Tulika, Author at Obsessivemom

02/04/201015/04/2017

Difference of opinion

Just ‘made up’ with Naisha.. after a big fight.

When it comes to dressing up and doing their hair I pretty much let the kids be.. they do their own thing. Hrit of course is above all this but Naisha always wants things a certain way.. specially her hair. Somedays she wants a pony, sometimes she wears clips (on her own), sometimes her faux hair. As part of my policy of giving them ‘freedom’ I let her do as she pleases unless she’s making a complete clown of herself (like the time she came with multicoloured clips stuck in her hair all over her forehead).. even then I try to strike a compromise.

After a long time today I did up Naisha’s hair very painstakingly with multicoloured beads. She was looking quite nice…but then that’s just my opinion.. She apparently didn’t agree and wanted to wear her ‘faux hair’. So she started pulling at the beads. I told her she could wear the hair on the beads.. ‘No’ said she. Then I told her to wear it for a little while till I clicked a picture.. and again she said ‘No’. And then she followed it up with a tantrum.

Gawd was I ANGRY. I pulled out the beads.. told her to do what she wanted.

She cooly brushed her hair.. put a clip and then turned around to me and said, “Am I looking pretty?”

I totally blew my top. I told her to decide for herself.. since she seemed to know how she looked best.

That didn’t go down well with her at all. She followed me around crying saying, “happy? happy? Are you happy?”

This is something I totally do not understand. She defies me, does what she wants and then wants me to be happy. Anyway.. finally I did give in and became ‘happy’.

The things one has to do.

02/04/201015/04/2017

When I’m a grandmom

Never forget that they are not your children. You’ve had your turn now it’s theirs.

Never criticize anybody – son, daughter, the in-laws, children. As far as you’re concerned they are perfect.

Offer advice only if it’s asked for.

Don’t pop around all the time without being asked for.

Try to make visits fun, and think of interesting things to do with the grandchildren.

Remember all birthdays and exam times, and always offer congratulations when they are due.

Always respect the rules of your grandchildren’s parents.

If you see that they are in difficulties of any kind, don’t criticize offer to help.

Never show favouritism. You may have favourites (grandparents are only human), but keep them to yourself and let nobody guess.

Never undermine the parents.

Never be competitive with other grandparents – it’s not grownup and it’s pointless.

Try to be useful — and fun.

Think of a role you can play and nobody else can.

Taken from Things I wish my mother had told me by Lucia Van Der Post

01/04/201015/04/2017

A team

Hrit Naisha are increasingly teaming up against me and I’m not sure I appreciate it. The other day they were both sitting with their glasses of milk. (The milk drinking is a real ordeal. They sit for ages with their glasses. Naisha’s turns cold and she makes me reheat it almost everyday. Hrit’s spills as a rule.. either some or all). Anyway I was working on my laptop and berating them quite mechanically… finish your milk..don’t spill.. on and on. Hrit, I think, got a bit fed up so he stuck out his tongue at me. I started to scold him and then I noticed Naisha.. she was giving him a silent ‘thumbs up’.. as in good job Hrit bhai.
That they’re already teaming up against me made me nervous. Tough times ahead.

18/03/201015/04/2017

The magic of Magic Pot

The best part of having kids is that they make you revisit your childhood. Today I got a magazine for Hrit and Naisha, Magic Pot. Great pick. Has plenty of things for their age – stories, comics, dot to dot, colouring, counting. Great fun. And I went back to the times of Tinkle and Chandamama (Apprently they have survived) – those stories of sustram chustram their booohoohooohoo, patlu moto… great fun.

The best part was that Hrit Naisha liked the magazine. The unavoidable fights were of course there – I’ll colour, no I’ll colour… but I could put up with that. At least it’s better than the ludo damp squib.

15/03/201015/04/2017

Dadu dadi gone

My in-laws left today and as expected Hrit Naisha were pretty upset when they woke up. They had no idea they were leaving early morning. No goodbyes, no see-you-soons. I think that bothered them a lot. I told them Dadu Dadi had gone to bua’s house.

Here’s what Naisha said,
“It’s okay mama. They need to rest. We have been really troubling you these last few days I think that’s why they went away.”

She hadn’t been feeling well over the last few days and she’d been very very cranky. I was taken by surprise that she was aware she hadn’t been a ‘good girl’. Surprising and touching.