Tulika, Author at Obsessivemom

14/01/201415/04/2017

A is for anger

Once upon a time I used to be an even tempered, ever smiling person. I got along with almost everyone.. at office, with the maids at home.. everyone. I remember one of my nephews was quite a fan because ‘Chachi (aunt) is always smiling, mama,’ he would tell my sis-in-law.

And then I had the twins.

One day my two-year old was throwing a tantrum and I remarked, ‘Gosh! what a temper, she has!’ ‘Well she’s your daughter, isn’t she?’ shot back my maid. That’s not true, thought I even as I felt the anger bubbling up. How cheeky of her, I thought. But I let it pass thanks to the years of training of not being rude and also because she was years older than I was.

Then a few days later I was having a specially bad day. All my maids were on leave (I had three and one point of time) and the husband was travelling. All alone with the twins who were well into their terribly terrible twos it had been a harrowing day with the cooking, cleaning, feeding, bathing. Finally late at night dog tired, I walked into the bedroom with the two bottles of milk. There were the kids with their beach baskets pouring water on the beds. ‘Pool…’ Lisped my daughter.

And I exploded.

I don’t think I’ve talked about this incident but the look on my daughter’s face after that hard whack on her backside remains with me even today. She didn’t cry.. not at all. She just stared back, uncomprehending. I cried then.

Oh..the regret!

That was the day I realised I had a temper and that I had to do something about it.

The first thing I did was to start yoga. I am still not sure whether it was truly therapeutic or whether it was the simple idea of doing something about the problem, but I felt better. The fight was not over though, is not over. It’s been a continuous struggle.

In this struggle I was directed to The Orange Rhino by friend and blogger Shailaja who successfully completed the one-week no yelling challenge. They have some very useful tips to offer harried mums out to conquer their rage. Do take a look.

The twins are almost 8 and anger is now a familiar feeling. It still wells up suddenly, without warning, in a flash. However, often I find myself prepared to meet it. I have learnt to recognise the red flags, so to say, and begin to prepare to not yell when I spot them. Spilt milk, broken crockery, the early morning rush, even the continuous noise when they’re simply having fun are all red flags.

That’s the positive change I like to dwell upon. Not everytime do I succeed but I’ll get there someday I hope.

Linking to ABC Wednesday, which is starting it’s 14th round. Isn’t that Absolutely Amazing! Do join in.

12/01/201415/04/2017

Cold

The
icy wind, sharp as shards of glass, cut through his frayed blanket. He was no
stranger to winter on the streets. He remembered at least 10 of the 14 years of
his young life but it had never been this bad. He closed his eyes praying for
sleep.

Suddenly
… something warm against his back. He sat up abruptly, warily. Two large eyes
looked back at him, desperate, beseeching.

Strangers
in the night … they stared at each other.

Slowly,
he extended his blanket.

And
then they slept ..

curled
up together,

giving
and receiving warmth.

Strangers
no longer.

Boy and dog.

*******

Linking to Write Tribe’s 100 words on Saturday introduced in February 2013 on Everyday Gyaan.

This week’s prompt ‘Strangers in the night’ was given by the lovely Suzy Que.

10/01/201415/04/2017

100 Happy Days

Thanks to a blogger friend I stumbled across this site www.100happydays.com.

This is what you’re supposed to do – post a picture of one thing that made you happy each day for 100 days. Isn’t that a wonderful idea? I desperately wanted to be a part of it .. but the daily commitment scared me. There’s something about a daily challenge that I find very daunting.. and a picture at that! Even though I’m notorious for picture-clicking it’s tough to whip out your camera at every happy moment. Some of them are to just be enjoyed and stored away in your memory, aren’t they?

So I’m taking a middle path. What I can and hopefully will do, is post a happy post at least once a week.

Since something super happy did happen yesterday here I go…

A happy surprise!

Isn’t a happy surprise the best ever? Two days back I forgot my iPod in the gym and was pretty heartbroken – one because it’s such a lifeline to my exercise routine and two because it was a birthday gift from my sister. I’d given up on it what with the scores of people coming in and out of the gym. But wonder of wonders.. the cleaning boy had kept it safe and handed it right over to me the next day. By God I could have hugged him. He seemed pretty overwhelmed as I gushed out my 100 odd thank yous. (Wonder what he would have done had I gotten out my camera to click his picture :-D)
That was happiness no 1.

Onto happiness No 2..

…which is also at the gym. I’ve been exercising more or less regularly for over 15 years now. And finally I’ve found my groove, as it were. Zumba – a super cardio routine. It’s an aerobic dance that combines Latin and other international dance forms. Go here to read more. I’ve said it often enough that I’m not a dancer and so I was very apprehensive about the whole thing. But what absolute fun it’s turned out to be. That’s perhaps the only place I let go and have a blast, bad knees and all!

We’re a mixed bunch of girls/women.
– There are the really good ones who move like a dream.
– Then there are ones like me.. who just about manage to move to the beat without much grace – a 1, 2, 3, 4.. kind of thing
– Then there are others who don’t even get the beat.
– And finally there are some who should come with a ‘keep distance’ banner.. so uncoordinated are they. Hands and legs kick out in all directions.. off beat, off time.

I’m sure we make for quite a sight

But the thing is
It just doesn’t matter.

Everyone has a great time. There’s something wonderfully warm about being happy together. The icing on the cake is our super sunny-smiled trainer. Thank you P for a wonderful time each week!

Those were my happy moments. What made you happy today? Do share it here.
Cheers to a great weekend.

Linking to ABC Wednesday for the letter Z.

08/01/201415/04/2017

My Little Sister

He sat sulking, eyes straying to the clock, waiting his turn at the TV. He could hear the endless Barbie movie in the next
room. Ugh! Girls! If only he had a brother instead. They would have raced cars
and watched Ben 10 forever. He would trade her any day.

Or would he?

Would the brother call him bhai as sweetly as she did? Would he
make silly faces till he laughed after mum yelled at him? Would he hold his
hand at the movies, even though he wouldn’t admit he was scared?

Nope! He wasn’t letting her go, ever!

Linking to Write Tribe’s 100 words on Saturday for the prompt ‘My little sister’.

06/01/201415/04/2017

Here’s the first post of the year!

This New Year’s Eve was the most special ever – the first spent with family – with so many of our family. That night all of us were more than a bit drunk – some on alcohol, some on pure fun. And in that happy haze, amidst the chatter and the laughter, cheered on by each other we all made resolutions – wrote them down and signed them for good measure. About a third of them are to do with weightloss, two are would be marathoners, a budding author, a wannabe swimmer and from the kids.. the promise to do well at school!

Almost a week later, everyone has gone.. Cousins, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts – back to their homes, jobs, schools. That night already seems so far away. Which is why I need to reiterate my resolutions.

Two of them stand out – Weightloss and writing. Mercifully both are things I’ve been doing for a long time and can be reasonably good at provided I put my mind to it – and that precisely is where the catch lies – ‘Putting my mind to it’.

And so the biggest resolution of the year for me – I will put my mind to whatever I do. You can help guys.. push me, pull me up.. keep visiting. Your presence here is a reminder of all that I’ve set out to do.

Wishing you all a very very happy new year.

Linking to Write Tribe.