Category: Play

When friendships change

When friendships change

Dear girls who play with my son,

Last time I found H in a scrambling match with one of you and took him to task. You remember that I’m sure. A few days back I found two of you again, walking away. One of you was in tears and the other, outraged on her behalf, for the same reason – a scuffle with a boy during a game, where her t-shirt got pulled.

Okay I’ll admit my first thought was, “No, not H again!” It wasn’t.

But that’s not the issue at all. The point is, there are some things you will need to understand when you play together. In a game that needs some amount of physicality, when one of the children is supposed to catch another (and count to ten while the other tries to free himself/herself), t-shirts will get pulled, dresses will fly, hands will be twisted, feet will be stepped upon.

You know the rules, right? You are the ones who put them in place along with the others. You cannot then, in all fairness, start to cry, or get angry or quit the game either. You will simply come across as a bad loser.

You’re growing up, I know. You’re becoming more conscious of yourself and the changes in you and that’s just how it should be. But don’t let it take away the fun from your playtime. Don’t let it take away from your friendships.

Soon you’ll all be grown up and out in the world – working, competing, playing and socialising with men, on an equal footing. Each time a situation like this crops up you cannot break into tears, you cannot get outraged and worse, you cannot withdraw. 

You cannot.

If you do, just like in the playground, be prepared to be laughed at, or what’s much much worse, patronised by the others. You’ll hate it, take my word for that. Just as you will be left out of the game now, you will be shut out from the more exciting challenging opportunities to learn and grow and prove yourself.

Most importantly you’ll miss out on many many good friendships. Men do make for wonderful companions – easy, uncomplicated, fun. I say that from experience. And that would be truly sad.

For now, I’ll repeat the five simple rules I keep telling H – 
1. Set the rules before the game – Make it clear what is acceptable and what is not. Do be reasonable and practical.
2. Dress for the playground – Wear sensible clothes: shorts, tights, jeans, running shoes.
3. Be prepared for some amount of rough play – It can be fun once you give up your ‘I’m a girl I shouldn’t do this’ self image.
4. Accept no nonsense – But don’t be over sensitive.
5. Assess the situation, the intention – An unintentional pull of the T shirt is NOT a bad touch.

Remember these rules. They work in the grown up world too – Set the rules, dress sensibly, be prepared to fight rough, accept no nonsense and asses an intention fairly.

For now, stop being girls or boys – just be friends.

Love and hugs
Mom of H.
Linking to ABC Wednesday , after a long long time, for the letter C for Change. It’s good to be back here.

One last 2014 post

One last 2014 post

Happy New Year folks!!

I find I cannot get on with my posting without one last 2014 post even if we’re already sitting in the second week of the new year.

Of course, this should have ideally come at the year-end but it never did happen. Seriously, I always wonder how most bloggers manage to post bang at the right time – right before a big day or after a celebration. Never ever have I managed that – which is why most festivals and birthdays sail by without a mention.

Sigh! That’s one of my resolutions then. 

On with the news now..

Our Christmas play went of wonderfully and was much appreciated. That the audience was made up half of doting moms and dads and half of people who were simply glad to see the kids kept out of their way, may have something to do with it. Since many parents didn’t arrive in time, it being a working day, we had two runs of the play back to back for those who missed it.

What’s more, the kids brought out the Christmas spirit in our fuddy-duddy apartment members. An ‘uncle’ brought cake for everyone – enough to feed an army, an enterprising mom turned up with homemade chocolates, at least two others brought more bunches of chocolates and still another one got tiny gift wrapped ‘Christmas trees’, real plants, for each of the kids. One of them dressed up her little daughter as Santa and there she was – distributing sweets to adults and kids alike.

And the best part – none of it was planned, other than the play. Each of the other acts were individual acts of affection and camaraderie in true Christmas Spirit. The children of course felt on top of the world and went on to have quite a party.

Preparations are already underway for Republic Day.

By the time 2015 rolled along, I’d turned another year older and we rounded off with a wonderful family get-together at Goa.

I’ll leave you with some pictures and hope to get back really really fast.

Looking forward to a wonderful New Year.

A play, a letter and some cards

A play, a letter and some cards

That’s exactly the kind of a headline that would have drawn the nastiest of frowns from my editor way back when I was working. How cool is it to be your own editor! While on headlines, even the biggies get stuck sometimes. Why else would Shakespeare call one of his works “As You Like It”.

Anyway it’s Christmas and there really is no time for rambling. Since you already know the three things on my mind – a play, a letter and some cards read on..

First – The Play

I haven’t been posting about the Book Club for sometime now. That’s not to say we’ve been idle. There has been plenty of activity. In fact that is exactly why I haven’t found time to post.

Yes, finally the children are putting up a play this Christmas. In the spirit of the festival and in trying to keep everyone happy and involved I’ve gone over the script scores of times to weave in parts that each child wanted. Finally, everyone is pacified and reasonably happy. We now have …
– two narrators (because two kids would be nothing else), 
– a number of good fairies (ALL girls wanted to be fairies), 
– a bunch of evil goblins (Yeah, you’ve guessed it – the boys would be nothing else, much as I hate stereotyping!) 
– and two leads!
Whew!

My door bell hasn’t stopped ringing with queries and complaints. The evil goblins are proving to be really evil and the fairies are giving them fair competition. However, I would like to look at the positive side – the kids ARE working together despite it all. There are walkouts each day and yet the next day they are there again trying to practise, with barely much adult supervision. That’s something that makes me very very proud of them.

Look at the lovely invites they readied.

We’re waiting for D-Day with crossed fingers hoping there are no casualties along the way.

A Letter

This year H and N discovered that there’s no Santa. And so there was much protesting when during a book club meeting I suggested everyone write a letter to him. After some cajoling (encouraged by the pretty printables I downloaded from here) they came up with some interesting ones. I did tell them to think of intangible things. (I heard one of the older ones explaining to a younger one – write about things that are ‘untouchable’ :-)).

I loved what some of them wrote. Much venom was directed at the security guards of our apartment building, who are all just doing their duty, poor souls. Among other requests for craft sets, chocolates and good grades we also had some for a neater country, more respect for girls, help in making their grandma’s room Christmasy and even one for snow in our city!! Awww!!! Isn’t that really sweet.

Do try to get your kids write a letter to Santa. It’s just so much fun and makes for a wonderful read when they grow up.

And finally the cards! 

In case, like us, you have lots of cards to make and are struggling with a deadline you could try this. All you need is some coloured paper, stars to go at the top and a ribbon or simply some more paper for the stems. Cut out triangles, stick them overlapping each other for the tree. Put up the star and the stem and you’re done. Ours are all ready. Don’t they look great?

We’re all set for Christmas. So what have you got lined up? A craft, cooking or baking or carol singing? Do share with us here.
If you’re short of ideas you could check out some of the posts from my fellow bloggers. Do take a look.

Come join a set of fabulous bloggers sharing their Christmas moments – Easy Holiday Crafts, DIY ideas, Recipes , Decor ideas and book recommendations with you .

http://www.artsycraftsymom.com/?p=4396

Starting from today till Christmas and beyond, each one of us will be writing a post related to Christmas.
Participating blogs
ArtsyCraftsyMommunniofalltradeshfareensspaceroohiscollectionshellomommyhood – attachedmomstotschooltotallyawesomeThemomviews – bumpsnbaby.com
rugsoflifeoneandahalfminutesshishuworldruskandteaaspoonfullofideasorangekitchensobsessivemomrachnaparmarparentingmantras
onboardthemommyshipkwikdekoblogthekeybunchmomzspacewhatscookingmomcoloursdekorhappypeopleeventsfantastic-feathersbeingzoesmom

So sit back, relax and check out all the fabulous Christmas Bonanza posts from our participating blogs in the linky. Support us by sharing our posts using the hash tag #ChristmasBonanza

This Linky is for participating blogs only, but We would love to see your Christmas Crafts too. Come and link up your Christmas post at ArtsyCraftsyMom.com