Obsessivemom

11/01/2018

The Hugging Trees #ThursdayTreeLove

We found these trees in Lucknow’s Lohia Park while we were there this summer. Can you see there are two of them? I loved the way they seemed to be hugging each other, so close that one can barely make out which is which.

The trees capture the essence of my hometown which is a perfect blend of religions and cultures and languages, merging them all inextricably in its famed ganga-jamuni tehzeeb.

The park is absolutely delightful and I wish it were closer to where we live but we do make it point to go there at least once during our visit.

That’s all from me for now. I’ve been unable to write anything at all this past fortnight. I seem to be suffering from some kind of blog-existential-angst. However, I do know I’ll get around it sooner rather than later.

Till then, you guys have a good weekend.

Linking up with Parul’s #ThursdayTreeLove

01/01/201803/01/2018

Health and fitness goals

There’s something positive and happy and hopeful about a new year, isn’t there? There’s something about the promise of a new beginning that fills one with optimism.

As 2017 drew to a close I found myself not in the best of spirits. I found the mandatory year-end post quite a drag, I didn’t do a gratitude post, nor did I feel like making any resolutions. I seem to end up breaking them anyway. I just felt too old for all the end-of-the-year hype. The Husband was supposed to leave late last night just before we ushered in the new year, perhaps that had something to do with it. But that was yesterday.

Before the day ended he had managed an extra day’s leave, then his flight was delayed and he booked himself into one for the next day which meant we could spend New Year’s Eve together and that kind of lifted all our spirits. Today, I find myself planning plans and thinking thoughts – good ones.

And I have a resolution, a focus point so to say, for 2018. This year it has to be health and fitness that’s top priority. And I have a plan.

Here it is…

First up on the cards is a medical checkup. I’ve been putting it off for months, over a year actually. I’ve realised that no diet-exercise plan is going to work if my bones aren’t in proper order. So a check up and required corrective medicines/measures is the first step.
I find I can no longer exercise as I once used to. So moderate exercise is what I’m looking at, hopefully twice a day. That’s optimistic I know, but I’m going to try.
Yoga might not excite me much but I shall continue with it thrice a week for the peace of mind it offers.
I’ll take up Zumba twice a week for the pure fun of it, for a month to begin with. If I find I cannot sustain it, I’ll substitute it with a 5km walk.
As I grow older diet shall play a far greater role in fitness than exercise. Since I’ve always relied rather heavily on the latter, that needs to change. Which is why I’m looking at expert guidance to make a start and consulting a dietician is on the cards, but that’ll be after I sustain my fitness routine for a month.

I do realise I need to have other goals for writing, reading and self-improvement. However, I’m not too good a multitasker and so for now it is health that will be my focus.

And I shall have a quarterly review

I love Shantala’s idea of goal-setting and quarterly reviews. You might like to hop across to her blog to see what a wonderful job she does. Prompted by her I’ll do a quarterly review to see where I stand.

I’ve been subconsciously mulling over all of this for some time. But in the absence of a plan, I didn’t make much headway. It does feel good to have written it all down and I hope to follow it through. I’d love your support and suggestions.

Meet me on facebook at obsessivemom06 or follow me on twitter at @obsessivemom06 or at instagram also at obsessivemom06.

I’m terrible at managing social media accounts but it does help increase accountability and I hope to have regular updates.

What’s your focus this year? Does health and fitness factor in? Or do you already have a routine going? Do share it here so I can take a tip or two.

19/12/201720/12/2017

A loaf of bread and a lesson on ‘receiving’

The other day a friend of mine, who is taking baby steps in baking, got me a freshly baked loaf of bread. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am exceptionally fortunate when it comes to friends.

I’d have been fine with a slice or two, but she insisted I keep the entire loaf, ‘I baked it specially for the children,’ said she. I felt a little awkward but she insisted. After a bit of a back and forth and a promise that she’d charge me for it I accepted, with a heartfelt thank you. ‘I hope the children enjoy it,’ she added giving me a hug.

We are all a little awkward when it comes to receiving, aren’t we? I know I am. It’s like an obligation which, I feel, I have to repay. That’s the way I was brought up. The idea was ‘If you cannot repay a favour, don’t accept it.’

I grew up meticulously keeping hisaab, refusing favours and always remembering to give back if I did accept something. Receiving made me uncomfortable, a little smaller, perhaps.

We talk of giving all the time and I’m all for it, but isn’t receiving an equally important aspect? There has to be a balance of come kind, I presume. After all there can be no giving without receiving.

Five ways receiving enriches your life Share on X

Here are five ways receiving enriches your life

You form an instant connection. Accept a favour and see how quickly you form a bond with the giver.
You give the other person the chance to feel good about themselves. Isn’t that just wonderful? That you’re bringing happiness to someone?
Oh and conversely, you feel good about yourself too. The fact that someone wants to give you something reinforces your sense of self. After all who would want to give something to someone they don’t quite like?
You learn humility because you’re accepting a favour.
And you learn gratitude.

As moms, parents, adults we are used to giving all the time. It would do us good to sit back and receive for a change. So all of you out there:

Receive help. Ask for it and accept it with gratitude.
Receive compliments. A simple thank you without putting yourself down does it.
Receive gifts, yeah why not?

Accept, without any thought of paying back, simply with an open heart full of gratitude and nothing else.

PS: In case you were wondering, the bread was absolutely scrumptious – soft, flavourful and ‘cinnamony’ with a mild sweetness and nuts and raisins that sprung a delicious surprise in each bite.

Perfect!

#MondayMusings at Everyday Gyan

and with #ChattyBlogs from Shanaya Tales

15/12/201719/05/2023

If we were having coffee I’d be talking of tea #InternationalTeaDay

If we were having coffee together..

I’d tell you that I’m not really a coffee person at all. It’s tea that floats my boat. When I wake up in the morning, after I put the children to bed, when I want to hang out with friends, even when I’m bored – it’s a hot cup of tea I reach out for.

Coffee is a little like a chic new friend – the one whose company I enjoy when I’m in the right mood, the one I like to hang out with at restaurants and cafes, the one I like to have around with a plateful of large chocolate chip cookies, a trifle overpriced but delicious.

Coffee, to me, is like a chic new friend while tea is an age-old chum. Share on X

Tea, on the other hand is a familiar childhood chum. Our friendship began long ago, when my grandmom first spiked my milk with it, behind my mother’s back. I don’t know if it was the tea or the thrill of having outsmarted my mother but the glass of milk went down in a single breath. Many more followed over the years.

If we were having coffee…

I’d tell you of the long dark nights when exam anxiety hung upon me like an ominous cloud. It was the hot mug of ginger tea that sat by my side reassuringly, keeping the sleep monster at bay.

I’d tell you of long days at work when the daily deadline loomed close and the right words eluded me. That tiny glass of kadak cutting chai the canteen boy got me was enough to rejuvenate my creativity.

Oh and how I could I not tell you about the kullhad-wali railway platform chai? I’d tell you of freezing mornings, as I sat bundled up on my berth, with daggers in my throat from the perpetual infection that dogged me through winter. As the train would chug into Delhi station, there really wasn’t any sound sweeter than that of ‘Chaaaeee Garam’. A sip from that kullhad felt as deliciously warm as my mother’s hug, the one I had just left behind.

If we were having coffee

I’d tell you I wasn’t quite sure I liked this new trend of tea going hip – changing colour from a comfortable familiar brown to black and white, green and yellow. I’d wonder why it should feel the need to move from dhabas and canteens to insanely overpriced, stupidly urban tea lounges and tea rooms.

We’d wonder together, you and I.

Perhaps it just got tired of being slotted as the poor roadside cousin of Starbucks and Barista, I’d muse. Perhaps it was its quest for respect, because sometimes being loved isn’t enough. You’d laugh at me for getting sentimental about a cup of tea and I’d laugh along too.

But it’s true, I’d insist.

As for me, I wouldn’t spare a glance for the Chai Lattes as long as I had my hot cup of ginger cardamom tea with a couple of rusks. And I’d ask you your favourite chai memory. Was it on a cool rainy day or a hot summer evening that you fell in love with it?

12/12/201712/12/2017

Can a parent ever let go?

This past week, in a bit of a coincidence, I’ve stumbled across multiple stories from friends – children and parents – who’ve disagreed with each other over important life-decisions like the choice of career or life partner.

It’s heartbreaking – this disagreeing with people closest to you, this not being able to understand each others thoughts and motivations.

Desperate children have been driven to the brink of suicide because they haven’t found it in their hearts to rebel. When I was younger I’d wonder why parents wouldn’t let them learn from their own mistakes. It seemed like such a logical thing to do.

As a mom now, I am no longer so certain. My children seem such a part of me, like a physical living part of my body, my heart, that it seems only natural to reach out and stop them, protect them from making mistakes. Separating myself from them seems the hardest thing I will ever need to do.

I wonder where I will find the courage to let them do something that, to my mind, is clearly a disaster. Would I be okay if they left the tried and tested to strike out on an unknown journey? Would I be okay, for instance, if one of them chose a career in music over academics, or would want to try their luck in Bollywood or strike out in the jungles as a photographer?

Would I be able to let them go? And yet be ready to have their back should they fail? Without a hint of ‘I told you so’? And then when they’re back up on their feet, would I be ready to let them make their next mistake? Be ready to have their back yet again?

It’s not going to be easy.

As I’ve grown older, possibly wiser, I’ve known some people who rebelled against their parents and found happiness. Some didn’t. Some heeded their advice and found happiness, others didn’t.

The thing is, one never can tell with life.

While children follow their passion, parents have to be the voice of reason. Share on X

Ever so slowly, I hope they learn to balance their passion with reason, on their own. And I hope I’m around till they learn to do that. As their parent if I’m even writing this post, thinking I will have to let them go someday, it’s a step forward.

Meanwhile I make this promise to myself..

that I shall keep an open mind and respect their wish to follow their passion.

that I shall always always place their happiness above societal pressures – a lesson gifted to me by my parents.

and most of all, I will never close the doors of communication.

And I hope when the time comes, the children will give me and my concerns a patient hearing. And then, if they choose to go ahead despite it all, I shall find the courage to stand by them.

***********

Linking up with Mackenzie at Reflections from Me #mg

And with #Tweens,Teens & Beyond