Author: Tulika

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Life is a box of ‘Every Flavour Beans’

This is a Blogadda Wow Post.

You do know what they are, don’t you? The jelly beans Harry and his friends bought off the lunch trolley on the Hogwarts Express, the ones available in every conceivable flavour –  Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans – those are the ones I’m talking of.

“…. you get all the ordinary ones like chocolate and peppermint and marmalade, but then you can get spinach and liver and tripe. George reckons he had a bogey-flavoured one once,” Ron had told Harry.

Life’s a box of Every Flavoured Beans - A risk with every mouthful. Share on X

Each time you dip your hand into that striped little box you never know what you will draw.

Oh you can try and guess the flavour as you unwrap each one. However, you’ll find the wrappings are misleading. A rich golden one might enclose within it the darkest flavours while a simple unpretentious one might hold the very happiness your heart desires.

No matter how wise you get or how experienced, no matter how hard you try to pick and choose to get just the good ones, bad ones will find their way from your hand, to your mouth, into your life.

No one, not even the greatest magician, gets it right all the time. Remember how Dumbledore chanced upon a vomit flavoured one? So then what chance do mere muggles, stand?

However, does that mean you stop dipping into the box?

Not at all.

You try. And you try again, for these jelly beans are addictive, just as life. As did Dumbledore. He made a second attempt, remember? Only to end up with an ear-wax flavoured one! You’d think it would put him off for ever and yet I’m certain, when the box is passed around again, he’d be game for another try.

That’s just how it should be. You learn to enjoy the good ones and spit out the bad ones, as in life – you revel in the good days, tread carefully on the bad ones. No matter how Life treats you, you go on living, go on picking, go on sampling it, jelly bean by jelly bean, one experience after another, savouring each one, enjoying the unpredictability for that’s what makes it fun.

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda for the prompt ‘Life is a box of …’.

 

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Ensuring Your Child’s Safety in School

Today I host a special guest on my blog. She’s an author, a blogger and a mom. We first connected through her book We Will Meet Again, which I read and loved. We went on to bond over more books and of course parenting. Meet Tarang Sinha.
 
Tarang is a freelance writer and author of We Will Meet Again, a mature love story. Her writing has appeared in magazines like Good Housekeeping India, Child India, Woman’s Era, New Woman and Alive. Her short story, Dilemma, has been published in a bestselling anthology, Uff Ye Emotions 2. Her supernatural short story, It Rained That Night, is available on Juggernaut Books. She is an avid reader and blogs @tarangsinha.blogspot.in.
The last few years have seen an alarming number of incidents where the safety of children in schools has been compromised. While the onus of ensuring that the school is a safe haven for each child remains on the authorities, Tarang here, talks about what we can do as parents to keep our child safe.

 

That day I wasn’t feeling well, so my husband went to pick our toddler from the play school. The school was within walking distance  – purposefully chosen. It was I who (dropped/) picked our child from the school every day. The teachers had never met my husband.

Although it was his father who was going to fetch our child, I was feeling jittery. How would the teacher’s react? Would they refuse to hand him over to my husband? They would definitely make a call to confirm. I thought.

After a few minutes, my husband got back with our happy child. I was disappointed and displeased. It was irresponsible of them! The next day I broached the question. The answer I received left me dumbfounded.

‘He looked like S’s father,’ the teacher said sheepishly.

I mean, really?

I changed the school.

The recent incident at Ryan International School is scary, heart-wrenching and infuriating! It seems there’s no order and security. A similar case was reported (in a different wing of the same school) last year too.

School is a place where children spend a large part of their day, so it is very important to ensure that they’re in safe and responsible hands. Apart from government initiatives and efforts by schools, we, parents, need to be alert and aware about our child’s safety.

Tight security

It’s important to check if the school has a good level of security system. The current school my son goes to, issues two guardian’s identity cards and it is mandatory to show up with that card at the time of dispersal.

Observe if the security guard questions strangers entering the premises.

Verified Staff

Security guards and ayahs should be skilled, caring and verified. Check if your school gets their police verification done.

Safe transport service

This is a thing I dread the most, sending children to school in the school bus. It is convenient, I know, but parents should keep a few things in mind when using school bus for transportation:

  • Trained (and at least one female) attendants on the bus.
  • You must have the name and phone number of the driver/conductor
  • The driver/attendant must have parent’s record with phone numbers
  • You must have the number of the vehicle

Making Your Child Aware

‘He who knows others is wise; who knows himself is enlightened: Lao Tzu’ Share on X

Your child stays away from your doting arms and anxious eyes for a long time. It is important for him to be independent and aware.

  • Make her/him aware of good touch and bad touch
  • Encourage him to share. Talk. Ask about his day in school every single day, no matter how busy you are.
  • Teach him how to behave; how arrogance and violence are unbecoming.

For Child’s Mental and Emotional Well Being

There are several cases where children experience mental/emotional torture in schools but they hesitate to share it, maybe because of fear or shame, or lack of openness from parents. Keep a watchful eye for any striking changes (they may turn into a recluse or may behave aggressively) in your child’s behavior.

If you notice any sudden change in his behaviour, talk to him/her. Do not hesitate to discuss your concern with your child’s class teacher or even the principal. Notice if they’re friendly and approachable.

Possible causes for mental trauma

  • Abusive behaviour of teachers or any other school staff
  • Sexual harassment
  • Bullying

Communicate with you child

  • Never avoid if he says something objectionable about the school/staff/schoolmates.
  • In the parent-teacher meeting don’t just talk about your child’s academic improvement. Mention if you have any concern regarding school management.
  • Show your interest in your child’s friends. Talk to them when they visit. It’s not just about courtesy. You must know who your child’s friends are.

Tips to make your child comfortable so that he/she doesn’t hesitate to share his/her feelings

  • Don’t pester him with your urgency. Give him some time but watch him silently.
  • Keep your tone and approach friendly. Being stern would create a distance.
  • Share your own childhood stories and tell him how you made some silly mistakes. It will encourage him to open up.
  • Agree with his thoughts for now. Make him understand later.

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Have you ever faced issues with security at your child’s school? What did you do? Share with us.

 

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When learning is a new adventure everyday

Somedays I wish the twins were toddlers again and it’s not only because their tweens are proving to be tougher than their toddler days ever were. This feeling was brought on the other day when I was at the inauguration of a play school, Safari Kid at Koregaon park, Pune.

The thought that has gone into making the play school not just child friendly but mom friendly as well, is amazing. As I went from room to room, (I cannot call them ‘classrooms’ at all because they just aren’t that, not in the traditional sense at least) I found myself going from ‘aww’ and ‘how cute’ to being seriously impressed.

Safari Kid is a chain of play schools that has made its way all the way from Silicon Valley to Mumbai, Bangalore and Pune in India. This is its second centre in the city. There’s lots to like here and you can go to their website for more on it.

A Glocal approach to learning

What I liked best is the principle of bringing in global ideas and modifying them to suit local culture. For instance along with Hindi and English children are given an exposure to languages like Spanish and our good old Marathi. The idea is not to drown them in coursework, they’re just 2 to 5 years old, remember? However, children pick up way more in their earlier years, simply by being exposed to new experiences – and that’s the idea Safari Kid is working with.

Because each child is different

As a mom to twins I know how very different two children can be. I’ve written about it often enough. That’s why, when I was looking for a school for the twins one of the major criteria was the number of children in their class. That’s another thing I loved about Safari Kid. They have not more than 16 children in each class with the teacher-student ratio at 1:2 for the infants (under 1), 1: 6 for children under two years old and 1:8 for the 2-6yrs age group. This allows them to work with each child as an individual, tailoring the teaching to each little one’s pace and style.

Building potential leaders

A lot of play schools these days serve as mere preparatory classes for when the children move on to the ‘big’ school. At Safari Kid, that happens automatically while the focus remains on his long term personality enhancement. For instance there’s a little podium where children learn to make presentations. Standing up there and talking about something as simple as ‘my favourite colour’ or ‘my favourite toy’ helps rid them of self-consciousness and makes them comfortable with public speaking, encouraging potential leaders.

For the Creative Child

Oh and if you thought it was all about reading and languages and presentations, you must visit the Art Room. I fell in love with the tiny easels and the colourful array of paints. I can completely imagine children spending hours messing about and refusing to come out of there.

And there’s more..

There’s a delightful indoor play area where children can climb and slide when they feel like a break. Take a look.

There’s space for the very tiniest ones – a Sensory Room where they can touch and feel and play along with their mums.

I got talking to some of the moms and they seemed to trust Safari Kid implicitly with their children. That’s should be enough recommendation for any parent.

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Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post. The views, however, are my own.

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Walks and conversations

The children had two days of mid-week holidays – a parting gift from Ganapati as he is taken off for visarjan. We had more peace in the house than we’ve seen in some time. More than one person commented on how relaxed I looked!

Despite exams being just a few weeks away we managed some fun together-time. Remember I wrote about N’s interest in photography? Each time we go out for a walk she comes armed with her camera and clicks anything that catches her fancy. We chanced upon this tree.

‘It looks rather sad and lonely’, I remarked, ‘with it’s leaves and flowers all gone’.

‘I think it looks great fun – like a giant catapult’, said N, ‘imagine how far a huge ball would go if I were big enough to string it.’

She had a point, of course. And all of a sudden the tree didn’t look quite as sad any longer. It’s all about perspective, isn’t it?

Children do come up with interesting ideas, which is why I love walking with them. The only hitch is, we don’t actually walk, as in the walk-for-exercise kind of walk. Or, since N has put me in a positive frame of mind, we do much more than walk – we talk and discuss and observe. We look at the flowers and trees – how the Amaltas hangs down like a chandelier or how  Peepul leaves twirl in the wind. We stop to smell and pick flowers. N is fascinated by the Harshringar we find strewn in a cream and orange carpet. She wonders, a little disappointed, why a tree with such delicate blooms should have such rough sandpaper leaves. I have no clue, I really am not much of a Botany person. I do want to tell her that beauty is never perfect but I stop the cynic in me – time enough for her to discover all of that on her own.

Soon enough H will want to sit and tell me about Greek Gods, yeah he’s still going strong with Rick Riordan. So while he and I will find a bench, N, definitely the more active one, will  continue with her jog around the park.

We’ll pick up dry pieces of branches to be used for craft projects, which may or may not happen, but my bag will look like this.

While N is the one doing the running, H is the one who gets thirsty and will drag us all to get him a drink. ‘Any juice will do,’ he says accommodatingly. And though I’m not a fan of packaged drinks I’ll indulge them just this once, and we’ll walk back home to begin the day.

Joining Parul for #ThursdayTreeLove.

 

 

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The Road to Independence #Monday Musings

Last weekend as I was picking up H from his guitar class we saw one of his classmates walking back home. He lives close by and goes to the same  class.

I happened to say, ‘How very responsible and independent he is! Walking back home by himself!’ And that, dear friend, was a mistake  you must remember never to make when you’re with your tween. I regretted it almost immediately.

Never praise the independence of another child unless you are willing to let yours have it too. Share on X

I really should have just kept my mouth shut. But then even the most cautious of us slips occasionally.

Obviously, H wouldn’t stop talking about it. Obviously he pestered me to let him walk there and back on his own. The distance doesn’t worry me, it is a little over 1.5 kms. It’s the fact that he would have to cross roads twice through fast-moving traffic and the fact that he is rather absent-minded.

Of late I have started allowing the twins step out on their own. They walk down to the stationery shop to get their own supplies and to the library. We are fortunate to have all of those within a few hundred meters around our apartment complex. I love it that they can run small errands for me like picking up grocery or giving clothes for ironing, which takes such a load off me, while making them feel responsible too.

But this was something I was skeptical about.

After much discussion (read argument) and silent contemplation (read sulking) we reached an agreement, or so I thought. It was decided that we would have a few ‘trials’. H asked if he could walk back with his friend. I agreed, assuming I would be walking with the two of them. Of course he assumed I wasn’t.

When the weekend approached and he realised I was going to walk with them he threw a fit, the kind of fit only a be-dead-rather-than-be-seen-with-mom-by-your-friend tween can throw. After another round of ‘discussions’ and ‘silent contemplation’ he said I could walk along as long as I kept twenty paces behind them.

So imagine this – H walking ahead with his friend pretending he didn’t know me and I following like a detective sent out by a suspicious wife to keep an eye on her cheating husband (or vice versa, for that matter), ready to turn my back or duck behind lamp posts to avoid being spotted, except he would have been more worried than me about me being seen.

The things one has to do for one’s children!

Mercifully, H tired of the walk soon-enough and realised that getting a ride with me was a way more comfortable option. I’ve begun to look upon laziness as a serious virtue. For now, the matter is resolved, till the next bout of independence strikes.

Meanwhile we are practicing crossing roads together, while I practice keeping my mouth shut. Tight.

What do you think, dear reader? Am I being too cautious, ‘overprotective’ as H accuses me of? What’s the right age to let children out on the roads on their own? And I’m talking Indian roads here.

 

Linking up with #MondayMusings at Everydaygyan

 

With Mackenzie at Reflections from Me

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