Category: growing up

It’s crazy how many things one needs to teach the kids. Yesterday in the playground a child offered Hrit Naisha some chewing gum. Now my bechara bachchas have no concept of what chewing gum is all about. And before Hrit could swallow it up and create an emergency I ran to warn him. They were both just not convinced about a sweet that couldn’t be swallowed. Naisha being the relatively obedient one (other than when it comes to eating dirt) spat it out immediately. Hrit needed plenty of convincing.. Why can’t I eat it? Sweets are meant to be eaten, aren’t they? What will happen if I eat it up?.. Whew.. one can’t even relax when they’re in the playground.

April 2010

Day 2 and operation friendship is well underway. However I’m not sure this is the direction I intended it to take. Things got a bit out of hand yesterday evening.

We were down as usual and the regular kids came along. It’s a bunch of three kids including the one who Hrit Naisha had had trouble with earlier.

Well the other kids were playing and I encouraged Hrit Naisha to join in. They did. That kid was again being himself again – jumping around Hrit Naisha and calling Hrit ‘naughty boy’. Hrit took it all in his stride. He did complain to me once and that’s it. However after a few minutes I found Hrit Naisha had ganged up with the other two kids and the four of them were literally heckling that other kid… they were running around him chanting ‘naughty boy, naughty boy’. Oops.. bad start. I mean making friends is nice but NOT at the expense of that poor boy. I tried to patch up – hand shake, huggie routine but I’m not sure it made much difference. That poor kid looked quite woebegone as his mom took him home. I do hope today is better and they all play together.

I’m sure he and Hrit will become the best of friends – the boy Hrit fights with most always ends up as his best buddy. Oh and his mom becomes my best friend too.. what with all the apologizing and empathizing. Archana what say?

April, 2010
I’d been preparing the kids for a quite sometime for the shift to Pune. Since they had plenty of friends in Bombay I was apprehensive they’d get lonely. I’d been giving them lessons on how to make friends. However, I was quite sure none of it would work. I have always felt that friendship, like love, can’t be sought. It just happens.. that’s how it’s been with me. The best friends I have always ‘found’ me rather than me going out ‘looking’ for them. (Lazy??)

However I tried to put aside all my doubts and repeated over and over how the kids should go about making friends. Repetition, according to psychologists, is the only way to get across to your kids. (Weird or what?)

Anyway so this is what I told them to do…
Hi I’m Hrit/Naisha. What’s your name? May I play with you? Do you want to play with my scooter/ball?
I was specially worried about Hrit because the last time we’d shifted he’d taken about four months to settle down and find friends. Till that time all kids by default were enemies. It was tough.

Yesterday while we were down at play along came this kid. Without any provocation he spread his arms and barred Hrit’s way. Uh oh.. thought I.. now begins the fight. I sprinted to the scene of action ready to mediate. But surprise surprise.. when I reached there Hrit was in full swing. “My name is Hrit.. aap ka naam kya hai? Meri behen ka naam Naisha hai,” he parroted. To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. Naisha I would have expected to do something like this, but Hrit, never.

Naisha, on the other hand has been a handful. She’s refusing to share her toys and not interacting with the other kids at all. Like I always say.. between Hrit and Naisha one has to ALWAYS give me a hard time. On the positive side.. one is always a dream. I do hope Hrit’s ‘good’ phase continues. Naisha will come around soon too. Meanwhile I’m trying to apply the Secret, think positive.