Parenting Archives - Page 17 of 21

27/06/201115/04/2017

A summer project

Hrit Naisha are hugely into story-telling. They have been making up stories since when they were a little above two.. from simple tales to long winding complicated ones. Most children do that, I think. Naisha’s are full of prince and princesses and evil witches while Hrit sticks with aliens and monsters and scary/friendly wild animals.

We decided to turn one story of each of them into an illustrated book. What fun it turned out to be.

The stories were entirely their own… including the characters’ names! I wont tire you with the stories but they were very much in character with both of them.

I typed and printed them out and the kids stuck them on with the relevant pictures on sheets of paper. Finally I stapled the sheets together to make a ‘story book’. Pretty simple.

Hrit wanted to star in his book as the protagonist. He manfully sat through my amateur efforts at the ‘photo shoot’ after which I printed out the pictures. That was easy. Naisha decided to illustrate her books herself. It took me weeks to get her to make all of them. How many times do I have to make the prince? She’d ask. She did a pretty decent job in the end. The pictures were a bit crooked and the sticking a tad sloppy but the kids were thrilled.

Check out some pages from their books.

Hrit’s story first …

Kaku and the leopard

Once upon a time…

Hrit the actor

And now for Naisha’s tale. I was just so relieved it wasn’t about a damsel in distress.

Aurora and the prince

The evil witch trapped the prince on a tree

.. and then the evil bird flew away with the prince

Finally Aurora rescues her prince and then
it’s happily ever after

It turned out a great summer project.

24/06/201115/04/2017

Never two much

Here’s something I stumbled upon at momofrs’ blog and couldn’t resist sharing here. Thanks momofrs for letting me.

There’s two to wash, there’s two to dry,

There’s two who argue, there’s two who cry.

One’s in the mud having a ball,

The other holds a crayon, another marked wall.

Some days seem endless, my patience grows thin.

Why was I chosen to be a mother of twins?

The answer comes clear at the end of each day,

As I tuck them in bed and to myself say,

There’s two to kiss, there’s two to hug,

And best of all, there’s two to love!

~ Anon

Beautiful isn’t it?

09/06/201115/04/2017

They taught me..

So much to blog about such little time… Among a host of other updates was this tag passed on to me by momofrs. The tag was kicked off by two other mommy bloggers Kiran and Monica…

Says Kiran
it’s been a while since us Mommybloggers came up with something to celebrate, well, mommyhood, so the lovely Monika and I came up with this. A tag that has us list out five lessons of life that Mommyhood has taught us, these could be sweet, bitter, funny, touching, whatever. These could be survival tips or cooking tips, or something as simple as the best thing to get puke smell out of hair.

So, the rules are simple. Put the badge up. Write out five lessons that Mommyhood taught you. And tag five mommybloggers.

Here goes

Old dupattas, earthen pots, dried leaves, bits of ribbon, driftwood, pine cones, pebbles and stones… these are a few of their favourite things. Not the most expensive Barbies, nor those slick Hotwheels toys hold their interest for long. While Naisha can play for hours draping and redraping dupattas, painting pots, collecting leaves, Hrit runs around brandishing the skeleton of a dried up Tulsi plant or his trustee gada. And so here’s the first lesson motherhood taught me.. Happiness comes cheap

I am a SAHM mom. I enjoy spending a lot of time with my kids.. talking, doing craft projects, dropping them, picking them.. all of it (Oh well not ALL of it.. most of it!). Many of my friends have however chosen to keep working, my SILs for instance and their kids are doing fine too. I like the kids in bed by 9 and I know of mothers who like them awake for some ‘dad-bonding’. I am a ‘schedule’ person who has timings for everything and I know of mothers who function best when they go with the flow. If the basic lessons of life are in place… other things really do not matter.
So lesson number two then …
When it comes to mothering — different things work for different moms

Before the kids came along I’d watch moms staying up nights, waking up at ungodly hours to get them ready for school, calmly cleaning puke and poop and I was impressed. Never, thought I, would I be capable of all that. But along came Hrit Niasha and everything just fell into place. When Hrit coughed I’d wake up every few hours to nebulise him without an alarm, when a colicky Naisha threw up on me at a mall I just wiped myself and headed home. I’ve been known to faint at the sight of blood yet when Hrit needed a blood test I was there holding him and the queasiness just didn’t show up. Of course it’s another matter that Hrit felt completely betrayed (because I was there and didn’t stop the evil doctor) and didn’t come to me for two days.
And so here’s my lesson number 3
You are capable of much more than you think

Naisha’s weight was always on the lower side of the scale. “She’s so thin,” is the general refrain even now. I used to get worried and would try to push her to eat more, she would oblige only to throw up all of it. Finally I gave up. As long as she’s in the ‘normal’ range I let her be.
Then there was the time when Hrit went through an aggressive phase. “It’s a boy thing, he’ll outgrow it”, said everyone. I was, however, at a total loss on how to handle him and consulted a counsellor. The change was almost miraculous.
Each day brings with it decisions.. small and big.. should I give them this medicine or that one? Is this school better or is the other one more suitable? Should they go for Taekwando or elocution? Should they watch television or not? Is a gun the right toy for my child?
Listen to everyone but make the decision on your own, specially if you are handling the kids by yourself. Remember the story of the man, the boy and the donkey ? Don’t do that to yourself. You know your child best. So go with what you think is best for them.
And there’s my lesson number 4
You are the best decision maker for your child

I have had two left feet since the day I was born. Add to that a terrible self consciousness and you have a person who won’t shake a leg in public even in a ‘do or be shot dead’ situation. Then along came Naisha. Not only does she love to dance but also ‘dance with mama’. On my first dandiya night with them I handed her the dandiyas and took up my normal position at the periphery. But hey she dragged me in. I tried to hand her over to my dancer friends.. oh I’ve got plenty of those and they’ve always been grateful for my presence for who else would click pictures if all of us danced? But getting back to Naisha, she did a couple of rounds and came back to get me. Not only was I supposed to dance but also I had to be right there in the centre circle.
That was a nightmare. But her happiness was priceless. And so I made a complete fool of myself, injured a couple of women (who immediately widened the circle) to hoots of laughter from my friends. But I did stick it out there. This might seem like lesson number 3 but after a while I found myself laughing too along with my friends…
and my kids taught me lesson number 5…
Sometimes it’s fun to let go

Here’s my list of five mommy bloggers.. take up the tag guys. I know you’re busy but I’d love to hear your take so write even if it’s just 5 lines each.

Smitha
Whiny mom
Archana
Moni
Nisha

15/04/201115/04/2017

Just an update

Seems like ages since I was here.

First the important news.. we’re not moving. Yay yay and yay again. The Husband decided to give his job-hunting feet a rest and so we stay on here two years in a row. He has been much more available of late, to our collective delight. However I must admit it’s taking a little getting used to… this having him home early evening. We don’t quite know what to do with him (and neither does he). His arrival coincides with the kids’ play time. He’s of course too tired to go play with them. While he and I want to share a cup of tea the kids are restless to get on with their play schedules and want me down with them. Sigh! Quite a balancing act.

Holidays underway…
…and I have to admit I was really apprehensive about having the kids on my hands all day. After two troublesome days they settled down and so did I after I gave up my gym aspirations. Seriously.. why must they start fighting just when I’m rushing off to the gym? However, since the gym has been out of the way we’ve been getting along fairly well. We’re working on a rather interesting project. But more of that later.

What games do boys play?
That’s one thing I need to figure out. What do you do with your son to keep him busy at home? Mine is not really interested in crafts or art or board games. Since the TV and computer are not allowed till afternoon I’m at a bit of a loss. He roams around troubling Naisha, begging her to play bat-ball. She obliges only occasionally leading to many a fight.

And that’s why I’ve not been around my laptop. Entertaining the kids is serious business.

Next weekend I’m off to Lucknow. Fingers crossed since our train tickets are still RACed.

22/03/201115/04/2017

Oh for a peek!

Hey Q .. I need you to design a special gadget for me. This one will be tougher than anything you ever designed for the Bond man. I need one that would let me look inside the heads of my children. Who ever said children were simple and uncomplicated never did have children. Mine are just getting set to be five and already there are times I feel out of depth. I wish I understood them better……….

Pic courtesy Google pics

Bad night!
I started writing this post after a bad night a few days back when Hrit cried at hourly intervals till the wee hours. He was thrashing around restlessly and talking in his sleep but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. All I could make out was Naisha’s name. After he fell asleep I kept wondering…. What is going on in his mind? Is he having nightmares? What is bringing on these nightmares? I wished I knew. Earlier in the evening one of the older kids gave out a ‘ghost’ scare in a dark corner near the building lift. Naisha was incredibly cool about the whole thing but Hrit’s reaction was way too extreme. He panicked. He insisted we collect Naisha and go home immediately. Nothing I said made him feel better and he spent the rest of the evening sitting with me on the bench. I wondered whether that had come back to ‘haunt’ him.

.. and then the Open House
Then we went for their Open House on Saturday and the need for that device has suddenly become much greater. Naisha’s teacher had a revelation for me. Said she, “The other day I drew a sad face and Naisha made a sentence.. “When mama gets sweets of my brother’s choice that’s how I feel.” She went on to suggest that maybe Naisha was getting less than her share of attention. That was my ‘O My God’ moment.

Am I being fair?
Since the kids were born I was paranoid about not distributing my attention equally between them. Being on my own didn’t make it easy .. I hated handing over one child to the maid during meal and sleep times. When they were babies Hrit was the sick one and obviously I spent more time with him. Yet I was very conscious of it and made sure I spent time with Naisha too. As they grew up and Hrit’s wheezing became less frequent things became better. It’s been a long time now since I gave this issue a thought and now this.

To begin with the ‘sweet’ thing is just not true. However I am trying to look beyond the statement.

Hrit remains to be more clingy of the two and still hangs around me. Naisha on the other hand is more gregarious and is often playing with friends while Hrit is at home. When I go to the market it’s Hrit who wants to tag along while Naisha chooses to stay with her friends. Hey come to think of it… it is I who should be complaining of not getting enough of her attention!
There ARE a lot of things I do with Naisha only.. crafts, drawing, painting.. Hrit makes an obligatory presence but she’s the one really interested.

So I’m not completely convinced. Yet I do understand that I might lack perspective when it comes to the kids because I’m so deeply involved with them. Certain issues might be more clearly visible to an observant and concerned outsider. I give the teacher’s observation credit. I do realize that…

Naisha loves being the centre of attention and needs more attention than most kids not just from me but from everyone. She loves being ‘special’.
Also, I have to admit that Naisha is an easy child to take for granted. If both of them are clamouring for my attention, she is the one to say “okay mama you can listen to Hrit bhai first.” And I accept that. Was that unfair? Yes, now I think so. Maybe she was giving in only for my approval (oh yes she does a lot of things to prove herself a ‘good girl’) but wasn’t really happy doing it. Sigh! Well… no more taking her for granted, ever.

Am I reading too much in a simple incident? Maybe, but it’s better this way.

Q, do you see now how desperately I need that device?

This is just the beginning. It’s going to get worse as they grow older and get better at hiding their thoughts and feelings. How will I figure them out then? Will I know how to help them? Is there really something like a ‘mother’s’ intuition which will come to my rescue? Do I have it at all? You see Mr Q how easy you can make my life if you help me out here?

Meanwhile, in case Mr Q fails me, Hrit Naisha, here’s a request — Keep us in the loop please. Even though we might seem like antiquated fuddy duddies we will try really hard to understand you. If you feel we’re messing up, losing touch, being unfair …. let us know. Like this time I promise to give your thoughts, feelings and beliefs as much importance as my own.