew will be there waiting for me. That’s the one I’m prepared to handle.
What’s worse, my old mess also seems messier now that I see it after a month. The thing is, some bits of my home accumulate disorder slowly, over days and months, so slowly that I barely notice. I live with it all, in peaceful cohabitation, a kind of happy chaos.It makes the room cosy and ‘lived in’ or so I like to tell myself.
Clearly I’m not a cleaner. As long as my bit of workplace is neat and dust doesn’t come away when I put down my tea cup on the table I’m good.
If I’m away just for a week or so I won’t even notice anything. But when I’m away for a month, I see my house a bit like an outsider would, a rather judgemental outsider, I might add. And all the clutter comes leaping right at me.
There’s that side table that simply accumulates suff on its own, the rather worn out tissue box I’ve been meaning to change for ages, the medicines that need to be in the box not around it..… and so much more.
I’ve been cleaning, scrubbing, giving away stuff, arranging books, changing footmats, discarding faded towels – they fade away so silently I never even notice when I keep seeing them everyday.
All of this might have something to do with the fact that my mom’s and my MIL’s houses are always spotlessly clean and perfectly maintained. The two of them are bad influence.
I do need to get back to my comfortable messy self soon. This  cleaning will be the end of me.