Tag: friends

If we were having coffee … 2

If we were having coffee … 2

If we were having coffee I’d probably be gushing today because I’m H.A.P.P.Y. You’d have to struggle to get in a word but you might as well give up because I’m too excited to let you have your turn. And then when you’d throw up your hands in despair because I wouldn’t be making any sense in my eagerness to explain, I’d calm down enough to tell you that I was  going on a holiday… with friends… just us.

Our coffees would lie untouched as I’d go on about how excited I was because it was the very first time I was doing this in ten whole years – since I had the kids. The only other time I travelled without them was for my sister’s surgery so that didn’t really count (even though it turned out to be a kind of a Roman Holiday for me).

And no matter how much you rolled your eyes (because you’re the cool, calm, collected kind of friend) or tried to say it wasn’t a big deal my spirits would refuse to dampen because it was a big deal.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you of the crazy bunch I’m going with. How one was only thinking about the clothes she’d carry and the pictures we’d click while the other couldn’t stop dreaming of strawberries and cream. And I’d tell you how all I was looking forward to was a clean quiet room to revel in for one whole day.

‘Drink your coffee’, you’d say and then proceed to ask How? What about the kids? And a tiny line of worry would probably cloud my forehead as I’d reach for my coffee and, even though I was feeling a tad unsure, I’d tell you they were well looked after in my absence. As I assured you I’d probably be reassuring myself too.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you about my SIL who had volunteered to take care of the kids. And then as I would think of her calm smiling face the worry lines would melt because I know she’s good with them. She’d make sure N had a tiffin of her choice, she’d run after H mock threatening to embarrass him by hugging him as she dropped him off to school, she’d pamper them silly and they’d probably think I was back too soon.

And as I tell you this I’d fill up with gratitude for a wonderfully supportive family; for having people in my life who step in to lend a hand without my asking; who brush away my guilt trips with their no-nonsense talk.

I’d tell you how grateful I was for the way the kids had handled it with N making me promise to send her selfies ‘on Bua’s phone’ while H had sacrificed a birthday party without much of a tantrum.

As we would drain our cups I’d feel better for having talked to you, for having aired my worries and chased them away. And I’d tell you how grateful I was to have you to share my joys and sorrows always.


The Koyri girl

The Koyri girl

I have a friend, a friend called ~G. Funny name I know, specially that thingie before her initial. God knows it took me ages to find that on my tablet. 

I ‘met’ her first when she dropped by my blog commenting on some silly H and N antic and telling me she was a masi to a similar munchkin. She stuck when I read her post on how she’d given up watching the tele and was putting her time to better use, leaving me awed and inspired.
But that was nothing compared to what I felt when I found what she was doing with her time. Check these out…

She is the Koyri girl.

When she turned entrepreneur with this venture guess who was one of her customers? Yeah Moi! 

She’s fun and smart and oh so creative. The specialest thing about her creations is the ‘you’ that you find in them. If you have a dress and have gone crazy trying to find a pair of matching earrings – she’ll make them for you. See a design and don’t know where to find it? She’ll make that too. Your friend wants it in another colour? Done!

Do check out her creations online here.

#Microblog Mondays – Of Friends and Fitting in

#Microblog Mondays – Of Friends and Fitting in

A few weeks back as the twins were recovering from viral fever, they sat down to craft gifts for their teachers. H came up with this tippy-tippy-top flower for his teacher. He spent some time painstakingly making and colouring it, no mean achievement given that he’s not such a pro at either.

He put it away safely in his cupboard waiting to get well so he could take it to school. Then  his friend dropped by. He looked at the ‘flower’, examined it and asked, ‘What is this?’ I was waiting for H to proudly declare ‘I made this for my teacher’. To my complete surprise he replied, ‘Oh this? It’s just something my sister made. I don’t know why she left it in my cupboard.’

If only he understood what his
favourite author said!

He was embarrassed to admit he’d made it!! 

I cannot tell how saddened I am. 
Long long back when he was a toddler he asked me for a kitchen set. He loves to cook. He used to take it down to play. Then one day he told me, “I’ll play with my kitchen set only at home.” And then slowly he gave it up altogether. 

Of course that might have been a sign of changing interests, which would have been fine. But this, seems like pure peer pressure. My son is growing up and trying to ‘fit in’ and I’m scared. Not that he might not fit in, but that he might lose himself while trying to do so.

A big talk is in order! Any ideas how to go about it?

Linking to # Microblog Mondays hosted by Stirrup Queens.

Of Best Friends and Heartbreak

Of Best Friends and Heartbreak

Hrit cried before he went to sleep today. Not wailed like a baby but cried softly like a grown up. It absolutely broke my heart. His best pal, Y, is moving. Yes, right he’s the one Hrit wanted to marry and live happily ever after with.

When Y’s mum first told me about the move I didn’t worry. He’s just a child, I’d thought, he’ll forget. But now, as the day of departure dawns, I find myself worried sick.

Hrit is not a gregarious child. He has always had just one friend. Each time we’ve moved he’s made a single friend and stuck with him. All his emotional ‘eggs’, he keeps in a single basket and I’m beggining to think that’s not such a good thing.

Digital bonding
Hrit and Y spend hours at the comp without a fight.. rare for any two kids and even more rare for two super active kids like these two. “They understand each other,” said Y’s mum laughingly one day. If Y gets upset Hrit runs after him calling him back.

Wired together
“Mama today Y and I said the same thing, together,” gushed Hrit one day. “Funny na?” “I think there’s a wire between us.. him and me,” said Hrit touching his heart. “Wire?” I queried taken aback. “Yes .. the kind that are at the back of the computer,” he clarified. Oh he knew exactly what he was saying. Never had I hear such a filmi line uttered with such innocence and such sincerity.

The FAQs
“Mama may I go to Y’s house/call Y over?” are Hrit’s most frequently asked questions. One day fed up with those two questions I said, “Fine, you go to Hyderabad with Y when he shifts,” and regretted it soon enough when after mulling it over Hrit queried back, “May I? Really?” Of late his question has changed to, “May I stay in Lucknow forever?” At least he has his cousins there. Then today it was back to, “May I go to Hyderabad?”

Each time I’ve tried to prepare Hrit for Y’s departure he has only said, “I know he’s going but when is he coming back?” I’ve chickened out of saying, “Never” sticking with, “after a long long time.”

As I write this, I’m hoping fervently and telling myself for the nth time, “He’s just a child he’ll forget.”

Afterthought: MM (Mushy Mum) says maybe that idea of  not letting kids make ‘best friends’ wasn’t so bad after all.

Your best friend is injurious to your health

Your best friend is injurious to your health

Picture courtesy Google

That’s what some UK schools seem to be saying.

I came across this innocuous little piece in the Pune Mirror this morning, sourced from The Sun. Some schools in the UK are banning children from having ‘best’ friends. Instead, the kids are being encouraged to play in groups.

Their logic: Protecting kids from heartbreak resulting from fights with best friends.

Ridiculous or what? And how very manipulative.

Who knows Indian schools might be gearing up to follow suit. In fact I find the practise of shuffling sections each year quite strange. To me it seems a very unsettling idea for the kids. Oh yes I understand the whole thing of letting them mix around but changing sections each year means they have no permanent friends. How healthy is that?

Don’t some of our best childhood memories include that one ‘Best friend’? — the one who’s watches your back while you pick raw mangoes or ber (or amlas), the one who warns you of the teacher’s approach while you’re busy mimicking her, the one who home delivers notes when you miss a class and the one who braves your mum when she refuses permission for a night out. Life without a best friend? What life would that be?

As for heartbreak.. well the sooner kids learn about it the better they get at handling it. Besides what about values like commitment, sharing and standing up for someone — values that a best friend teaches you best? Most importantly, what about love? About learning to love someone with passion, with deep feeling, that comes from years of shared togetherness?

Kids will end up with a scores of acquaintances, who they’ll term ‘friends’ without understanding what a true friend is. Sad.

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