Author: Tulika

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Happiness roundup – Week 11

Week 11, here I am. I know I’m late – this post was supposed to go up on Sunday but I’ve just not found the time. If you’re interested enough to wonder why.. well I’m taking part in the April A to Z Challenge  that requires me to post everyday in April. With the holidays looming large I’m trying to finish off as many drafts as I possibly can. So while I might not seem up and about on my blog I’ve been having an extremely stimulating week in the company of some AMAZING AUTHORS, which is my theme for the Challenge. (There, that’s the first bit of publicity I’ve done for myself!)

And before I get back to the company of great minds here’s my list of happy things this week.

1. A heap of watermelon..

Yay! summer is here and watermelons can be breakfast, lunch, dinner or a midday snack. Love them.

2. Crafting crowns..

…with the kids. I love it when they sit together and make things although I have no idea what brought on this crown fixation.

3. A clean house..

… after the weekend. Those of you who do not have kids cannot even begin to imagine how messy the house gets over the weekend. On a cool Monday morning, when I get back from the gym to find the house spic and span it so makes my day. It’s almost like the maid has a magic wand. Such happiness!

4. Tea on skates..

H decided making tea was getting a bit too boring and that he needed to spice things up a bit. So this is how he delivered my evening chai. I had my heart in my mouth but well excitement is happiness too. Right? And he did manage to deliver without mishap.

5. A healthy colourful breakfast

Mung sprouts.. yum!

6. Flowers for me

..by me. Sometimes it’s nice to be nice to yourself.

7. Shopping for gifts

One of the best parts of going home for the summers is the shopping. Getting gifts for everyone at home is one of my favourite tasks. And so when the kids left for a birthday party this I spent two hours splurging on goodies. Super fun.
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April A to Z Challenge – the How and the What

I was never serious about the April A to Z Challenge. One
because I feel daily challenges become boring and you end up writing a lot of stuff that’s just not good enough and two because they involve too much commitment.
However I sometimes suffer from the foot-in-the-mouth syndrome. I talk about things I
have little or no intention of taking up. During one such conversation dear friend Shailaja mentioned the Challenge to me and I said she should certainly sign up. I never included ‘me’ in this whole thing, yes I remember very clearly.

But was she listening? No sir!
That day onward I had no peace. Like a well-meaning bulldozer, first she firmly raised all my objections to the ground. Then she dragged me (protesting all the way, everyday, even now) to sign up, then to join the Facebook group, then to put up the Challenge logo on my blog and then to take part in this theme reveal.
And so here I am, kind of getting used to the idea that I will be posting 26 days almost at a stretch, at a time of the year when I normally clock 3 to 4 posts a month since it’s vacation time and I’m travelling. I have been working furiously to get as many posts done before April as possible. The odds are against me certainly, yet I just might see this through thanks to support and encouragement from friends like Vidya and Corrine. (No, I will not mention Shailaja). Thank you guys, you’re the best.

For the Challenge I have decided to keep it simple, since it’s my first. I have chosen to write about 26 very special people, people I know well. Some, I’ve known since I was a child and some who I met as recently as last year. I have chanced upon them in stores, through the computer or at libraries. These are people I have come to know through their books.

My theme is AMAZING AUTHORS – Some with books dating back two hundred years some as recent as this year. 
They have not just saved me from a very dull existence but have enriched it in a thousand varied ways. They have made me smile, laugh and cry. They have shown me miraculous worlds, real yet magical. They have taught me to love, to be patient, to persist, to follow my dreams and sometimes to simply sit back and have fun.
I love them all. My only regret – I have had to leave out many others, who are equally dear to me.
So come join me in this month-long journey. You’ll certainly find some old friends here and maybe some new ones too.
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J is for being Judgmental

The other
day I was down in the garden. A bunch of kids were playing close by while some
mums and some maids stood by chatting. A fight broke out – we have one almost
every minute. One of the kids boxed the other one, only to be punched in return.
A mum and a maid rushed to separate their charges. The mother turned upon the
maid in righteous anger and gave her an earful. “Why can’t you keep an eye on him?
Do you come down to chat?” She said before retreating with her son. “This is
what happens when kids are left to the maids,” she added before admonishing her
son to ‘never play with that boy again.’
As if that
were even a possibility! Five minutes later, the kids are back again.
How quick
are we to pass judgements, and how wrong. Among many things motherhood taught
me – this was one valuable lesson.. 
People cannot be bracketed.

One of my favourite quotes from one of my favourite books.. ‘To kill a mockingbird’



She’s a SAHM
– she’s a good mum.
She’s a working
mum – she doesn’t have time for her kids… wrong again!
She wears a
sari/ abaya – she’s conservative. 
She’s pushing her daughter to have fries – she’s a bad mum.
She’s fat –
she’s lazy (that one’s for me).
Oh it can
make you feel good about yourself for a while. But when you judge others you also
end up judging yourself. And sooner than later you will fall short. You cannot
possibly think you are the only perfect person on earth! If you do think you
are, well then you’ve reached nirvana and can stop right here. But if you do not, you will fall short of someone and will end up feeling not so
good about yourself. The first step to accepting yourself is to accept others
as they are.
This becomes
even more relevant in a country as diverse as India. People from different
regions, states and ethnicities, speaking different languages, dressing differently,
looking so very different… it’s as crazy as it can get. 
While I was working in
Mumbai there was just one other girl from my hometown in North India and it was
assumed that we’d be best friends. However my best friend came from the other
end of the country – from down South. We bonded over books. We ended up being roommates and are still
friends some 20 years later.
Being
judgemental can make you miss out on some really good friends.
Over the
years I learnt to reserve my judgement. Oh I’m not perfect just yet but I hope to get there.

Linking to ABC Wednesday the grand initiative now in it’s 14th round.

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Happiness roundup – Week 10

Time for the week’s happiness roundup… Where does the week go? But then that’s a good sign isn’t it? Time moves fast when you’re happy, right? 

Here’s what made me smile this week…

1. That bye bye kiss to the kids

Believe me, I’m not thinking “Peace at last!” when they board the bus each morning.. Oh well maybe on just some days. Most days I count it a huge perk of being a SAHM… to have the leisure to wave to the kids. I’ve been doing it for about four years now and I still love it every single day. N shouts out these messages “Have a good day mama”, “Take care”, “Be happy”..punctuated by a dozen flying kisses. It’s a totally ‘aww’ moment. H likes to stick out his tongue at me or make a rude face.. Yeah apparently that’s how he shows affection. It’s ever more adorable and endearing to watch the dads blow back kisses to the kids. Oh I love mornings.

2. A super movie. 

Caught Queen this week and loved it. Watching that awkward behenji protagonist from Delhi find her feet and take wing was amazing. A must watch if you haven’t done it already.

3. A bit of crafting.

Although I was merely guiding, not doing it.. yet it always gives me pleasure to see something pretty take shape. First we did this simple bookmark for N’s “most strict teacher” (because of who she spent a quarter of the year crying each morning before school) who has now turned into favourite. 

Then my niece came to stay and made this amazing bag. I’d been waiting for ages to do this with N, but she just doesn’t have the patience. My niece however did a super job. Doesn’t it look pretty? 

4. Gujhiyas… 

I thought I was being proactive when I bought a pack of gujhiyas ‘for the guests’ some two days before the festival. But we finished it even before Holi came around and then were rushing around as usual at the last minute.

5. A quiet evening watching the kids play basketball.

Sitting in the balcony and watching kids play from a distance is just so relaxing. The sounds are muted yet the thump of the ball and the camaraderie in their shouts make me happy. I can watch them for ages.

6. Watching Chak De on the telly. 

This Saturday the kids and I watched it and enjoyed it for varied reasons. My primary one was SRK. Isn’t he gorgeous?

The kids, however, were so caught up in the film that by the end N was jumping on the sofa cheering India on while H, my lazy lazy son, prayed as they took on the Aussies.

7. And finally it has to be that mad mad festival.. Holi.

Your turn now. What made you happy this week?

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I is for Innocence

The other night as my 8-year old was on the verge of drifting off she said, “Mama, if I ask you something will you tell me the truth?” Now this is one question I dread as much from my daughter as I’d dreaded it from my mum in my teenage.
So anyway.. “Yes,” said I.
“Is Santa for real or do papas and mamas give us gifts every Christmas?”
Whew.. What could I do? I’d promised to tell the truth so truth it had to be…the whole truth and nothing but the truth.The deluge of tears that followed was heart wrenching.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she sobbed after I’d very deliberately, very surely killed Santa. “I argued with all my friends. They told me there was no Santa and I didn’t believe them. I believed only you.”

Heartbreaking! O I felt so guilty.

“Who will we decorate the tree for? Who will we keep the cookies for?” she went on.. And then the thought struck her “Did YOU eat up all the cookies we kept for Santa? And the letters we wrote to him.. all lies.”

And more questions..
“Are there no reindeers either mama?”
“No,” said I, shamefaced.
“No Rudolph?”
“No”.

“If I hadn’t asked you, you’d have never told me and then when I had babies I wouldn’t have bought them gifts thinking Santa would get them and then on Christmas day they wouldn’t have had any gifts at all. How sad they would have been.”  Some thought!

Finally after a long sad time we managed to console her.. not convince mind you, just console her.. that there had been a Santa long time back and then parents had just taken over after he passed away. Next morning having slept over the issue and apparently having given the matter plenty of thought she said, “Mama when I die (death and dying are pretty much dinner table conversations here) and I am born again and if you’re my mama again please don’t ever tell me that there’s no Santa. It feels really sad”.

Even as I hugged her I wonder how would I handle it given a second chance.

Coming from her it sounded like I’d woven such an elaborate web of lies, which of course I had. So what should I have done? Killed the Santa story completely? That would be so sad. Or maybe I shouldn’t have built it up and embellish it as much. Definitely NOT make it the core of Christmas celebrations. How deeply I regretted not telling the twins about it earlier… or at least hinting at it.

My son had seemed unconcerned through this entire exchange. However in one of his Hindi worksheets on Christmas when they had to write a line about Santa this is what he wrote.. “Our parents give us gifts but we think Santa has come”.

 

 

What do you think, people? Do your kids know there’s no Santa? How old were they when they find out? How did they react?

I’m dreading Christmas this year.

PS: A few days later my daughter wanted another clarification.. ‘Are tooth fairies also not for real?”

Linking to ABC Wednesday  a fun challenge for bloggers.

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