When hugs get few and far between!

When hugs get few and far between!

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Sometime back I needed to pick up a gift for one of the kids’ friends. I took the children along with the understanding that we WOULDN’T be shopping for them. However, the obvious happened. H found something he just had to have. N somehow never troubles me as much as he does. While she sulked quietly H threw a full fledged tantrum. We had a big blow up and walked out of the shop. A few slices of pizza later, when all was forgiven I put out my arms for a hug. And H refused. Simply refused.

“No hugs or kisses when we’re out of home, mama,” said he biting off a huge slice of pizza. “Only high fives,” he added putting out his hand as a concession to my bewildered look (or was it to ward me off?).

This is H – the cuddle freak. H who could be soothed with a hug even at few weeks old, who would sleep for hours on end as a newborn as long as I held him tight, who would snuggle endlessly and when I’d try to move he’d say ‘I can’t let go we’re in a permanent huggie.’ And my heart would totally melt making me wonder why I ever wanted to get up at all.

He was refusing me a hug. My son has officially entered the tweens and he’s not nine yet.

It’s strange how kids change. While H the born hugger is suddenly conscious of his big boy status N, the one who often howled to be put down in her crib and enjoyed being left to herself as a was baby, is growing more and more cuddlesome, even in public.

For now, I’m just glad I get to hug both my kids at least at home. Mercifully H’s hug embargo doesn’t exist at home. However, this does make me wonder if sometime in the distant future there exists a day when he’ll say no to hugs completely. That will be a sad day indeed, though I have no intentions of going down without a fight.

Wonder if they turn back into huggers once the awkward teens are through. 

Linking to ABC Wednesday for the letter H. Do drop by to see other H posts.

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12 Replies to “When hugs get few and far between!”

  1. I too felt the sudden change when my elder son became a teen. And i have to force him to hug me now. But for my younger one who is almost 10 now, i hug him all the time, never know when they start to change.

  2. Aww, I can imagine the hurt you must have felt, Tulika. Gy still loves her hugs but she has asked me to stop coming to the bus stop to pick her up after school 🙁 I relish those moments when she gets off the bus and searches for my face. Now, to think that she won't want me there anymore, makes me bawl 🙁

  3. Hi Tulika,
    I have a 3 year old at home. As of now he doesn't resist hugs unless it interferes with his playtime- then he just wants to be left alone. However I know this is not going to last long, especially with the boys. So, I guess the only thing we can hope for is that eventually they grow out of the awkward phase too 🙂

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