growing up Archives - Page 6 of 10

15/11/201315/04/2017

The F word…

…. made an entry in our home. Yeah the real one.

Last night over dinner N asked me ‘Mama what does F*** mean?’ She rhymed it somewhere between the real thing and the word ‘hook’ so I took a while to absorb the question. That and the fact that the kids are not eight yet. I cannot even begin to explain what I felt. Here I am insisting on the ‘aap’ instead of ‘tum’ and freaking out if I hear a ‘shit’ from them and they’re onto this!

A ‘talk’ followed. I told her I was glad she’d asked me what it meant, that it was a ‘bad’ word not to be repeated, ever. However the damage will remain. I cannot possibly erase it from her memory. In all likelihood it would be even more securely planted since I warned her off it. And I’m afraid it’ll make an appearance in a moment of anger or stress.

The thing that worries me more is that she picked it up from a child from our society. I’ve mentioned earlier how I’m not comfortable with the twins’ playing with older kids, yet I don’t know how to stop it. This is the kind of thing I was worried about. Not that bad language is okay at any age but the older ones seem to revel in it.

I considered talking to his mom but the other mothers warned me off. Apparently they’d spoken to her earlier but she didn’t share the concern (they’re kids, they will pick up all kinds of stuff, she maintains). So now I’m in a bit of a quandary. What should I do? Tell the children to stay away from that kid? That’s not feasible since our’s is a small society with limited playing space. Besides, the children like him. He is a likeable kid and he’s just 10. But what if they pick up more bad language or worse start believing it’s acceptable to use it?

Should I talk to the kid directly? I know him well enough. That’s a thought I might follow through. Talking to the twins and warning them off bad language and bad behaviour rather than off bad kids seems like the best thing to do but it’s hard, really hard to get it across to them. How does one explain that a kid who is friendly, who teaches them cricket, who races with them each evening, who’s the epitome of cool is not so cool after all.

Sigh!

But then who said mothering would ever be easy.

30/11/201215/04/2017

The tooth fairy comes calling

Finally, after much waiting, it fell off.. the very first one.. Hrit’s tooth. For some reason he felt it was a major achievement and insisted I call and tell everyone. He followed me around asking, “Are you H A P P Y?” These days he’s spelling out half his sentences. If you’re wondering why, well so am I.

He showed off his gaping dentures to all his friends and all the aunties he could find reminding me of the hilariously gross character Lugaretzia from Gerald Durrel’s ‘My Family and Other Animals’. Great book, by the way.

Getting back to Hrit.. he was just too thrilled.

Then he got worried if the tooth fairy would consider his tooth worthy of being taken away. He wanted to know if it would help if he would brush it now that he could hold it in his hand and see it ‘properly’. Finally, the tooth, all brushed, bathed and cleaned was laid down reverentially under the pillow.

Had there been a real tooth fairy she would have been thoroughly confused wondering where to check for the tooth considering Hrit changes rooms more than once during the night. Oh we have enough activity between 11pm and 6am to confuse the sanest of minds.. but then that’s another post.

Anyway the ‘tooth fairy’ decided to leave the task to morning and just before she woke the kids up for school, the tooth was smuggled away and some money found its way under the pillow to their immense excitement. Hrit looked like he couldn’t believe his eyes and is planning a major ‘eclair’ treat for his friends with the princely sum of 10 bucks.

I so so love this age. I’ll miss them when they grow up.

27/05/201215/04/2017

When did they grow up?

When I got home late evening the other day……. the bed covers had been folded and put away
…. the sheets and pillows were laid out
…. the mosquito repellant had been switched on
…. the AC was switched on
…. the kids had changed into their nightsuits
and finally two pillows and a book were kept out ‘specially’ for me .. where I could sit and read.

… a surprise planned by the kids. Surprised I sure was … theyre growing up.

That’s Hrit demonstrating how I’m supposed to sit and read

28/03/201215/04/2017

The family that sleeps together…

…… doesn’t get much sleep at all
Pic Courtesy Google

In a few months the kids’ll turn 6. That’s a huge landmark considering they’ll ‘graduate’ to primary school. And so I thought it was high time they slept in their own beds. Unfortunately three and three fourths of our family thinks it’s a bad idea.

First, half the family – the kids (TK) are convinced they can happily snuggle up with papa and mama till they’re hundred.

Then, there’s The Husband (TH) who misses the kids sorely at night and doesn’t think much of my plans. Each night he tells me “bring them over to our room”.

Then there’s 3/4 me – the mushy mum (MM). Oh how she loves having the kids sleep near her, their little hands on hers, their gentle breath on her cheek, cuddling warmly, sharing a blanket… sigh she misses them so.

And finally 1/4 me – the sane mum (SM). She’s the only one on whose shoulders rests the responsibility of making it happen.

It really hasn’t been easy for SM with TKs staring at her with tear-filled eyes and TH watching her with a look more suited to Dashrath when Kakeyi banished Ram to the forest while MM has simply been wringing her hands in worry. But SM stands firm in her resolve.

A family conversation on the issue would go somewhat like this…

SM: H, N come, see I’ve put a special bed for you. You’ll be sleeping in your own room from now on.
TK (not quite ready for it, wrapping their tiny arms around my waist): But we’ll be scared mama.
MM: Okay fine we’ll try later.
SM (Quashing MM’s outburst sternly): I’m just across the hall. Call me if you get scared and I’ll be right there with you.
TK (in tears): But we like to cuddle with you when we sleep.
MM (in tears): Baby I like to cuddle you too.
SM : You can cuddle your favourite teddy.
TH (With studied casualness): Think of the extra cost – two ACs and two fans running through the night.
SM: Never mind.
MM (Pretending to be the voice of practicality): Think of the extra work – two covers to be removed each night, two beds to be cleared up and two beds to be made each morning.
SM: I’ll do it.
TK (wailing): We’re still babies, we’re not even six.
TH: They really are too small.
MM (Hating SM and desperately, hoping for a change of heart): Oh yes you’re too small.. my babies.
SM : You’re almost six.. that’s really grown up.

SM prevailed. The kids were bribed with the promise of a bunk bed on their birthday while the voice of The Husband and The Mushy Mum were ruthlessly crushed.

Since Sunday, the kids have been sleeping in their room. While N sleeps like the proverbial baby, H has come to wake up Mama each night with a “Can you please sleep with me”. Each night she has gone to put him back to sleep and have then come back to her bed. That, of course, has wrecked havoc on her schedule heavy with daily chores and the rather tough gym routine.

Four days later… SM is wavering, specially at night when MM takes over. The memory of those tear-filled eyes refuses to leave her alone. She lies awake as she wonders – will they fall out of bed? Will they get scared? Will I hear them if they call? She goes to check on the kids countless times during the night for at heart the SM is an MM. Or maybe SM doesn’t exist at all….. maybe she’s simply ….. a mum.

NO … she’s there, she has to be there, she’s only too real, she’s the voice of reason. She’s the one who will help the kids through tough times, when the MM becomes incapable of clear thought driving herself crazy with worry.

Oh the kids need them both. Love tempered with reason.

And so God bless SM with perseverance. She needs support, desperately. Raise your hands if you’re with her, people.

That’s how the kids spread themselves over three mattresses. Now consider squeezing two adults in there.
Still wondering whether you should raise your hand in SM’s support?

10/10/201115/04/2017

Over the weekend

It’s shaking, it’s shaking.. Hrit’s tooth is shaking… another right of passage… he’s growing up. That was the highlight of the weekend. Needless to say he was thrilled while Naisha has been checking hers by the minute without much luck. For once Hrit beat her to it, which is fair considering she turned, sat up, walked and talked before him.

On the weight loss front…
I begged and begged and begged the trainers to get the weighing machine functional. One of them got fed up enough to say he’d fix it up by Monday. “Pukka?” asked I, “Yes”, said the poor cornered man. “Promise?” said I, “Promise.” said he. “Gentleman’s promise?” said I. “Done” said he and made his escape while I bit back the “Fairy God promise?” hovering on my tongue. That’s what comes of living with two kids.

Anyway.. as a result of the impending examination at the weighing scales I planned some extra bit of exercise over the weekend since I’d not been a good girl with my diet (as usual). I thought I’d go for a power walk on Saturday evening but I got stuck with the kids’ homework. It wasn’t much but they need a lot of persuasion.
Oh well.. I’ll go at night, thought I. And it decided to rain complete with magnificent thunder and lightening bang at 9.

A determined me.. set the alarm for Sunday morning. I do surprise myself sometimes — my Sunday morning sleep is completely, totally sacrosanct. However, much before the alarm rang Hrit woke me up with a, “Mama potty.” Now my kids might not take my permission for anything else but for this one thing they ALWAYS, ALWAYS need permission. Naisha will run in from play jumping from foot to foot shouting urgently, “mama potty, mama potty” till I say “go go go run”. It’s been months since they’ve become independent in this department so it’s a wholly pointless exercise. Can I possibly say No? Anyway “Go,” I mumbled trying to get back to sleep. (All those who’ve been envious of my kids early sleeping… this is the price I pay). By the time the alarm rang Hrit was in no mood to let me go and Naisha was stirring too.

I had to content myself with a short walk along with the kids, which I must admit might not count on the weighing scales but was completely worth it. Hrit came along sporting his pirate mask over his glasses while Naisha tucked a flower in her ponytail and carried a Hannah Montana wallet… some sight that must have been. But once you’re a mum… such things cease to matter.

Pune weather never disappoints and the mornings are unusually pleasant. Even though we dodged drains and potholes the breeze was cool and the perfume of Champa and Harshringar was still in the air. Naisha exclaimed at the carpet of flowers under trees yet undisturbed by traffic while Hrit picked fights with every dog we met along the way. Great fun.

The power walk was postponed to the evening. Then The Husband sat down to watch ZNMD and I really couldn’t resist the temptation to join him even though I’d seen the film. Finally after 9 I got my walk done and now I’m set to climb onto that machine provided the trainer keeps his gentleman’s promise.