Parents’ guide to basic vocabulary

Dear parents,

The other day I was at a programme put up by the children in school. By the end of it I found just three or four parents watching it with me. The rest had either walked out already or were milling around near the exit.

For some reason that got me all worked up. I thought it was rude and impertinent. This one is for the ‘walkouters’ – a basic vocabulary guide.

To begin with, there’s this word in the English Dictionary – ETIQUETTE. Here’s what it means, and I quote: the customary code of polite behaviour in society.

You understand that? Obviously not. Had you understood even the E of Etiquette you would have known that it is rude to get up and leave in the middle of a performance, however small, however informal, however inconsequential.

You might of course have urgent business to attend to, you’re an uber busy person I know, and you have the right to leave. However, in such a case you might want to sit at the back so you can leave UNOBTRUSIVELY – you do know what that means, right? Leave in a way that is not conspicuous. Got it?

So as I was saying, you might want to leave without disturbing the tiny handful who do know what etiquette is. It is only polite to show some CONSIDERATION, another word that’s strange to you I presume. It means kindness and thoughtful regard for others. You might like to exhibit some kindness towards this tiny lot by not stepping on their toes as you walk out gushing over the performance of the apple of your eye.

There does exist, of course, the possibility of sudden unforeseen and urgent business coming up. However, chances of such business cropping up right after your own child’s two bits are done is rather remote.

There’s another word that might interest you, called DECORUM. It means behaviour in keeping with good taste and propriety. You might want to understand that word because chances are the D word is among one of the things you hope your ward will learn at school. Well how about practicing it yourself first? Or is it, that once you’ve written out that fat fee cheque you think you are absolved of all responsibility of teaching anything at all to your child? Least of all by example?

He is watching you, and learning from you remember that. So, I suggest, when you set out from home bring along with you a bagfull of PATIENCE, that’s the capacity to accept or tolerate because, the thing is, when you are invited to watch a show at the children’s school, you are invited to watch the ENTIRE show – the complete show, you understand?

Oh we know you are busy people, the rest of us of course have nothing to do but if we sat through your child’s performance it is only fair, that you sit through that of ours, that’s called RECIPROCITYthe practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit. (Oh and by the way let me clarify that one of my child wasn’t in the show at all while the other one was done way before the end.)

If you cannot spare that one hour how about letting your ward perform exclusively for you right at home? That way there’s no trouble for anyone. Brilliant idea, eh? I knew you’d agree.

Lastly, you do have the option to simply BEG OFF the occasion which means to gain permission to be excused from. Do that. Don’t come. So that the rest of us can enjoy the programme in its entirety.

Thank you,

A jobless watcher of school programmes and maker of unnecessary lists.

 

Although its parents I’ve spoken of, we stumble upon such people almost every day. So tell me which are the ones that get your blood boiling?

 

I am taking my Alexa Rank to the next level with #MyFriendAlexa and Blogchatter.

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Linking up with Mackenzie at Reflections from Me

On the field and then onstage

It was Sports Day…
.. and Naisha woke up bright and early all on her own at about 5.30. “I woke up because I have to get a medal today,” she announced. That scared me a bit but The Husband cheered her along. Sports is not really her thing. I remembered last year when she’d cried and cried because she couldn’t win a medal. We’d come home and made medals for the entire bunch of kids in the society. This time round I had prepared her a bit. “Run as fast as you can” I told her “and that will be good enough”.

She did run fast.. she reached the half way mark first where they had to wear caps. And there lay her undoing for she took ages trying to put it on perfectly and missed the medal by a whisker. To her credit she gave me the sweetest, bravest, fakest smile ever as she was being led away by her teacher but dissolved into tears when we went to pick her up.

The son is another story.. he strolled in among the last few stragglers, picking up a ‘turnip’ along the way, then walked away pretty nonchalantly least bothered about the outcome. That’s the twins for you.. never the same.

There’s Hrit walking away hands behind his back

I just wish the sports day were more interesting… I mean how many similar races can one sit through considering most parents would be waiting for just one? A drill or a march past would be a good break or maybe the races could be spiced up a bit.

In school we had real fun ones like the kids walking in their father’s shoes, or dressing themselves up for school or planting a tree.. there’s surely more to racing than running, picking up stuff and running again. Of course that’s just a thought .. the kids are small and it’s tough to to get them to do anything, I know that only too well. Maybe my memories are of later years. Must ask papa and ma what it was like.

The kids had fun for sure. The parents, however, seemed to need a lesson or two in good behaviour. It was crazy how they crowded the tracks, waved and distracted the kids, tried to talk to them and take them away early.. this despite desperate pleas by the authorities to leave the kids alone. It was most embarrassing. Talk about role models!

Then along came Annual Day
I loved the concept of the concert. A little boy roams the world in search of a hidden treasure. He meets people from various countries, learning about their cultures, dances and songs, but finds no treasure only to realise that the people of the world are the real treasure. Nice, isn’t it?

Hrit was a in a Russian dance while Naisha was in a full-on Punjabi Daler Mehendi number. Hrit is a reluctant dancer and being paired off with a girl only made it harder in his current I-hate-girls phase.

He refused to wear makeup covering his mouth and running around the house shouting ‘No No No”. Then he insisted if he wore makeup, Naisha would have to wear a moustache. So much for equality.

For Naisha of course it was a dream come true. She was getting to dance, on a stage, wear an armful of bangles, huge earrings, a long parandi and makeup too.. what more could a girl want? The makeup was fun, the only catch being she wanted to run to the dressing table after each dab….. lipstick.. run to the mirror, blusher run to the mirror, eye makeup run to the mirror,… tiring I tell you. The parandi gave me plenty of grief as I tried to fix it onto Naisha’s tiny ponytail. Finally it was all done and I left them to play while I went to dress up.

I’d barely turned my back when I heard a yell from Naisha.. I should have guessed it.. the parandi was too much of a bait for Hrit and obviously he’d pulled it off! With an eye on the clock I rushed to fix it again. Hrit was so miffed at the dressing down he just refused to go. Calling upon the gods to grant me patience I sat down to reason with him pretending I had all the time in the world. Finally I convinced him to come along with us to drop Naisha giving him the option of making up his mind along the way. Thank the Good Lord he agreed.

ALL DRESSED UP: A still grumpy Hrit and a cheery Naisha in our lobby

I rushed to make myself decent.. which essentially meant wiping off sweat and throwing on a pair of jeans and a shirt (Really, what would I do without those) and we were off.

Then the autowallah decided he needed petrol and the petrol pump happened to be in a diametrically opposite direction (thereby strengthening my resolve — must must learn to drive). Just as I giving the driver some solid khari khoti “I think I will go for the annual day,” announced Hrit. To the autowallah’s total surprise I miraculously transformed into the nice lady that I’d originally seemed to be. Kids, I tell you, can twist your moods around like nobody can. So it was that we reached school in pretty good humour.

Hrit danced well enough but with his head bent down. I love it when my naughty restless son goes all shy. I gave him a tight mental hug. Naisha was in her element. She danced like a dream – she was the best in the group – of course from a totally biased mum’s point of view. I found myself on my feet blowing kisses.

They came away completely thrilled and excited.. even Hrit who went so reluctantly. FIL, MIL, The Husband, kids and I … dinner at Kareem’s followed by ice cream… can a day be more perfect?

Vivalicious

What a happening week this has been! Monday.. the in-laws came over to the complete excitement of the kids. They cleaned their room, argued with the maid when she put something in the cupboard we’d emptied out for them, did their namastes and feet-touching with enthusiasm and generally made the grandparents feel welcome in a way only kids can.

School was suspended as they had a host of fun activities lined up. First there was Viva… which is a fun carnival with contests and workshops.. art and craft, dancing and singing, fancy dress.. it’s all there. Then the kids had their Sports Day followed by the Annual Day.

I was all excited for Viva and had thought I’d have Hrit Naisha participate in as many contests as they possibly could. However, what with the in-laws being here, me not knowing how to drive a four wheeler and The Husband all grumpy about ferrying us around because it made him a half a nanosecond late for work :-@ (that’s an angry smiley, in case you didn’t know.. hey that’s an oxymoron — angry smiley).. umm where was I? Yes.. what with all of that I barely managed to get them there.

And thus my first New Year resolution is formed.. learn to drive. Coming back — they participated in something called Recreate Picasso where they had to create a painting using colours/ paints/ glitter/ dried flowers etc. They made Christmas trees and put whatever they could find on it. They seemed to have had fun going by the glitter on their sweaters :-).

While they were at the contest I had an hour and half to kill (going and coming not being an option) and I wandered off to watch other competitions. There was one called Stories Come Alive where the a kid and parent duo had to dress up like two characters of a story. It was amazing what the parents had come up with and the enthusiasm which they participated. There was a mama Peter Pan duelling a tiny Captain Hook as well as a small Peter Pan fighting a daddy Captain Hook. A diminutive Chacha Chaudhary paired off with a daddy Sabu while a small Batman punched a huge Joker daddy right in the stomach. There was a monkey with a mama cap seller, a beautiful Rapunzel with a daddy Prince (my absolute favourite!) and of course a small Jerry with a huge Tom. Oh and how can I forget — a minuscule Cinderella with a mama Fairy God mother. The small girl, scared of the crowd, ran crying to her ‘fairy god mother’ who hugged her, twirled her around, pulled off her tattered dress to reveal a princess costume, kissed her soundly then picked her up before executing a perfect ramp walk.. totally totally endearing. I actually found myself tearing up.

Now a confession.. I felt awful for not letting Naisha having a go at this one. This was so her scene. She would have enjoyed it any day more than the painting..I know. How she loves the arclights! Sad that she has a mama who’s a bad case of stage fright. I actually considered the possibility but I dismissed it telling myself ‘no conveyance’. I should have gone for Naisha.. I could have done it with her and maybe gotten over my fear too and learnt to have fun. But I let it go…

And so another resolution… I’ll not let an opportunity like this one go by next time round.

Signing off now… will keep the Sports Day and Annual Day saga for tomorrow.. a saga it is … every small event is a big story with the kids around.

Open House at school

Open House Day.. their first in this class and I was curious and a little anxious.. not about their academic performance, that doesn’t worry me yet, but I like to see that they’re bonding with their teacher. I’d hate it if they are lost in the crowd of students, if they have no connection with their teacher, if they get comments like “She/He is quiet, conscientious, hardworking.” Please… it’s just such a dull, average kind of feedback, the kind of thing a teacher says when she doesn’t really notice/know the child.
I don’t know if I’m making any sense but I hope the kids are a visible presence in their class. Of course I’m here to encourage each ability they have but school brings out different sides of children’s personalities. I need the teacher, to do her bit too.. to notice something I might have missed… to encourage them at something they’re good at.  I’d hate it if their pluses are hidden behind that ‘quiet, shy child thing’.. gosh I hope they’re never quiet… even if their teacher and I nurse permanent headaches.
Thankfully the school has a policy of 25 – 30 children in each class with two teachers… so the child is not ignored. They got fairly good feedback.
Hrit first…
While I was worried about Hrit’s ‘mirror image’ reading and writing,… he often reads and writes English like Urdu, the teacher said it was a common problem.. so one sigh of relief. Then his speech is not very clear and I’ve been toying with the idea of going to a speech therapist for the past one year.. the teacher said vis a vis the class she hadn’t noticed anything significant.. so second sigh of relief. She had issues with his eyesight.. he reads with his nose in his book and can’t see the blackboard and looks with one eye sometimes. I had already taken him for an eyetest a few days back so I hope that would be taken care of too.
Academically he’s doing wonderfully, is genuinely interested in everything academic, loves to study.. yes study.. where did he come from, I wonder sometimes.
.. then Naisha
And then there’s Naisha. She’s really not into studies but she does enough to get by. She makes an effort to do well not out of a love for learning like Hrit but because she hates to leave a bad impression and loves to be the teacher’s pet. She got a decent review thanks to her ability to talk… now that’s my daughter… well spoken, articulate, she knows what she wants.. those are the things the teacher said. In fact Naisha has always spoken well and clearly. Perhaps that is why Hrit seems like he needs help. Anyway, I’ve decided to give him some more time before I go to a specialist.
On the whole not bad at all.
The Husband at Open House 
The Husband had come along… in fact he has been coming along for the past few times. I like the way we have two completely different takes on issues. Each time we sit with their teachers my question is ‘What are their weak areas? Where can they improve?” While his question is, “What are their strong points that we can encourage further.” He does surprise me still, sometimes. I have to admit I liked the positivity of his perspective.
Finally some shopping
At each Open House Scholastic puts up a book exhibition and the kids get to shop. The Husband and Hrit have been bonding over the Solar System these days so Hrit picked a book on planets. After Sharks and Bugs this is his new passion. He knows all of them.. the smallest, the largest, the shiniest.
Naisha is always lost when it comes to choosing something for herself. She takes ages.. yes ages to pick a simple toy. She just cannot make up her mind. She looked at scores of books and in true womanly fashion, was completely blissfully oblivious to the two men getting restless by the minute. Finally she settled on a ‘Princess – Things to Make and Do’ kind of a book and we all sighed with relief.
Right brain left brain
Come evening and I sat Naisha down with her homework.. which Hrit had already completed. The Husband disappeared in the study with Hrit to read his newest buy with him. Anxious that Naisha would lose out on her share of gyan I told The Husband to read the book to her too after she’d finished with her homework. However, “No more planets, mama’, she declared with finality, “I’m going to do some drawing.” And that was that. I’m reconciling myself to a scientific, academic son and an artistic daughter.
Really, God believes in variety.. not just did he give me a boy and girl he made them as different as he possibly could.
A good day.. Saturday.

Have you ‘bin’ a good girl?

The twins are five and are still not reading. And so these days I’m sitting down with them going over myriad lists of words.. ‘at’ words, ‘et’ words, ‘in’ words and on and on. Each time they recognise a word they get all excited and try to form sentences with rather interesting results. Sample this..

‘in’ words with Naisha

Bin – I’ve ‘bin’ a good girl

Fin – like in Dol’fin’?
Sin – Yes I know this… Naisha ‘Sin’
While on the English language.. this one’s my favourite… In Hrit’s words.. I’m the ‘pickuping’ man… but only when he finds time from ‘cleanuping’ his room.