Slowing down

Slowing down

This past week has been one of the busiest, not just for me but for the children as well. After the rather lazy Diwali vacations we were all struggling to come to terms with our schedules. The weekend promised to be even busier what with the children’s hobby classes, a PTM to go to (which takes up all morning with some 10 to 12 teachers to be met) and two birthday parties.

My head was reeling as I tried to schedule pickup and drop timings for both the children while also trying to make a few hours to help them with their studies and also adjust the maid-timings!

My SIL called up to chat and raved about a must go-to exhibition that she’d spent three hours browsing through. She offered to accompany me if I could make time over the weekend. I am rather reluctant for such a plan on a busy weekend but this time I was sorely tempted. A quick mental check and I figured I could squeeze it in.

A little later, however, on an impulse, I cancelled the trip. Yeah I flip-flop a lot.

Sure enough, as I picked up H from his guitar class, the exhibition had lost all its charm even though barely half the day was through.

Instead of running home to let the maid in, I called and instructed her to get the keys from the neighbour and took H off for a coffee/drink at a close by cafe. I was done with the driving around. I ordered a huge Latte while he got himself a tall glass of Iced Tea. There was still an hour before N had to be picked up and so we settled down for some one on one conversation.

We talked about our tentative move to a new house next year. He said he’d miss his classmate who lived close by and we planned future play dates. We discussed his teacher’s comments at the PTM that he needed to mix with other children apart from his two closest buddies. He told me about his much-hated football coach who had been nasty yet again to another friend of his.

We got back relaxed and in good time to pick up N. Not going to that exhibition proved to be one of the best decisions I made.

There was a time I would load up my day with a list of things to do and would go through it systematically. At the end of the day the ticks on that list brought a huge sense achievement.

However, I can no longer do that.

I find I cannot go through a list of back-to-back tasks as easily as I used to. Click To Tweet

The physical effort might not be too much but the mental effort of not just planning but also of getting the children ready, the constant calling out to them, of sorting their hundred tiny disagreements and listening to and solving their myriad problems is exhausting. And so I’ve learnt to take things easy, to slow down.

As we drove back home the image that remained with me was of H carrying the tray with our drinks, his tongue stuck out as he concentrated on not letting them spill. Nothing I’d have found at the exhibition would have been as precious.

 

 

Linking up with Mackenzie at Reflections from Me #mg

32 Replies to “Slowing down”

  1. I am astonished to see how you managed to slow down even while running around a lot. It is like taking deep breaths in between, right? I could see H holding the tray, sticking his tongue out in my mind. You are doing a lot and much efficiently too, Tulika. Hugs to you.

  2. If you remember, I’d written a slowing down too. And hence I could relate so much to what you’re saying. In retrospect though, it’s all in the mind perhaps.We simply stress ourselves out with the amount of things we have to do and have to achieve usually within a short span of time. So, taking a break every now and then is a good thing.

  3. It must be so tough on you. Here it is the two of us and yet we struggle. You know I find the weekends much more exhausting, especially mentally. There are so many things to be planned and executed and when I just kick up my shoes to watch on favourite serial on Amazon or Hotstar, I keep feeling guilty. The husband and I have split PTMs, each one goes to one. And I skip meeting all the teachers. Just don’t have the patience to keep waiting endlessly. Yes, spending time with the kids is nice and we do our daily talking sessions when we walk/run together. Even I find it difficult to go for exhibitions or even good old shopping. I have become more of a home body now.

    1. Splitting PTMs is such a fabulous idea. I think I should also stop meeting all the teachers. It is so very exhausting and a lot of them having nothing much to say.
      I do love exhibitions. There was a time I’d go to as many of them as I possibly could. Now it’s just a rare treat.

  4. Awwwthat last line. He must look so cute with his tongue out. Relaxing is always a better option and squeeze in too many things. You wouldn’t have enjoyed the exhibition much like that. Hope you are able to catch it though

  5. I have started loving such days though letting go of the ticking off the tasks from the To-Do list dominate most of my days. While the sense of purpose and the sense of accomplishment at the end of the day after finishing all tasks is high, but some days should be taken coolly, without the mad rush. It’s wonderful that you had so many moments to cherish and love. 🙂

  6. Tulika the best part about your stories is they are so heart warming and endearing – I could picture you and the sonny in a restaurant, having a conversation. Though my girl is young, I do have the habit of cramming too many things in a day- your post made me ponder , I should savour the moment and let it be..

  7. The one thing I loved most about you from this post was your ability to say No despite giving a Yes initially. Saying a No is not easy for many people. And so is the constant mental calculation of to dos. If it is about the kids, we tend to go out of our comfort zones. A little reminder of slowing down every now and then is helpful.

    1. I have to admit it’s new – this ability to say No. And a good feeling too. I find it easier to say No since the children came along. If I feel I’ll be compromising on them in anyway the No comes easily enough. Not for nothing am I Obsessivemom :-).

      1. I am the same and if you remember, long back, before we knew each other as Tulika and Anamika, I had told you I am the equally obsessive mom and since you have already taken the name so I can be called as the bespectacled obsessive mother or the obsessive bespectacled mother 😀

  8. You know, sometimes there are things we so wish to do, but can’t. We repent, fret over it, but later we realise it was all for the good! We spent that time doing something much more constructive and satisfying.
    Good for you and for H. One on one talks with kids are precious. One on one talks with parents are, too! Like I had this Sunday when mom and I went out together. Just the two of us. I so loved each moment! Am going to treasure it all my life. 🙂
    And, about how you juggle all the things singlehandedly, it’s a mystery to me! More power to you, girl!
    Hugsssss! <3

    1. Heart-to-heart conversations are always a pleasure whether you are simply fooling around or sharing your deepest feelings. It’s prioritising the right things that’s the toughest part of life.

  9. I think you certainly made the right decision, you may feel accomplished by finishing a load of tasks by the end of the day, but you will also feel exhausted and overloaded. It’s nice sometimes to slow down and catch up with loved ones.
    #mg

  10. Aww Tulika. Big hugs. First, it is stressful, doing all that you do and going it alone as well. It’s not easy and you have to cut yourself some slack. I am so glad to know you managed to do that this time. It’s crazy to think of all the things we carry around, mentally, isn’t it? How we tire ourselves out and not have any energy left over.

    I love these one-on-one sessions with the kids you speak of. It’s when they are at their frank and open best, I find. May H continue to confide in you and carry that tray as cutely as he does always 🙂

    1. Like I said, it’s the mental stress that tires us out physically and takes away our efficiency. It’s always fun to talk to the children. Oh and I do hope he gets better at carrying the tray – he’s the clumsy one in the family.

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