It’s a tough road to travel

Try anything worthwhile and there are a hundred roadblocks and so it is with trying to stick to a sensible diet. Here’s my list of the toughest pitfalls.

Picture courtesy Google images
Kids.. They are the biggest roadblocks of all. It was all much much easier before they came along. I’d simply NOT keep fattening stuff at home. Our fridge never had butter or cheese or chocolate sauce or Nutella (yum). Not so now. I have to keep the fridge stocked with all of those plus mithais and sweets. It’s so easy to pop in a chocolatey, gooey éclair each time you pass the fridge. What’s worse, I have to make stuff they love which is invariably fattening.. aaloo paranthas, French fries, puri-aaloo, pastas loaded with cheese, groan…. And then I have to say ‘Eat Eat Eat’ to them while saying, “DON’T EAT DON’T EAT DON’T EAT” to myself. What a trial.
What do I do: Well I make watered down versions for myself. A muli parantha for me when it’s aloo paranthas for them.. a pasta dish heavy on veggies minus the cheese for me while they tuck into the cheesy version.
Stress…. And there is plenty of that thanks to Point No 1. Each night after we’d put the kids to sleep the husband and I would order tubs (yes tubs) of Natural’s Ice Cream (isn’t it heavenly?) and demolish the entire tub between the two of us. That was our way to relax. As soon as the kids were asleep we’d crave something scrumptious. That’s when the kgs started piling on.
What I do: Plan. I now keep something low fat and delicious for the night. I get the maid to chop fruit or I make some yummy honey/lemon tea. Well it’s not a Natural’s tub but we make do.
Weekends: All week I’d be carefully counting calories… avoiding anything that was remotely fattening. Then along comes the weekend and I think I can relax a bit and bang… my dieting takes a plunge. All my calculations go for a toss.
What I do: Again, planning seems to make it better.
Parties… All those birthdays I go to thanks to… yes once more it’s Point No 1.. and the yummy foods on display… all of it necessarily fattening. Tough to resist.
What I do: I choose the lesser evil… Make a beeline for the salads, pile up the raitas, missi roti over puris, mixed veggies over koftas.
Formal dos… These are worse than regular parties where you can hide and escape…. Husband’s boss’ party or at the in-laws (specially if they’re new ones), and the boss’ wife/MIL saying — Why aren’t you eating? Oh come on.. you can diet another day. Have some kheer, na. Dead dead dead.
What I do: I load my plate with everything on offer.. yes everything. Then I eat just the healthier stuff while letting the dangerous things rest on the plate. Then when the dinner is winding down I quietly dump all of it. Wastage ..I know. But then I read somewhere, “It’s better to let food go to waste than go to waist.”
That’s it then for now… eat well and eat carefully.
PS: Incidentally one of my favourite quotes is “Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening”
BTW there’s a page on FB by that title too. Talk about like-minded people.

Copying is not all easy

My copycat son picked up a bad one yesterday. He saw someone at school licking their fingers to flip pages… that’s a lousy one and yes I’m sure it was at school (We had a dragon of a librarian and even now if I ill treat a book her disapproving face swims before my eyes, so no chance of that happening at home).
He, however, didn’t quite get the hang of it. Yesterday during homework time he was busily turning pages.. licking the fore finger of his left hand and turning pages with the fore finger of the right hand.. lick with one turn with the other.. lick n turn… lick n turn.

Just Naisha

Naisha the adult
The maid is leaving for the day… Bye didi.. apna dhyan rakhiyega.
Papa’s leaving for work… Papa bye.. Be nice. Then to me… ‘Be nice’ means don’t do anything naughty.
Sonam Kapoor on the telly. Pretty girl.. isn’t it mama?
++++++++++
Naisha the responsible girl
The power goes off. She comes running in.. flip flip flip.. she runs around the house switching off lights and fans. “Mama,” says she, “Quick switch off the lights and fans.. power’s gone”.
It starts raining.. she runs from room to room checking if all the windows are shut.
When did she get so grown up?
++++++++++++
Naisha the mama
The kids come out from their room with bags slung on their shoulders and move purposefully to the balcony..
Me: What are you doing?
N: I am going to the gym and bhai is going to office.
Me: Why aren’t you going to office?
N: I have small babies at home.. I can’t go to office till they are older.
Back from a trip I’m tired. I put on the television for the kids (who are of course NEVER tired) and lie down to rest. Naisha saunters in, “Mama mama, oooh mama is sleeping”, she whispers.. She walks out on tiptoe shutting the door behind her. “Bhai I think mama is tired… don’t make a noise.”
+++++++++++
Naisha the baby
N: Mama I don’t think I’ll have children
Me: Why?
N: Because when you have children you have so much work. I’m so small I’ll get tired.
Me: You don’t need to have children right away. You can wait till you are older..
N: Okay then.. but mama you must promise that when I have a daughter you’ll get an empty frock for her.
Me: Empty frock?
N: Yes so that I can draw something pretty on it with my glitter pen.
+++++++++++++++
Naisha the drama queen
Brother-sister have a fight. He bites her on her shoulder. She bawls. I rush to the spot, scolding him applying cream to her. After eons she gets up… “Oh mama it hurts.. I can’t even walk straightly. I can’t even sit.. I can only stand”.. pause for effect… “on one leg”.

Happy birthday Shanti

It was the kids’ masi’s birthday and I decided to take them shopping for her. When you have kids.. anything you do… anything .. might have repercussions you haven’t even dreamed of.
The new clothes made Naisha decide that her ‘daughter’ must have a birthday too and hence new clothes. And so we are today celebrating Shanti’s birthday. Since she came to us when Naisha was two… she is today, two and a half years old.
We had some Diwali finery left over and I could fashion a skirt quite bridal in its glory and a scarlet dupatta too. It was some achievement considering the only stitch I know is the running stitch.
To my credit Naisha was almost crying from happiness at the ensemble. She pestered me for an earring and when I pointed out Shanti doesn’t have ears I was firmly put in place saying “It’s not for the ears it’s for her forehead.” Shanti has to wear a mang tikka for her birthday.
She looked quite pretty, really.
Little mama made much of her darling hanging all over her saying “Shantu which is your favourite colour?” Shantu what gift do you want?” then collected an assortments of gifts.. a chocolate, a pair of chappals, a pack of bindis, a mask left over from a birthday party, the drawing of a cake, a piece of ribbon which is Shanti’s ‘dupatta’. She then asked the brother, “What are you getting for my daughter?” to which he replied rather rudely, “Main kuchh nahin de raha hoon.” He had been pestering her for ages to come play ball with him and she hadn’t seemed keen what with the preparations for the birthday, so I can’t blame him for being a bit put off.
‘Shantu’ was then put on the ‘wheel chair’ and taken for a ride. A friend has been invited over to help. Streamers are being torn into confetti which will be thrown over Shanti as the caravan passes by. I have been called in to click pictures of the birthday girl.
The Barbies have been mercilessly thrown out of their pride of place and Shanti sits like a queen with bits of streamers all around her. The house is resounding with the birthday song.
The festivities continue…

It’s diwali and I have a cold

Diwali’s a day away and I’m nursing the worst cold of my life. My nose drips, my head is heavy, my temples throb, I’ve sneezed about a thousand times and I’m grumpy as a bear.
Called up a friend in desperate need for a sympathetic ear and she brushes me off with a, “Can’t talk now… am getting my house done… the workers are all over the place.” Called over my sis-in-law, “Sorry, says she apologetically.. we’re getting our doors polished… no time.” Logged onto Facebook and a friend’s status message reads, “Carpenters everywhere.. jazzing up the house for Diwali.”
Humph!
I get on with breakfast and lunch.. sneezing all the way. I try chasing away the cold with a bout of steam and endless cups of bitter ginger tea. The day is half gone. By now I have also swallowed a Crocin, a Wikoryl and an Avil and am a tad wonky from the last one. Yet the cold refuses to go. I really need to do something. Desperate, I call up my doctor sis-in-law. “Where are you?” I ask. “Shopping for Dhanteras. What happened to your voice?” “What antibiotic can I take for a cold?” I demand brushing aside the niceties. “Do you have fever, bad throat? No? Then no antibiotics. Just wait it out.”
Damn! Say I, wishing for a more colourful vocabulary that would have allowed me to express myself better.
Might as well get on with the Diwali preparations, I decide. I climb up precariously on a chair and start hanging out kandils.
Interesting how unlike real women Diwali never turns the telly women into dust hating freaks, just shopping freaks. Dressed up in bridal finery they rush around armed with fancy shopping bags.
Even if they do try their hand at cleaning all the dust they find must be somewhere really high up. As they balance on their delicate toes they must come crashing down right into the arms of a waiting stranger who is necessarily handsome and adept at the deep-in-the-eye look.
I let out a deep sigh… and that dislodges a rather large blob of dust that sets off a sneezing spree and I come crashing down. Even as I try to steady myself, laughter bubbles out. So much for handsome strangers! Not even the faithful husband is around, who by the way has been dispatched to get some sandes and samosas following the adage ‘feed a cold starve a fever’.
The laugh feels good.. it saves me from turning into a Scrooge.
The door bell rings. The husband and kids walk in… I look at them ruefully. I’ve spent the day groaning and sneezing, yelling at everyone. What a waste. I bring out the special Diwali hugs.
Later I happily watch my diet blown to smithereens as I dig into the gorgeous samosas and crisp chillies. “I didn’t even go to the gym today,” says the small voice of the conscience. I stifle it with a huge bit of the delicious Sandes. It’s Diwali.. and I have a cold.

 

Time enough, later.

PS: Whether it was the laugh, the hugs or the samosas… I do feel better already.