And just like that, the twins are through with grade 11. 

It sounds amazing when I hear myself say it – they’ll be 17 this year. Even more unbelievable is the fact that this blog has gone on for as many years. There have been fits and starts and gaps and breaks, okay whole huge chasms sometimes, between posts but I’m glad I keep finding my way back here.

Like I’ve said often, I miss the old blogging days when a bunch of us kept track of each other’s lives through our blogs. We became each other’s friends and support systems without ever having met. My blogger friends, I knew, would always be unstintingly on ‘my side’ and that was such a comfort.

But no, I’m not going to make this into a rant post. The good bit is, a lot of them have remained pals despite the blogosphere having evolved in ways no one had ever imagined.

Next year promises to be a biggie for the children with life-changing career choices and decisions around the bend. The mere thought of filling in multiple forms and making rounds of entrance tests and interviews and getting together Adhar cards and mark sheets sends a chill down my spine. Never have I ever been as grateful for having the husband around for sharing these responsibilities, even at the cost of him scoffing at my needless anxiety.

The thought that one or both of them might be flying the nest never leaves me. I have no idea how much that will affect me. Part of me feels I’ll be fine. I have my books and my editing and writing assignments.

This past year I stepped out more than I ever had, doing things I’d never thought I’d do. I went to a bunch of author meets and have come to enjoy the energy of these in-person events. Manu Pillai, Shranya Bhattacharya, Sudha Menon, Jerry Pinto, Shobhaa De, Sejal Mehta — each of them amazingly articulate, passionate about their subject, maestros of their craft, inspiring in their own different ways.

I did a story-telling session with a group of young ones and enjoyed it thoroughly. I realised how much I missed running the children’s book club I used to. And that prompted me try to begin one in this new complex. I’m hoping I get somewhere with it.

So you see, I have been busy.

That, however, in no way means it’ll be an easy transition without the children. The thing is I don’t really know how hard it will hit me when it does happen. I don’t know how I will adjust to their absence.

Maybe I will enjoy the peace, the freedom of having the entire day to myself, reading, writing, exercising and travelling as I please without being bound by exams and alarms and wake-up calls and the constant requests for ‘something good to eat’?

Perhaps it will be a bit of both.

I won’t know till it happens.

Meanwhile, this space brings me comfort and I’m hoping these connections will see me through this new phase of my life just as they did through the twins’ terrible toddlerhood and tweens.

14 Replies to “Landmarks”

  1. Kids grow up so fast, don’t they? My eldest is now 13. It feels so weird that not so long ago I was dreaming about how good it would be when he was not a baby anymore. Days are long and years short – that’s a parent’s life, isn’t it? It’s good that you are keeping yourself busy, Tulika. But when kids fly off the nest how we feel about it at that time still remains a mystery to me. It’s good though, right? We love them, we miss them. They might also want to show their affection a bit after staying away maybe. My elder one is not hugging or kissing me willingly. (I get my quota by force and threats 🙂 )
    Sorry about the rant. 🙂
    Vinitha recently put up this amazing post…FICTION MONDAY – 142My Profile

    1. Yeah, kids do grow up fast and it’s just as hard for the parents as it is for them. Mercifully my almost 17 year olds are okay with the hugs. It’s their need for privacy that bugs me the most.

  2. They are 17? WOW! You have been an amazing mother and we feel so good to have followed your journey with them through this space.

    Blogging needs to be a constant in our lives and together we can do it.
    Soumya recently put up this amazing post…A Slump Called FebruaryMy Profile

    1. Yeah, they will be 17 in June this year. It’s crazy, right? How time has gone by? It’s been good to have you along this journey.

  3. “We became each other’s friends and support systems without ever having met.” This is the exact same line I used in the post I wrote yesterday about my blogging story! I think, when it comes to blogging, many of us share the same story, isn’t it?
    Okay, wow, so your twins are 17 and nearing the stage when they leave the nest. You seem so torn between looking forward to a new phase yourself and holding on to times when they were still babies and you, the centre of their universe. But I am sure, whatever they decide, they will do their best. It will be interesting to read about that grown-up phase of your little ones and also about the new phase in your life, Tulika.
    Shilpa Gupte recently put up this amazing post…What’s your blogging story?My Profile

  4. Been there, done that…I know what you mean by kinda dreading the empty nest syndrome, but I must add that it’s not as bad as it’s made out to be. I find myself with far more time and energy to follow my creative pursuits. In fact, a whole new world opens up for you.

  5. So good to read about the same questions that I grappled with when the older son flew the nest. I think I wrote a post about the day he left home for studies. You can catch it on the blog. Looking back almost two years later. I have got used to him being away. Yet there is a part of me that misses him immensely. Biggest saving grace is having the younger son at home who is writing his Board exams as we speak. Luckily, he is choosing Commerce after 10th so that’s a relief. I am so happy that there won’t be a mad rush as is there with Science. Hope you can write more. I have written 3 posts on Rachna says this year. It’s a start. Hope to keep writing and connecting with old blog friends.
    Rachna recently put up this amazing post…In the SummertimeMy Profile

    1. Woah! Three posts is great. Although I have been writing, not much of it was on this blog. Most was restricted to my book blog and insta. Which is just not the same thing.

  6. Aww. Lovely to see them both doing well and glad to hear that you are enjoying yourself too! I’m gingerly holding onto daughter even though I know its just a matter of lil more time before she chooses to go off on her journey! Its a tough act and like you say you will only know once it happens. Try to enjoy it while it lasts!!

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