Notes from an almost-empty-nester
Hello hello dear friend, it’s been a while since we caught up … and somehow that’s exactly how I start most of my coffee dates. Clearly, I need to have more coffee dates or a new opening line — for now, let’s consider it my signature move.
Continue reading “If we were having coffee together – 14”
What if the taxi gets a flat tyre?
What if I miss the flight?
Did I miss packing anything?
What if my baggage is overweight?
What if I misplace my baggage?
What if I forget the ticket, the id?
What if I am not at the correct terminal?
What happens when I get there?
What if I don’t find a cab?
It’s endless… this list of tiny worries.
Without even being aware of it consciously, they nag at me for days before I set off. That, when I’ve been travelling on my own for over two decades. It makes me irritable and more likely to snap at the kids, not that they aren’t doing enough to drive me up the wall anyway. It wasn’t half as bad when I travelled alone, having responsibility of the twins just makes it worse.
I’ve tried imagining the worse case scenario and that isn’t scary at all yet the anxiety refuses to go.
I’m hoping putting this down here would make me see how irrational it is.
Do you worry when you travel?
This academic year has been exceptionally hard on all of us and I’ve done more than my share of yelling. Now’s the time to make up for all of that. Everything else will wait now – work, freelancing, even blogging to some extent – everything. I intend to be the funnest mama ever this summer – no rules, no yelling.
However, day one of the holidays and I am already wondering if that is even possible. I have a bunch of mums living inside me counselling and debating and struggling to assert themselves. They all have different takes on how I should handle the kids. I wrote earlier about the struggle between Sane Mum and Mushy Mum here. This time round it’s the Fun Mum (the one who believes kids should just have fun) and the Evil Mum (the strict disciplinarian) fighting it out. If you would ever stumble upon them you might hear a conversation such as this one…
Fun Mum: Yay holidays! Disappear now, will you?
Evil Mum: Noooo you don’t mean that.
FM: Of course I mean it. I love my babies, I intend to show them just how much. We’re going to have fun together.
EM (stubbornly): Well, they’re my babies too and I love them, perhaps more than you. You’ll spoil them silly. I’m the one who looks out for them. I’m not leaving.
FM: They deserve to be spoiled once in a while. It’s the holidays for goodness sake. You’ve done your thing. Your time’s up. See you in June.
EM: I thought you’d planned to help them catch up with their studies during summer.
FM: I do remember very well, thank you. And we SHALL do that but in a FUN way. No slogging, no yelling. Leave now, please.
FM: Sure, certain, positive.
EM (Pretending to leave): Well then perhaps I’ll take a holiday. God knows I need it. By the way I do hope you have a plan on how you’ll handle the endless TV watching, the iPad madness, the bickering and the fighting, the refusal to switch off the light at night. I’m sure you have a FUN plan. Goodluck. Ciao.
FM (Flustered): Err umm.. wait on, will you.
EM: Let me see.. Mussourie sounds good this summer or should I head South?
FM: Hey wait, maybe you can hang on at the fringes and show up just once in a while?
EM: What? You requesting me to stay? Sure, certain, positive?
FM (Petulantly): ALL RIGHT I’m sorry. Guess we can’t really do without you. But stay out of sight. I’ll call you when I need you.
EM: Works for me. (Linking hands with FM) We make the perfect couple, you and I.
FM (Agreeing reluctantly): I guess so. They do need us both.
Edited to add: As it turned out the kids fell ill right on day 1. Both EM and FM have retired to some sorry corner to wait out their turn while Mushy Mum and Fussy Mum have taken over completely.
Then H found a new friend, A, with an X Box and a passion for dancing and he got hooked. They’d spend hours together before his XBox copying the moves.
..holidays we had a family get together. With the oldest cousin at 15 years and the twins at 8, they found they had little in common. There were days when we stumbled upon them all sitting together busy with tabs, computers, iPods and the television with zero interaction among themselves.
We were pretty happy because…
If you’re fed up of your children playing mindless games on the PS3 or the XBox try getting them a dance CD. Or simply switch on to Youtube.
What’s more you can join in too, even if you have two left feet. If an uncoordinated 8 year old can do it, well so can you. And if you’re still feeling self-conscious check out their video – No, don’t watch it, just listen to the music and the laughs.
You can check out the original video they are trying to copy.
And so in Goa I turned from a mean mum (In case you’re wondering what a true blue mean mum is go here) to a cool one. But aren’t holidays about breaking rules?
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| Coffee (their first) on the couch with Doremon |
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| Pepsi, Sprite and Iced Tea … to their hearts’ content. Of course they asked to share my mocktails without fail and ended up finishing it, happily abandoning their drinks proving yet again that their soft drink hankering is only because it’s such a ‘no’. |
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| Getting wet in the rain… such a NO on school days! |
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| Maggi for dinner |