A grown up girl and an affectionate boy

It’s been quite a trial putting up with embarrassing questions asked brazenly by Hrit and Naisha with total disregard of who is present. However Naisha’s finally growing up. Today on the way to school, a friend of hers was walking down with his dad while Hrit and Naisha were with me. Naisha asked me sotto voce, “Mujhe bhi apne papa ke saath school jana hai.” Two things struck me one, Sunil needs to spend more time with the kids and two, Naisha’s learning to be discreet.

Okay and here’s a tale about my other one.. Hrit… We were in a lift full of people (carpenters and construction people among other mothers and their kids) on our way back from school. Suddenly in a fit of affection Hrit says LOUDLY, “Mama I want to kiss your stomach,” totally completely out of the blue. And there I was struggling with him to keep my shirt in place because obviously Hrit followed his words with immediate action.

Whoever said twins were alike?

To be or not to be a Lakhnawi

It’s a norm to start every piece on Lucknow’s tehzeeb with the famous ‘Pehele Aap’ story of the nawabs who missed their train. I’ll spare you that one because I have one of my own. The other day my three year old, in a very philosophical mood said, “Mama agar Seeta ji ‘nice’ thi toh usne Ravan ko kyon kaha ‘chhod de mujhe’ ‘chhod dijiye’ kehna tha.”

I started to explain to her that when you’re really really angry you can give language a small tiny break. After all their have been times when I’ve used the ‘f’ word.. under my breath of course… or the ‘b’ word more than once when a malicious youngster has driven my Activa almost off the road.

However, I remember another story about a Lakhnawi professor who even under duress kept his special andaaz intact… here goes:
Two professors were having an argument which grew progressively more heated. Finally anger got the better of one of them. He stood up red faced, and shaking his fist at the other one blurted out, “kya bak rahe hain aap!” The other one, however, replied with an unruffled, “bak toh aap rahe hain janab, main toh farma raha hoon.
Cool isn’t it?

Since the day my kids have been able to talk I’ve been trying to instill this little bit of Lucknow in them even while living in Mumbai.. no I have absolutely NOTHING against Mumbai, Marathi or Mumbaikars, it’s just that the ‘tu’ doesn’t gel with me. It never did, not when I was in Delhi and not now when I’ve moved to Mumbai and the ‘tu’ has followed.

I must admit, though, 16 years out of Lucknow, I too occasionally succumb to its comfortable informality, not in anger but in affection. Yet hearing the kids use it makes me terribly uncomfortable. Besides, I wouldn’t dream of using it with my parents.

But why just corner the ‘tu’, there are many more irritants. The ‘fan chalu kar’ makes me cringe and my little one is quick to point out ‘chalu toh naughty hota hai.. on kariye bolna chahiye’. Good going kiddo! Then there’s the ‘Khana fridge mein pada hai’… ‘Khana rakha jata hai’ for Godsake!

And there’s the ‘barabar hai’ for ‘theek hai’. I could never stop myself from retorting ‘kiske barabar?’ and have sometimes left the recipient of my wisecrack quite clueless. Oh and I’ve had my share of ribbing too when I’d say ‘hum aa gaye’ and I get a ‘tum aur koun?’ from my Maharashtrian friends.

For now the kids have picked up well enough. However with influence from school I do overhear the odd ‘dekh bhai’ and I cannot stop myself from protesting even though I realise it’s a losing battle. Heck no.. it isn’t. I’m not giving up completely, not so easily.
I’ll settle for a compromise.. Kids if you can stick with the ‘aap’ and the ‘lijiye dijiye’ with me and the elders, I’ll leave you in peace with your ‘tu’ and even maybe your ‘majha tujha’. There now, you can’t accuse me of being too severe.

Boys will be boys

Hrit was spilling water the other day and here’s what Naisha had to say to him:

‘Arre paani mat spill kariye..main phisal jaaungi toh mera head broke ho jayega aur phir aapke paas ek bhi sister naihn hogi itna pyar karne ke liye.’

Hrit of course, in true insensitive male tradition, was hardly moved by this emotional appeal. He proceeded to promptly thwack her on the head with his badminton racket. Yes Nisha.. in case you’re reading .. this is the same racket you gifted him for Christmas, thank you.

An old story I forgot to tell

Damn Damn Damn … it’s Hrit Naisha’s first day of school after month-long Diwali vacations and I’ve forgotten to put back their report cards in their bags.
Mess up number two: Even when the school shut Naisha’s sports skirt had become much too short for her and I forgot to get her a new one… Tomorrow is sports day and she/I will be in deep s*** if she isn’t able to wear it to school. The dress shop is all the way in Borivali! Damn.
But wait… it’s just school… so what if I send their report cards a day late?? So what if Naisha’s sent back for not wearing the right dress from school? It’s just ONE day among hundreds and hundreds that she WILL go properly dressed. Why oh why does a single mess up fill me with SUCH dread?
It’s almost like I’m back in school and worrying obsessively about whether I have my badge and ribbon, whether I’ve cut my nails, whether I’ve got the right time table… worry worry worry! I remember carrying ALL my books to school every day rather than going by the timetable for fear of being punished if I left a particular book home. Now, I’ve transferred that same anxiety to Hrit Naisha’s school.
Well part of it is because there ARE mothers who NEVER mess up, mothers who are contemptuous and unforgiving of others who do. And of course part of it is simply my overanxious personality. Anyway.. the worry here is not ME, but Hrit and Naisha.. I do NOT want to transfer my anxiety to them.. I do NOT want them carrying a truckload of books to school everyday like their chump of a mom. I want their school days to be carefree and fun. Yet I’d like them to respect school rules and be ‘good’ children. Oh for a balance!
Well for starters….. I need to stop obsessing about their school. I need to remember it’s THEIR school NOT mine. And, for now, I simply need to concentrate on making them conscious of school rules. Later perhaps I’ll need to tell them it’s not the end of the world if you do make a mistake. I can only hope to God they manage to strike a balanceIf I could, I would sweep off all anxieties and pains from their lives… but I guess I’ll have prepare them the best I can and will have to learn to watch them tread their paths alone, handle their apprehensions and fears on their own. And continue to pray and hope I’ve prepared them well.Epilogue: I ended up with the master of messups …. I lost their report cards… then obsessed about it for days… finally wrote in their diary and got new ones issued!!! It was that simple. The princi didn’t even call me to her office and fire me! Hah!

Red n White party

Great party. Naisha sang her heart out during the carol singing. Since I was partly responsible for the choir I had to stand with them and Hrit wrestled with me throughout the singing. I had to put up with him with a smiley christmasy face when all I was feeling like doing was giving him one solid whack. And I was singing too! Sometimes Hrit is sooo unmanageable.
He quietened down once the carols were through. Then Santa came on… Hrit and Naisha are still a bit scared of him, so they refused to even shake hands even while the other kids were completely mobbing him. After a looooong time Naisha gathered the courage to shake hands and then Hrit followed. After that they became comfortable.
They enjoyed the dancing at the end of the party and were the ONLY good children who waited to get home to open their gifts. Keep it up kids… mwuuaah mwuuuaah. You are the best.
Another good thing… when they opened their gifts, I think for the first time, they said… ‘this is exactly what I wanted’. Thank God… Santa breathed a sigh of relief.
Naisha loved her Barbie even though it didn’t have a wand and Hrit loved his tractor trolley. Amen!