Category: ABC Wednesday

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H is for Happiness

.. and that’s the elusive thing I’ve been pursuing, with some success.

At the beginning of this year I’d decided 2014 would be a year of positivity for me. Fortunately I stumbled upon this site here – 100happydays.com and have been focussing pretty consistently on finding one happy thing everyday, 100 days in a row.

It has done me a world of good. The traffic lights turn red right after I go across, my queue at the billing counter seems to be moving faster and the kids seem to be behaving better.

Two things I specifically gained from the challenge

To look for the good in not so good situations

This Saturday I got back from the gym and as I entered the house “Ta Da!!”, said the kids, “look what we made for you!” Even before I could see what they’d made I saw pink… Everywhere.. dry pink colour was over their hands, their faces, their clothes and all over the balcony. Yeah the instinct definitely was to let go. But one look at their smiles and I couldn’t. Then instead of focusing on this…

I focused on this…

and this…

After a few deep breaths I noticed they had kept the mess to the balcony and had also laid out newspapers just like I’ve taught them to, before they start something messy. And I felt the anger melting away. After exclaiming at their artwork, together we swept and mopped and then I sent them off for a bath. Bad situation salvaged!

The other thing the challenge has done is made me 

think about ME..

..beyond the kids and family, I got thinking what makes me happy. Of course I love the kids and of course my life revolves around them.. a lot. However, I was glad to realise I find pleasure in so many other little things – watching the sun rise with the husband, a good book, a blogpost that made me go ‘WOW’, a quiet meal, a delicious salad, a hot cup of tea. Of course I was enjoying all of that all along, i just became more aware of it.

Sure, is fun.

Linking to ABC Wednesday

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G is for ‘Something Good in everything’

H has a mentally challenged child in his class, A. H often talks about him and enjoys being with him because, “A is most fun to be with. His brain works differently ma,” he explained to me (No doubt as explained to him by his teacher).

A few days back he said it was A’s birthday and asked for a gift for him. I’m not big on gifts, (I prefer cards), but when H insisted I wrapped a small one for him.

I forgot about it till this Saturday when I went for the Parent-Teacher meet. During the conversation his teacher said, “A’s mum has asked specially to convey her regards to you. She had tears in her eyes, so touched was she with H’s gift for A…..:,”. I was beginning to puzzle over, what I thought was, a bit of an overreaction, for a small gift. Then, continued H’s teacher, “…specially after A had attacked him a day earlier”.

That made me sit up. How come H didn’t mentioned this? H, who shows me every tiny hurt.

I took it up with him. “Did A hurt you?” I asked.
“Yes mama. He didn’t want me to sit at his desk but teacher had asked me to, so when I went and sat he got angry. But then teacher came and helped me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
“Because it was only A. He doesn’t mean to be bad. He gets angry sometimes. I’ve told you na, his brain works differently,” was his reply.

This was H
– who remembers every single real or perceived injury and insult for ages.
– who doesn’t pause to think before landing a punch at his sister.
– for whom I went to a counsellor when he was 3, because he couldn’t control his anger.

Oh he’s come a long long way. I was so proud….
…of H for not holding a grudge, for being so mature.
.. and of their school for practising ‘inclusive education’ in its true sense.

It cannot be easy. I’ve heard other parents complaining and do perhaps understand their concerns for their children. However, now I see how positive it can be to have A in the same class, not just for him but for the other children as well. (What is required, is perhaps a little more help and vigilance from caretakers).

Isn’t this what differently abled children need? Not pity, not special schools, not special treatment.. Just a matter of fact understanding that they do things differently, react differently, that they are ‘different’, not less not more, than the other kids.

And a HUGE HUGE thank you to A for bringing out the best in my son and for introducing me to a whole new side of him.

There really is “Something Good in everything”.

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Linking to ABC Wednesday . Do click on the link for more great entries.

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F is for all that’s ‘Familiar’

About a year back we invested in a new house. We were super excited because it was twice as large as our current one, was situated right behind the kids’ school and to their complete delight it came with a personal plunge pool in the balcony. Quite a dreamhouse! It is now ready for possession but none of us want to go. Once in a while the kids remember the pool and ask ‘When are we moving?’ but then they happily go back to their friends and forget about it.

Whoever said familiarity breeds contempt pretty much misunderstood the concept. To me, as I believe to a lot of us, familiarity spells comfort and friendship and security.

Though not a true blue extrovert, I have made some good friends. Friends who call me up if they don’t see me around for a few days, who keep my letters safe if I’m not around to receive them, who help me out with every imaginable thing from sharing parenting troubles to accompanying me on coffee dates when I need a breather. (Muah to all you guys)!

I like the smiles I exchange with familiar faces in the elevator every day even though all of them are not my friends.

I like it when the usually surly building guard strikes up a conversation.

I like knowing that four rounds of my apartment building make a kilometre when I take my evening walk  (yeah I’m stuck up like that!).

I like being welcomed by the coolest freshest breeze as soon as I enter our building compound.

I like keeping count of the huge yellow Hibiscus that bloom with great regularity in the garden, even though it isn’t my personal garden.

Most of all I love the street outside my apartment building. Crammed in about half a kilometer are vegetable vendors, a fishmonger, a stationery shop, general merchants, fruit sellers, a cobbler, snack shops, medical stores, a scooter repair shop and even a library. Oh I almost forgot to add.. an auto stand and a bus stop, two tiny temples, a mosque and some small time tailors (who handle fancy dress costumes for the kids and all of my alteration work as I put on and shed weight routinely!!)

And yet it’s not too crowded since we’re almost at a dead end.

Can it get any better? (Umm… still wondering if I missed out anything!)

I like it when I’m greeted by a smile at each of these shops. I enjoy the bits of conversation I exchange. If I miss going to the guava guy, I know he’ll come looking for me to my flat with the right mix of raw and ripe ones just the way we like them (raw ones for The Husband, ripe ones for me).

Apologise for the poor picture quality.. it was clicked in a hurry.
You can see the library flanked by the snack store

Tell me why I should want to move?

And contrary to that saying, familiarity makes my day, everyday!

For more fantastic entries go to  ABC Wednesday. 

Also linking to Marathon Bloggers ‘A story for every picture, a picture for every story’ 
for the prompt ‘Street’

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E is for Embarrassment!

Having kids is great therapy. They are free souls and ensure you become one too, whether you like it or not. It’s quite a journey – this transformation from a self-conscious person to a free soul.
Along the way there are scores of moments when you crave Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, when you wish you were anywhere but there, when you wish you were anyone but their mum.. But does that happen? Nah never. So you grin and bear it.

 

That’s what I did.

From my early days as a parent, here are my top five may-the-earth-open-up-and-swallow-me moments.

1. When N was barely two she got into a brawl with a shopkeeper. She tottered into a shoe shop and took a fancy to one of their footstools. Without so much as a ‘May I’ (she could barely talk.. so one may consider that as an excuse) she decided she had to have it. When I reached the crime scene the gentle shopkeeper was trying to wrest it out of her grasp, while she hung on, babbling profanities (I presume). It took some serious persuasion before she let go.

2. Then there was the time she had a tantrum in a mall. She lay down on the floor screaming. I was trying to wean her out of her tantrum throwing so I pretended to walk off, then stood at a distance watching the drama. Within minutes a crowd gathered. Before I could go claim her there were about 20 people looking on and wondering which heartless mother had abandoned her thus. Yeah.. this round went to her completely!

3. Then once H started craving pineapple. What with my crazy schedule, I kept putting him off. One day he spotted it at a juice stall. Before I could say ‘pineapple’ he had picked up the huge fruit and sprinted off followed by the stall owner, followed by me with all my post pregnancy weight, followed by N who thought I was deserting her. Phew! Quite a race that was.

4. Another time at the mall while playing hide and seek among the clothes, H discovered the accessories stand. I presume he took it to be a tiny merry go round of sorts with girly jewellery as its boring occupants. So he decided to perk things a bit and give them a memorable ride. He spun it so hard hairbands and earrings went flying out in all directions. That was perhaps the last nail in the coffin of my self-consciousness.

5. Oops did I say last? Correction! The last nail was the day they discovered the lingerie section. See the possibilities? That day the kids, all of three, discovered more ways to work with those wares than you and I can ever imagine. Trying to figure out how/where they were worn, coolly discussing which was a better colour – Turquoise or pink – and even calling out to my sister.. Masi which colour do you want? My sister vowed never to go out with them.

They scarred me for life. For years ‘MALLS’ meant ‘DANGER’. Read the whole story of me being mauled at the mall here. Not that they needed to be in a mall to embarrass us. They were pretty flexible that way and could work with any situation.

And I’m not even counting everyday stuff like peeking under changing rooms (Mama do you need help?) or holding conversations while you’re in a public loo (What are you doing Mama? Mama how long will you take? Mama come out now. Mama we’re getting bored… all in the space of two minutes), or kicking co-passengers’ seats during flights (Don’t even get me started on that one).

However, this is in no way meant to deter my yet kid-less friends. Learn from them, I say. Keep an arsenal of apology and a winning smile at the ready even if in your head you’re going ‘oh shit, oh shit oh shit’. (Nope you CANNOT say that aloud, kids are listening, remember?)

One thing I can promise, you never will have a dull moment.

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Linking to ABC Wednesday. For more Exciting Entries go  here.

 

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D is for Dogs.. stray dogs

I’m not a dog person, not even an animal person at all. They’re
messy and smelly and hairy and so demanding. And I’m talking about pets.

Add to all of that, a basketful of fleas, a bucket of
grime and a bunch of scabs and wounds and you have the strays. They really have
no chance of making a case for themselves.
So why am I doing a post on them?

Well that’s precisely why.

Nope this is not a sympathy post, though of course they
deserve that and much more. However this is not as much about them as us. In our country, we find them everywhere, right? 

So what do we do about them?
– We can ignore them (for how long, though?)
– Chase them away (they’ll only come back)
– Wait for the municipal corporation to do something (which
may take ages or not happen at all).
Even if the corporation does step in, all they can do is get
them sterilised and vaccinated and release them back. They cannot be killed unless they have rabies. At least that’s my
understanding of the law. If I’m wrong please do correct me, dear readers. There just aren’t enough dog shelters to take care of them all.

Dog lovers might suggest we adopt a stray. Not being
one myself I can understand how that might not be an option for all of us.

However,
here’s someone who found a humane yet practical option. Meet Kalpana. She
runs a library close to where I live. I’d watched her feeding these dogs and
hated the thought of navigating my way through a bunch of them to get to my books.
However, over the years I’ve learnt to see her point and their’s too.

Another friend takes a snooze
That’s Kalpana with ‘Tipu’

Kalpana looks after some eight dogs of our locality. She got
them sterilised and vaccinated. She feeds them everyday. The vaccination and sterilization is way more important than the feeding.

The canine friends have become an integral
part of the library and can be found snoozing among the books or happily
welcoming book lovers who drop by.

Once they know they have a regular supply of food they
turn less aggressive and more friendly. Come to think of it I’ve never as much
as heard a growl from any of those at the library.

What a compassionate solution, this is! Don’t you think?

In parts of Delhi the stray population went down drastically due to similar initiatives taken up by animal loving citizens. Go here for that story.

PS: If you’re a regular here this post might sound familiar. Yeah.. a piece of fiction I did recently was inspired by strays like Tipu. 

This post is done for ABC Wednesday – a fun initiative for bloggers.

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