Author: Tulika

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I hate girls

.. that’s what H has been saying over and over and over again.

It started over a year back when he refused to talk to my mum, asking instead only for ‘nanu’ because apparently he didn’t like talking to girls. It’s just a phase, I told myself.

The other day I met a friend of mine walking her dog. “Is it a girl dog or a boy dog,” he wanted to know. “Girl dog,” said my friend. “I don’t like girls,” said he and thereafter refused to pet that friendly pom no matter how much she wagged her tail. Oh well he’s not into dogs, thought I.

Then he refused to go to dance class. “Too many girls,”said he. He’s not the dancing type (just like me) I thought as I pulled him out of the class.

Then he didn’t want to participate in the annual day because… “Teacher has given me a girl partner. I don’t like to dance with girls. I want a boy partner,” he complained. With about a week to go for the function his complaints have only increased. “Silly stupid girls,” mumbled he as he got off the bus today. “What happened?” queried I. “My dance partner, mama… I told you – she’s a girl na. I don’t like her.” Not again, I sighed. Thinking I should sort this out once and for all I asked him.. “Lazy girl.. sleeping all the time. I get shouted at because of her.” I’m sure at least some of that is not true.

Just as I was re-telling myself he’d outgrow this ‘phase’ soon enough, came the final straw.
Over dinner a few days back says he..
I am going to marry a boy.
Me (trying to play it cool): Why?
H: I like only boys. We’ll have so much fun. We can play all the time.
N (adding her bit as she licks the ketchup off her parantha): I know who I’m going to marry.
Me (Ready now for almost anything): Who is it?
N: V (He’s a dear friend’s son, and that’s a story I’ll keep for another day).
Me: Speechless!
Then two days later H says.. “Mama may I marry Y, please.”.. that’s his best pal.

So well both my kids are ‘settled’ now. Only Y is shifting next session and I’ve to prepare H for his very first heartbreak. Wish me luck guys.

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The results are out…

Measurement time at the gym. It’s like an exam that I want to put away, always.
I’ve lost some weight I know … but they have something called the ‘body composition analysis’ which tells you whether you’re losing weight the right way.

So well.. I was okay on the weight loss front but along with the fat I’ve lost muscle mass … not good at all. It’s inevitable, say gym veterans. But I’m not too happy.. I really need to do this the proper, healthy way. So no more climbing mindlessly on that treadmill/cycle and staying there for ever. Less cardio more weights, pronounced the trainer. More proteins in my diet too. Soy Milk.. yuk plus I HATE weights.

Bone density is down too.. another no no… Calcium supplements on the way.

And the final verdict.. my metabolic age is 50 years… yikes. I need to get younger. But that’s the best part.. you can get younger… yay.

Last word: I’m behind my November target by a few 100 gms. Hope to make it up this month. Walk walk walk. .. eat right, eat right, eat right.

Last last word: Made laddoos today, Naisha’s farmaish. Imagine spending an hour rolling that ghee-sugar-steeped mixture into laddoos and NOT popping a single one in your mouth. Nope that’s not what I did… I did not ‘not pop’.

PS: Can’t get the ‘Kolaveri’ song out of my head. Heard it anyone?

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I am an addict

Another age has gone by since I last posted. And I don’t think I’d have got back but for a post by ~G. Last month the kids gave me a really hard time. After they crashed each night I crashed too.. right in front of the television. As I revelled in the peace I surfed.. aimlessly initially, then I started following some shows, then I marked out some that I would watch during the commercial breaks in others, then I found out the repeats, then I was dying to catch them at all odd hours.. after I was back from the gym, a half hour after lunch, another half hour after I dropped the kids for dance class… Gosh! The trash I watched… shows, Hindi, English, films, news, documentaries… all of it.
I even end up watching shows I’m not particularly fond of them … even if I really dislike them. The other night during an episode of Big Boss I threw down the remote in utter frustration at one of the contestants’ antics and walked off to bed… but I was back the next day wondering what happened after I’d left.
It’s crazy… TELEVISION IS CRAZY… actually… I’m crazy for getting addicted. God knows it’s as addictive as a drug.
Kudos to those who are doing without television. I don’t aspire to that, but ‘go slow’ will be the buzz words now on.
Hope I’ll be here more often.

PS: I still have the gall to restrict the kids to their regular one hour of TV a day. 🙂 How tough it is to be a real role model!

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We watched Ra-1

In the middle of all the mayhem of the past weeks we managed to watch Ra-1. This fact needs to be documented because this is the kids’ first SRK film, my heart throb for the longest time.
Hrit was excited because bloodthirsty boy that he is, he looks forward to any kind of action.
Naisha was excited because of Chamak Chalo.. the song not Kareena (who Hrit calls Kaneera).
I was excited about a blue-eyed SRK besides I do so love the whole theatre experience.
The Husband, poor unwilling soul, was dragged along complaining about having to pay through his teeth for three hours of torture.

We settled down, 3D glasses on our noses and popcorn tubs in our laps. Five minutes into the film and Naisha asked,
“Mama when will Ram, Lakshman come?”
Ram Laksham??? “There are no Ram Lakshman in the film,” said I.
“Then who will kill Ravan?” she persisted.
“G-1, will,” said I.
“Who is G-1?”
“Keep quiet and watch the film,” said I.

She mercifully turned to The Husband who I think, was glad of any distraction.
Hrit, who had so been looking forward to all the mar-dhad, discovered he wasn’t such a braveheart after all. Just as RA-1 came alive he threw down his popcorn and jumped onto my lap. He proceeded to dig his face in my lap (along with the two pairs of glasses) with fistfuls of my T-shirt in both hands. Amidst his chants of “Let’s go back” I glanced to my right, worried about Naisha. There she sat cool as cucumber, crossed legs, munching her popcorn.
Finally when G-1 arrived Hrit disentangled himself and exclaimed, “You ate up my popcorn,” which might have been true considering it had been ages since I had the caramelised version.
The rest of the film was pretty uneventful. Of course not counting the periodic dropping of the 3D-glasses. I spent half the time on all fours, mobile in hand, looking for them among tons of popcorn under the seats. The lenses would come out of the frame making my task ever more exciting and challenging.
The kids enjoyed the film, The Husband refused to comment. I, of course was glad I came, just for old time sake. Besides, considering the kind of films SRK is making, if even his loyal fans stop coming to the theatre he’d be soon out of business.
I do so wish he’d make something nice, something sweet and romantic and I wish he’d stop trying so hard to be ‘young’ and ‘cool’. I wish he’d stop using — cliches South Indians have Golliwog hair, those noodles with curd, the ‘aiyyos‘ and that fake South Indian accent.. just so not him. I wish he’d stop trying to please everyone —  Karva Chauth in a sci-fi film, Kareena’s thesis on abuses …. pleeeeze.. it’s not even funny.
Still waiting for a proper, real SRK film.. or maybe I’ll just watch the old ones. “Dil toh Pagal Hai” tops the list, still.

PS: The blue-eyed SRK was definitely cute.

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