Open House Archives - Obsessivemom

03/12/201215/04/2017

A budding reader and a know-it-all

Open house day at school is always an eye opener. Sitting across the table with the teachers each time we wonder, “Are we talking about the same child?” This year was no different.

Naisha got a relatively clean chit. She just needs some help with reading and spellings. That is pretty much down my alley. We went out and bought some new books (even though there’s a host of them at home) because we have a rule here, “koi bhi shubh kaam ke pehele paise kharch karne chahiye, kaam achchha hota hai“. And so Naisha’s reading me a Dora story bit by very small bit every day. I don’t want to push her and put her off reading completely so we’re going at her pace.

How else can I help her? Any suggestions?

Next stop.. Hrit. On a positive note his mirror image writing is almost gone… just a bit of b and d remain to be sorted. Thank the Lord.

Now for the not so good. Apparently Hrit suffers from the ‘I-know-everything’ syndrome. For instance, even if the teacher tells him a spelling he likes to go with his own version, based strictly on phonetics. The dear boy has no clue about the vagaries of the English language. He refuses to listen to the teacher following his own pace, preferring to be ahead of the class. If everyone’s supposed to do two pages, he likes to do four… even if they haven’t been taught, even if he’s not clear how they’re supposed to be done. He’s a man in a hurry. And if his neighbour is ahead of him.. he pretty much freaks out.. right or wrong.. he needs to finish before everyone else in class. Man in a hurry, for sure.

I have been talking to him about the advantages of listening, of being right rather than being first. However, I suspect I’m not doing a very good job because he came home today, yet again, with his homework all done.. done pretty shabbily but done nonetheless.

This is something I’m not sure I know how to handle. Suggestions?

**********

That could be me

The other day we got talking about newspapers and I told the kids I used to work with one long long ago. I reminisced about the night shifts and coming home in the early hours of the morning. Naisha nodded very sagely and said, “Yes mama you must have had to wake up very early to deliver papers to so many houses.”

Nothing like kids to keep you grounded.

21/08/201115/04/2017

Open House at school

Open House Day.. their first in this class and I was curious and a little anxious.. not about their academic performance, that doesn’t worry me yet, but I like to see that they’re bonding with their teacher. I’d hate it if they are lost in the crowd of students, if they have no connection with their teacher, if they get comments like “She/He is quiet, conscientious, hardworking.” Please… it’s just such a dull, average kind of feedback, the kind of thing a teacher says when she doesn’t really notice/know the child.

I don’t know if I’m making any sense but I hope the kids are a visible presence in their class. Of course I’m here to encourage each ability they have but school brings out different sides of children’s personalities. I need the teacher, to do her bit too.. to notice something I might have missed… to encourage them at something they’re good at. I’d hate it if their pluses are hidden behind that ‘quiet, shy child thing’.. gosh I hope they’re never quiet… even if their teacher and I nurse permanent headaches.

Thankfully the school has a policy of 25 – 30 children in each class with two teachers… so the child is not ignored. They got fairly good feedback.

Hrit first…

While I was worried about Hrit’s ‘mirror image’ reading and writing,… he often reads and writes English like Urdu, the teacher said it was a common problem.. so one sigh of relief. Then his speech is not very clear and I’ve been toying with the idea of going to a speech therapist for the past one year.. the teacher said vis a vis the class she hadn’t noticed anything significant.. so second sigh of relief. She had issues with his eyesight.. he reads with his nose in his book and can’t see the blackboard and looks with one eye sometimes. I had already taken him for an eyetest a few days back so I hope that would be taken care of too.

Academically he’s doing wonderfully, is genuinely interested in everything academic, loves to study.. yes study.. where did he come from, I wonder sometimes.

.. then Naisha

And then there’s Naisha. She’s really not into studies but she does enough to get by. She makes an effort to do well not out of a love for learning like Hrit but because she hates to leave a bad impression and loves to be the teacher’s pet. She got a decent review thanks to her ability to talk… now that’s my daughter… well spoken, articulate, she knows what she wants.. those are the things the teacher said. In fact Naisha has always spoken well and clearly. Perhaps that is why Hrit seems like he needs help. Anyway, I’ve decided to give him some more time before I go to a specialist.

On the whole not bad at all.

The Husband at Open House

The Husband had come along… in fact he has been coming along for the past few times. I like the way we have two completely different takes on issues. Each time we sit with their teachers my question is ‘What are their weak areas? Where can they improve?” While his question is, “What are their strong points that we can encourage further.” He does surprise me still, sometimes. I have to admit I liked the positivity of his perspective.

Finally some shopping

At each Open House Scholastic puts up a book exhibition and the kids get to shop. The Husband and Hrit have been bonding over the Solar System these days so Hrit picked a book on planets. After Sharks and Bugs this is his new passion. He knows all of them.. the smallest, the largest, the shiniest.

Naisha is always lost when it comes to choosing something for herself. She takes ages.. yes ages to pick a simple toy. She just cannot make up her mind. She looked at scores of books and in true womanly fashion, was completely blissfully oblivious to the two men getting restless by the minute. Finally she settled on a ‘Princess – Things to Make and Do’ kind of a book and we all sighed with relief.

Right brain left brain

Come evening and I sat Naisha down with her homework.. which Hrit had already completed. The Husband disappeared in the study with Hrit to read his newest buy with him. Anxious that Naisha would lose out on her share of gyan I told The Husband to read the book to her too after she’d finished with her homework. However, “No more planets, mama’, she declared with finality, “I’m going to do some drawing.” And that was that. I’m reconciling myself to a scientific, academic son and an artistic daughter.

Really, God believes in variety.. not just did he give me a boy and girl he made them as different as he possibly could.

A good day.. Saturday.

22/03/201115/04/2017

Oh for a peek!

Hey Q .. I need you to design a special gadget for me. This one will be tougher than anything you ever designed for the Bond man. I need one that would let me look inside the heads of my children. Who ever said children were simple and uncomplicated never did have children. Mine are just getting set to be five and already there are times I feel out of depth. I wish I understood them better……….

Pic courtesy Google pics

Bad night!
I started writing this post after a bad night a few days back when Hrit cried at hourly intervals till the wee hours. He was thrashing around restlessly and talking in his sleep but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. All I could make out was Naisha’s name. After he fell asleep I kept wondering…. What is going on in his mind? Is he having nightmares? What is bringing on these nightmares? I wished I knew. Earlier in the evening one of the older kids gave out a ‘ghost’ scare in a dark corner near the building lift. Naisha was incredibly cool about the whole thing but Hrit’s reaction was way too extreme. He panicked. He insisted we collect Naisha and go home immediately. Nothing I said made him feel better and he spent the rest of the evening sitting with me on the bench. I wondered whether that had come back to ‘haunt’ him.

.. and then the Open House
Then we went for their Open House on Saturday and the need for that device has suddenly become much greater. Naisha’s teacher had a revelation for me. Said she, “The other day I drew a sad face and Naisha made a sentence.. “When mama gets sweets of my brother’s choice that’s how I feel.” She went on to suggest that maybe Naisha was getting less than her share of attention. That was my ‘O My God’ moment.

Am I being fair?
Since the kids were born I was paranoid about not distributing my attention equally between them. Being on my own didn’t make it easy .. I hated handing over one child to the maid during meal and sleep times. When they were babies Hrit was the sick one and obviously I spent more time with him. Yet I was very conscious of it and made sure I spent time with Naisha too. As they grew up and Hrit’s wheezing became less frequent things became better. It’s been a long time now since I gave this issue a thought and now this.

To begin with the ‘sweet’ thing is just not true. However I am trying to look beyond the statement.

Hrit remains to be more clingy of the two and still hangs around me. Naisha on the other hand is more gregarious and is often playing with friends while Hrit is at home. When I go to the market it’s Hrit who wants to tag along while Naisha chooses to stay with her friends. Hey come to think of it… it is I who should be complaining of not getting enough of her attention!
There ARE a lot of things I do with Naisha only.. crafts, drawing, painting.. Hrit makes an obligatory presence but she’s the one really interested.

So I’m not completely convinced. Yet I do understand that I might lack perspective when it comes to the kids because I’m so deeply involved with them. Certain issues might be more clearly visible to an observant and concerned outsider. I give the teacher’s observation credit. I do realize that…

Naisha loves being the centre of attention and needs more attention than most kids not just from me but from everyone. She loves being ‘special’.
Also, I have to admit that Naisha is an easy child to take for granted. If both of them are clamouring for my attention, she is the one to say “okay mama you can listen to Hrit bhai first.” And I accept that. Was that unfair? Yes, now I think so. Maybe she was giving in only for my approval (oh yes she does a lot of things to prove herself a ‘good girl’) but wasn’t really happy doing it. Sigh! Well… no more taking her for granted, ever.

Am I reading too much in a simple incident? Maybe, but it’s better this way.

Q, do you see now how desperately I need that device?

This is just the beginning. It’s going to get worse as they grow older and get better at hiding their thoughts and feelings. How will I figure them out then? Will I know how to help them? Is there really something like a ‘mother’s’ intuition which will come to my rescue? Do I have it at all? You see Mr Q how easy you can make my life if you help me out here?

Meanwhile, in case Mr Q fails me, Hrit Naisha, here’s a request — Keep us in the loop please. Even though we might seem like antiquated fuddy duddies we will try really hard to understand you. If you feel we’re messing up, losing touch, being unfair …. let us know. Like this time I promise to give your thoughts, feelings and beliefs as much importance as my own.