H is for Happiness

.. and that’s the elusive thing I’ve been pursuing, with some success.

At the beginning of this year I’d decided 2014 would be a year of positivity for me. Fortunately I stumbled upon this site here – 100happydays.com and have been focussing pretty consistently on finding one happy thing everyday, 100 days in a row.

It has done me a world of good. The traffic lights turn red right after I go across, my queue at the billing counter seems to be moving faster and the kids seem to be behaving better.

Two things I specifically gained from the challenge

To look for the good in not so good situations

This Saturday I got back from the gym and as I entered the house “Ta Da!!”, said the kids, “look what we made for you!” Even before I could see what they’d made I saw pink… Everywhere.. dry pink colour was over their hands, their faces, their clothes and all over the balcony. Yeah the instinct definitely was to let go. But one look at their smiles and I couldn’t. Then instead of focusing on this…

I focused on this…

and this…

After a few deep breaths I noticed they had kept the mess to the balcony and had also laid out newspapers just like I’ve taught them to, before they start something messy. And I felt the anger melting away. After exclaiming at their artwork, together we swept and mopped and then I sent them off for a bath. Bad situation salvaged!

The other thing the challenge has done is made me 

think about ME..

..beyond the kids and family, I got thinking what makes me happy. Of course I love the kids and of course my life revolves around them.. a lot. However, I was glad to realise I find pleasure in so many other little things – watching the sun rise with the husband, a good book, a blogpost that made me go ‘WOW’, a quiet meal, a delicious salad, a hot cup of tea. Of course I was enjoying all of that all along, i just became more aware of it.

Sure, is fun.

Linking to ABC Wednesday

G is for ‘Something Good in everything’

H has a mentally challenged child in his class, A. H often talks about him and enjoys being with him because, “A is most fun to be with. His brain works differently ma,” he explained to me (No doubt as explained to him by his teacher).

A few days back he said it was A’s birthday and asked for a gift for him. I’m not big on gifts, (I prefer cards), but when H insisted I wrapped a small one for him.

I forgot about it till this Saturday when I went for the Parent-Teacher meet. During the conversation his teacher said, “A’s mum has asked specially to convey her regards to you. She had tears in her eyes, so touched was she with H’s gift for A…..:,”. I was beginning to puzzle over, what I thought was, a bit of an overreaction, for a small gift. Then, continued H’s teacher, “…specially after A had attacked him a day earlier”.

That made me sit up. How come H didn’t mentioned this? H, who shows me every tiny hurt.

I took it up with him. “Did A hurt you?” I asked.
“Yes mama. He didn’t want me to sit at his desk but teacher had asked me to, so when I went and sat he got angry. But then teacher came and helped me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.
“Because it was only A. He doesn’t mean to be bad. He gets angry sometimes. I’ve told you na, his brain works differently,” was his reply.

This was H
– who remembers every single real or perceived injury and insult for ages.
– who doesn’t pause to think before landing a punch at his sister.
– for whom I went to a counsellor when he was 3, because he couldn’t control his anger.

Oh he’s come a long long way. I was so proud….
…of H for not holding a grudge, for being so mature.
.. and of their school for practising ‘inclusive education’ in its true sense.

It cannot be easy. I’ve heard other parents complaining and do perhaps understand their concerns for their children. However, now I see how positive it can be to have A in the same class, not just for him but for the other children as well. (What is required, is perhaps a little more help and vigilance from caretakers).

Isn’t this what differently abled children need? Not pity, not special schools, not special treatment.. Just a matter of fact understanding that they do things differently, react differently, that they are ‘different’, not less not more, than the other kids.

And a HUGE HUGE thank you to A for bringing out the best in my son and for introducing me to a whole new side of him.

There really is “Something Good in everything”.

*********

Linking to ABC Wednesday . Do click on the link for more great entries.

Of love and donkeys..

Last Sunday afternoon as we switched on the television the fag end of the film ‘Ajab Prem ki Gazab Kahani’ was in progress. Ranbir is saving Katrina from the bad men. Katrina runs towards him and exclaims, ‘Prem!’ ‘Jenny’, say Ranbir Kapoor… ‘Prem’, ‘Jenny,’ …. On they go.
While N got caught in the ‘tense’ moment H let out a squeal of laughter.. “Jenny, he called her a Jenny.. a she donkey. He’s calling her a she donkey.”

Bet the film makers didn’t think of that! (I’m sure Jenny has another meaning).

Then comes a dialogue “Tum is ghar ki Bahu banne wali ho!” (!) and N asks,
“What’s a Bahu?”
“Daughter-in-law”, say I.
“What’s a daughter-in-law?”
Seriously sometimes the kids amaze me with what they know and sometimes with what they do not. While I was coming up with a reply she says, trying to make it easier for me,
“Who’s our daughter-in-law?”
“Nobody,” say I. “We don’t have one”.
“Does masi have one?”
“Nope”,
Bua?”
“No”
“Never mind then”, says she losing interest.

And then finally at the happily ever after as Ranbir gives Katrina a kiss on the cheek.. “yuk,” says Hrit covering his face with his hands..”He kissed a she donkey!”

Sorry Katrina the kids are just not Hindi film buffs.

The homecoming

‘…today? He’s leaving?’ I heard them talk. And then I knew it
was my last day there.
My heart
filled with dread. ‘Outside’ was a strange world – busy, crowded, scary. ‘Inside’
was warm, comfortable, safe.
Then I saw it – a tiny face, a tiny happy face. And two larger
ones .. eager, worried.. happy too. Back to the tiny face. Fascinating! She
stared, blinked. Suddenly she smiled. I felt all warm, warmer ever than I’d felt
in my cocoon.
Then, I was smiling too.

Oh yeah I was getting out of the NICU. My twin was waiting. I was
going home.

 

Linking to Write Tribe’s 100 words on Saturday -7 

in response to the prompt “I knew it was my last day there” given by Sugandha

 of Shades of Life.

A good morning!

Some days are just happy days. Today seems to be one such. The kids woke up on their own a good half hour before I even start waking them. They then decided they wanted to get dressed ‘all on their own’ and they did. Some half an hour before time they were dressed and ready. N sat reading a book while H took to the juicer and made some Mosambi juice with ABBA’s “I have a dream’ for the background score. Bliss! Contrast this with a regular day when we go down to catch the bus with N’s cheeks bulging with breakfast and H running back home to get his skating kit.
Moral: Early to bed and early to rise starts your day with a happy surprise 
(See that? Even the rhymes are happy today).
While on music — H has opted for it at school and comes back humming each day. Last week it was ‘Give me oil in my lamp’. This week it is ‘I have a dream’. Brings back happy memories of my school days.

In other news…
We got our TATA Sky upgraded and H wanted the empty carton to play with. Trying to put him off I told him,  ‘Papa wants to see the box before you can play with it so wait till he comes from office’. Pat came the reply, ‘Why don’t you click a picture and send it to him on his phone, and he can tell me if I may have the box?’ Seriously the kids are getting too tech savvy for comfort.

Moral: Trying to put off kids with excuses works no longer. A simple ‘No’ is best.

And some more news..
H had been pestering us for a Playstation. Not a great fan of gadgets, we put forth a seemingly impossible task. H had to get a perfect score in ten consecutive tests and we’d get it for him. Yeah, you guessed it, he went ahead and did just that and now we’re in a bind.

Moral: Never underestimate the power of a play station.

I’m off to the gym for my daily dose of endorphins! Have a great day everyone.