Protected: Grouchy brothers and pretty sisters
Before I was a mum…
I never
Learnt to connect with the entire baby tribe dismissing them as a noisy, demanding bunch of inconveniences.
Stared back indignantly at co passengers in the flight who seemed to think of kids as a noisy, demanding bunch of inconveniences.
Opened the door with a gada in one hand and a dupatta in the other when the bell rang.
Answered the door with my hair in multiple ponytails because my daughter was practicing ribbon tying.
Slept with a gada, a tiger and a doll on the bed.
Danced around the fire at Lohri.
Lay down on my stomach in the society parking lot to pull out a ball from under the car.
Habitually interrupted phone conversations to yell at the kids like a typical ‘smug married’.
Asked the pani puri wala for ‘just puris’ or the icecream man for ‘just cones’.
Walked with 19 kgs in one hand and 13 kgs in the other, on cranky days.
Rejoiced at a one hour window shopping opportunity ALONE…
… Then became deliriously happy when I reached home and was greeted with two very warm hugs.
Cried copiously while watching films like TZP.
Protected: You’re the best Hrit
On story telling
Doctors say one should start reading to the kids from the time they are born.. or even when they are still fetuses. By those standards we were late starters.Initially of course the days were a haze of formula mixing and nappy changing. The only story that appealed to me was that of Sleeping Beauty.. sleeping for a hundred years.. bliss, I thought.
Which one to tell?
Then there was the issue of which one to tell. What with fairy tales peppered with evil step mothers and sisters, the choice was limited. (Take Cinderella, Snow White or for my mythology crazy kids – the Ramayan). There were fathers who abandoned their children in the jungle (Hansel and Gretel), and scary endings galore. The Pied Piper who walked away with the kids gives even me goose bumps or Red Riding Hood who was eaten up by the wolf along with her grandma.. positively a no no.
So what’s a mama to do?
Well tired of trying to pick and choose I simply proceeded to sanitize the stories. First to go were all stepmothers replaced neatly by ‘naughty aunty/queen’. Kaikeyi was just a ‘naughty queen’ in Dashrath’s palace.
Then went the scary endings.. Pied Piper was given his money and made to bring back the children, a hunter heard Red Riding Hood and scared the wolf away (the grandma also runs away instead of being eaten up).
Lastly I did away with the death sequences… the evil queen in Snow White falls off the hill ‘never to be seen again’, The troll in the Three Billy Goats is ‘carried away by the river’, the giant in Jack and the Beanstalk simply ‘breaks his head’.
Yet there are questions..
From N: In Jack and the Beanstalk the giant falls so, “His mama must have been sad.. she was nice, she helped Jack and still Jack hurt her son.”
This one from H: “When Ravan died was Vibhishan sad?”
And another one from him: “Bad logon ko mar dena chahiye mama?”
The best bet…
… I found were our good old Panchatantra stories. Then there are the Pooh and Dora series which were just perfect.
The doctor says…
The counselor advised me to make up animal stories for the kids. So there are stories about…
A rabbit who used to push other animal kids (for H when he’s naughty in the playground)
A calf who laughed at someone who fell down (for both of them)
A lion cub who learnt to make new friends (for when we moved to Pune)
A teddy bear who is naughty at the doctor’s (to while away time at the clinic)
A pup who wouldn’t come home from play in time (to get them home after playtime)
A Jack story about a boy who is naughty at a birthday party (for when I have to send the kids alone to parties)
However what I’m most proud of is my Cocktail Story.. that’s for the time when Hrit and Naisha both want a story of their choice and there’s time for just one so I give them a cocktail and wonder of wonders — They love it.
MW critical.. is it murder?
Our over ten year old faithful Microwave was murdered yesterday by an egg. Well actually the blame must be shared. The egg …. the early morning rush.. my ignorance .. the family members who sometimes make just too many demands. However nothing counts now. MW is no more.
It all happened during the morning rush while I was trying to prepare breakfast for the three loves of my life. All wanted eggs but one could eat only boiled, the other wanted French Toast and the third said he’d be happy with an omelet. No problem said I.. it was a Saturday, you see, and I wanted them all pampered and happy. And so while I got going with the onion chopping I thought I’d get MW to boil the egg … and bang.. disaster struck.
Within five minutes the egg was blown to pieces taking poor harmless MW with it. As I dashed to the site of the accident I found egg pieces strewn all over. MW looked deceptively alive.. almost as if it would come on at the flick of a switch and start warming my leftovers with a relish. But appearances, as they say, are deceptive and MW it seems is really dead and gone.
Not one to give up on a loved one we called Just Dial for MW doctors and got quite a list. The first one on the list was summoned home. The operation began under our watchful eyes. MW sat there in all its vulnerability with its innards exposed while the ‘doctor’ worked diligently.
“How on earth did so much water get inside?” was his puzzled query as he dried up MW.
‘So that’s where all the water went,’ I thought silently, while my gentleman husband kept quiet about my hand in the murder. Well come to think of it.. it was a mistake — a sad one one but certainly not murder in cold blood.
In any case the doctor hemmed and hawed and tchhed for a long time before pronouncing MW dead. We gave up hope and with tear laden eyes readied to bid adieu when “Wait” said the ‘doctor’ dramatically, “Maybe, just maybe we can do something.” A glimmer of hope. “I’ll have to take him to the hospital and see whether I can revive him,” he said.
And so we wait with baited breath for some good news. Meanwhile it’s cold leftovers and plenty of pan-washing for us.
Come back MW.. we miss you.