So, what’s the right time to allow a sleepover?

After some happy hours of play, N came in for lunch today bubbling with excitement. ‘Mama may I go to V’s house for a sleepover?’ She asked. I was kind of prepared, since a few minutes earlier I’d had a phone call from V asking the same question and I’d put her off saying I’d get back to her. 
This marks the entry of my twins in second phase of their lives – the beginning of a new set of parenting decisions and dilemmas. With the kids’ eighth birthday round the corner I thought I still had a few years before queries such as this one popped up. 
Friends hanging out in pajamas

In all honesty, I questioned myself – Is she ready for a sleepover?
The answer is ‘probably yes’. Here’s why I think so..
Since she asked, no begged, for it she probably is ready.
She has slept away from me (with my sister and her cousins) a few times.
She doesn’t wake up too often during the night.
She’s pretty independent (in my absence).
She behaves like a gem (in my absence).
So yes she’s ready for it.
The second thing I asked myself was Who is she spending the sleepover with?
And there were where the worries lay. Nope, there’s nothing wrong with the family. They live in the same society as us and I see them around pretty frequently. They’re in that vague slot between acquaintances and friends. However, how okay was it to let a child casually call up and invite a friend for a sleepover, I wondered. Am I over reacting in thinking this is a watershed moment in my kids’ life? That this is a big deal? Is it just like a simple play date or an evening out with friends (which I am also dubious about till I know the family well)?

I would have certainly appreciated some reassurance from the mum. 
And I had queries. Lots of them…
Who else is coming?
Who are the other adults in the house?
What about older siblings?
What would they be doing before they turn in for the night?
Would they be watching scary TV? (Such a no no!)
Being a girl thing would they be talking/trying out dress up and makeup? (aren’t they too young for that?)
What time would they actually sleep?

I would have liked to ask all of those and maybe some more. Yes I’d have liked a chat with the mum.

Sounds like I’m fussy? Well I’m entrusting the most precious thing of my life to a relative stranger, I have to fuss. I am well aware I’m a tad reluctant in letting the kids go. (It’s not quite right and I’m working on it. The progress has been slow, I might add).
Mercifully an old friend is arriving with her kids the morning of the proposed sleepover so the decision was made rather easily.
What was not so easily done is conveying the news to N. I had the heartbreaking task of delivering the ‘no’ watching her tiny face crumble into tears.
That, right there, is the time I HATE being a mum.

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Linking that bit of introspection to Write Tribe’s Free Write for the Wednesday prompt.

The chain

The kids, small and determined, surrounded their friend.
The men, large and threatening, sneered as they watched.
“Move,” ordered the leader.
“Never,” chorused the kids.
“We have come to take him you cannot stop us.”
“He’s a pal of our childhood, he stays right here.”

“We’ll take him by force,” – the threats got louder.
The chain of kids simply closed in tighter.
The men moved forward.
The children steeled themselves.
Large hands pulled. Small ones resisted.

And then they hit out at the weakest link.
Oh they were smart they could spot the chinks.
One large shove and the deed was done,
Dangling on the chain was the Tiniest One.

Their friend lay exposed and the little ones watched
as they hacked him to pieces with axes and saws.

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Edited to add: This post was inspired from an instance in Faridpur, India when authorities decided to cut down trees to widen roads. Over a hundred students, teachers, social workers and nature lovers got together to form a human chain to protest the move.

Linking to Write Tribes Wednesday Prompt Dangling on the chain..

Tomorrow we get back to the last three authors for the April A to Z Challenge!! What a journey it has been. Whew!

Also linking to Ultimate Blog Challenge

Just do it!

All I have thought about over the last month is books and authors, in strict alphabetical order! And so when Sunday struck and it was time for break from the A to Z Challenge I felt a bit bereft.

And so I turned to my old forgotten friend, Write Tribe’s Wednesday Prompt for help. The prompt for this week is ‘Just do it’.. and I did just that with a simple 55er. 

She lay on the floor, tired, helpless.
He towered over her, waiting, watching.

“Don’t make me do this,” she pleaded.
“You have to,” he growled.
She hated him. She hated having to do this day after day.
‘Please,” she begged, “I’ll die.”

Come on just do it! 20 crunches never killed anyone,” insisted her trainer.

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Till tomorrow then it’s au revoir. We’ll meet again with another story about another author.

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Linking to ..

A lesson learnt

I enjoy writing. I’ve done it for a living. Sometimes I’ve liked what I wrote and sometimes I haven’t. But I’ve always managed to beat the deadline. But let someone tell me to ‘write without thinking’ and I draw a blank. My mind, as that of many writer friends, is so conditioned to think and analyse and correct that it has forgotten what it’s like to let go.

Today’s prompt asks us to do just that. It’s Free Write time at the Write Tribe Festival of Words on Day 3 and I’m stuck yet again. After staring at the computer for a while I gave up and decided to go get some work done to get the mind out of its ‘I am a big blank’ state.

I had to pick a gift for a friend so I walked over to a gift shop near where I live. It’s an amazing place – Warm and cosy and full of amazing knick knacks and deserves a full post.

As I walked in I spotted a little girl of about 10 with a dark mop of curly hair sitting in the shop ‘designing’ book marks. She finished one with a flourish and showed it to her mum, the store owner/manager, ‘How’s it mama?’ She asked eagerly. ‘You think they’ll sell?’ 

Humouring her, the mum called out to me and asked, ‘What do you think? Would you buy this for Rs 30/-?’

I turned from where I was browsing the wares and looked at the slightly crooked bookmark, then at the little girl’s innocent look of eager anticipation and  replied, “Yeah I think I would.” The mum however had no such compunctions. Said she, “I don’t think I would. You need to make the edges straighter and the colouring needs to be more evenly done.” 

Without seeming put out at all the little girl started over, diligently cutting out a fresh strip of paper and designing it again. Soon she was back to her mum with a much better piece. “How’s this one? Do you like the design?”

I loved the way the girl took her mum’s criticism… How positive she was. Perhaps she was used to it – this honest and frank evaluation from her mum.

Often in an attempt to spare our children heartache we tell small white lies. I know I do. That really doesn’t work in the long run. It would have been easy for the mum to put those crooked bookmarks in a corner of her shop. But then, when they would have found no takers how heartbroken would the little girl have been. Worse, she would have never trusted her mum’s judgement again. Even worse, if some suckers like me would have bought them (30 Rs are easy to spare), she would have been content with her efforts and would never have learnt to get better.
And so another age-old maxim proves it’s worth …. Honesty is truly the best policy.

A lesson for me too – Sometimes to get somewhere or to get something done, we need to stop trying too hard. Sometimes, the trick, is to let go. I just did!

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I'm taking part in the Write Tribe Festival of Words -3