Tag: The OM

Obsessivemom needs a break

Obsessivemom needs a break

The OM is upset. It’s the kids. They have been giving her a specially rough time. Put it down to the long Diwali break, the absence of the husband or simply to the twins’ terrible tweens. She’s been by turns, angry, hurt and frustrated. So she seeks out her better self – The Sane Mum. You might remember her from here here or here 
OM: Did you just see how the twins spoke to me? How unappreciative and ungrateful they have become? And how very rude!
SM: I did. Have you noticed that they’re growing up?
OM: I have. But does that mean they have to be rude and argumentative all the time? They’re children still and I am still their mum. I still AM the older one around here. Or does no one remember that any longer?
SM: It might do well for you to remember that you are the older one here. You aren’t really handling this like a grown up. Actually, I’ve been waiting awhile to have this conversation.
I’ve watched you being drawn into long fruitless arguments. I see you realising you’re going nowhere and yet unable to stop.
I’ve seen the endless war of wills and watched them all end badly.
I’ve seen you get into control freak mode the more they resist; the more you control the more they resist.
I’ve watched the kids trying to assert their independence and also seen with regret how you’ve waited for them to fail.
And then you’ve been ready with your ‘I told you sos’.
I’ve seen Mushy Mum (MM) run and hide till Mean Mum (MeM) takes over and then I’ve been witness to your heartfelt regret.
Cut them, and yourself, some slack will you!
OM: So you’ve been having a laugh at my expense? Well, they might THINK they’re grown up but I still have to guide them in a hundred things. They NEED me still. 
SM: … and they always will. But perhaps it’s time to guide them not by holding their hand and leading them but simply by showing them the way.
OM: It’s just easier to pull them along.
SM: Sure is. Keep doing that and watch them run the other way.
OM: There’s no need to get sarcastic.
SM: Uh okay..sorry. I kind of know how you feel. It’s the way you’re made – manufactured to obsess. But you need a makeover, and fast, or you’re set to lose them.
OM (panicking): Lose them? 
SM: Yeah. You need to remember that the kids are no longer babies. What worked for you might not work for them … or it may … they want to figure it out themselves. Let them do it. They need a break from your obsessing.
OM: So it’s all my fault? Exactly whose side are you on?
SM: Their’s. But so are you, aren’t you? We’re all on the same side.
OM: Yeah right but I don’t want to leave.
MM: Nor do I. They just don’t want me around these days.
SM: I don’t think ANY of us wants to leave. But OM you need to change into me, or at least disguise yourself really well as me. As for MM, you need to be around too but don’t ever, ever show up in public. Keep those hugs and kisses in check. When the two of you are in your element there really is no space for me. And you do need me most at this point of time.
OM: You’re unbearably pompous. So the two of us should go into hiding while you rule the roost?
SM: That’s right. Unless you want to lose the kids.
OM: No no of course not. I’ll give it a shot but I have a feel this is going to be a rough ride. Sigh!
Finding Me Time

Finding Me Time

My throat’s dry from reading out for hours on end — not the short two page stories but ones that stretch over 200 pages, my eyes are drooping from lack of sleep, my ears are ringing with the sound of the nebulizer switched on every few hours while my mind buzzes with the list of medicines.. this for him, this for her.

The kids have been unwell :-(. Hrit with his wheeze, Naisha with an stomach upset… one reason why I haven’t been blogging as fequently as I like to.

They are much better now. With Naisha at school, Hrit settled down for some TV and I scooted off to the computer for a post on ‘Me time’.. how appropriate.

There was a time when “me time” meant simply curling up and going off to sleep. A nuclear family and The Husband busy warding off a bunch of workaholic Koreans at his new job, meant the kids’ responsibility was all mine, despite a battery of maids.

As they started sleeping through the night, sanity returned. However, they remained a handful (still are!). But I managed to squeeze in some time for my favourite activities. It wasn’t easy always… but I did. Look how determined I am …

That’s me in the green T reading my book while the kids keep
themselves busy.

Naisha’s decided to sit on me while Hrit piles up all the sheets
and pillows he can find. I persevere with my book 🙂

A bit dark in there, but I can still read.

The wierd part is, for the life of me, I can’t remember what I was reading.

Anyway, by the time they turned two, things were looking up even more. Their post bath nap time became ‘me time’ spent at the gym. The mid-morning slot is still my gym time. I fought hard to get them to bed early.. first 9.30 and then when they gave up their siesta, 9 pm. 9-11 continue to be my happy hours for blogging or, guiltily enough, watching mindless television.

I try to squeeze in at least one of my favourite activities every day — reading, writing or gymming – and my day is complete. It also saves me from drowning in self pity and getting cranky.

Now that the kids have started full day school it’s becoming easier to find time for myself. The trouble is there are just too many things I like to do. Other than the three favourites, I enjoy crafting with the kids or pottering about in the kitchen, rearranging the house, meeting friends, long walks, carrom with the kids…

Too much to do, too little time!

Happy birthdays are made of these

Happy birthdays are made of these

10 things that make a perfect birthday

1. A late lazy morning and waking up to a phone call from home, then another one from an old old friend, then another one and another and another…..
2. Birthday wishes from the kids accompanied by a big hug and countless kisses. They then follow it up by popping out from unexpected places throughout the day with a “Happy birthday mama”.
3. The maid comes in time.
4. The kids behave themselves.
5. The Husband remembers your birthday and gets the most gorgeous chocolate chip cake ever.. muah.
6. Friends drop in bringing along plenty of laughs.. and a scrumptious cake too… yes one more.
7. Lots of flowers that you didn’t buy yourself.
8. A few thoughtful gifts which also haven’t been bought by yourself.
9. Good food obviously not cooked by yourself.
10. A gift hamper full of goodies from the daughter.. Check out what it had…

The hamper

A pearl flower saved from a Diwali gift box

A pink ribbon.. must have for a girl

‘Perfume’ which was actually some flower petals in a
dessert glass

A single rose bouquet

A favourite Mc Donald toy she gave up for me

 Can one ask for more?

Technology Troubles

Technology Troubles

What do you call a person who kills gadgets? You know how some people have a ‘black-thumb’ for plants? I wasn’t sure that was a valid word either, but it is. I checked. If you haven’t been to urbandictionary.com before, do check it out. It’s a delightful site.

But I digress.. like I was saying, I am that person for gadgets. The Shiva of gadgets, as it were.

One laptop, three cameras, an MP3 player, a desktop and countless countless phones have met a silent end over the last few years. I’m not even counting things like headphones and remotes. Oh and some time back I blew up the microwave by trying to boil an egg in it.

I am ably assisted by my bachchas, of course. Anything that I miss, they demolish with elan. The latest victim of my anti-technology rampage was my phone, yet again. I was in despair thinking I’d be saddled with The Husband’s age old stand by, which is a bit of a tragedy. Like my sister puts it… It’s just a phone.. no mail, no music, no browser. What’s more, every few hours it feels overworked hangs itself.

The Husband, as always, came to my rescue, turning generous when I least expect him to, and got me a new phone. A pink phone, to Naisha’s complete delight. And just as I was gushing out my thank yous he said, “Now don’t expect anything for your birthday.” A Husband can’t change his spots.

What was even better Naisha made me a phone holder..

It had to be pink to match my phone
and she demonstrates how it’s to be carried.
 

 Happiness!

Some good, some bad!

Some good, some bad!

This week’s been nothing if not eventful. Pretty unbelievable things have happened — at least one of them was super nice and the other super sad.

The nice one first (for no reason other than it happened first). The Husband took leave!!! Just like that!!! And if you knew him at all you’d find those exclamation marks justified. This my friends is as earth shattering as it can get. In the one and half decade of knowing him he’s never done this… to take leave to be home… unbelievable.

The thing is he only recently found out that casual leaves lapse at the end of the year. Don’t be surprised, that’s symptom no 5 of a crazed workaholic. Anyway so he took leave and we went for a film, just the two of us… another not-done-in-over-7years-thing. The film, English Vinglish was wonderful, but of course you all know that by now. A must watch.

Just as I was gushing at how wonderful it was and how we should do this more often, The Husband promptly clarified that this new film-watching-him was not a permanent phenomenon, “Next film, next year,” he pronounced. Talk about enthusiasm (or lack of it)!

Now for the bad – I missed the children’s Sports Day! Just missed it. I’m still wondering how I could let that happen. There was no information, other than on the school website which I haven’t been able to access since the start of the session despite repeated meeting with their IT department. I’ve been depending on a friend to forward all notices to me and .. well … she didn’t. By the time she found out and called me, feeling very very guilty, it was too late.

Hrit was down with an upset stomach so he’d have missed it anyway but Naisha was there and The Husband could have gone to cheer her. I did drag a recovering Hrit and reached the school but it was all over. :-(((( . I’ve been feeling bad bad bad.

What was worse, Naisha came back and said, “Many children who didn’t win the race cried, mama, but I didn’t yet teacher thought I was crying.” Which, of course, means she did cry. I so wish I’d been there. Worse still, she uttered not a word of reproach. She makes it a point to look out for us at school events. However, when The Husband called to ask her how it went.. she said, “I didn’t win the race and Hrit wasn’t well so mama couldn’t come.” How sensible is that!

I’ll wrap up with a word of apology for peppering the post with exclamation marks. Not that I have anything against them, it’s just that they’re misused and overused and misused some more so much that I’ve had more than enough of them. However, bear with me just this time.