Personal battles and teen hormones #SOL

Personal battles and teen hormones #SOL

N sits on the sofa in front of the television, her plate of food balanced on her knee, the remote in her hand.

‘May I watch TV?’ she asks.

Exams are two weeks away and the children have a Chemistry test the next day – that’s all I can think of as I take in her perfunctory query and her expectant gaze.

It’s hard, but ‘No,’ say I, ‘Eat your food at the dining table then get back to revision.’
Her face sets in a stubborn line and I realise it’s going to be one of ‘those’ days.
‘Why can’t I watch TV till I eat? I can’t study as I eat anyway.’
‘Because we talk while we eat and we catch up with papa,’ say I referring to our nightly Duo chats with the Husband. It’s a bit of a ritual that I’m reluctant to let go.

‘I don’t want to talk’, she replies.

H chips in bringing his best arguments.
‘Only for 15 minutes, till we eat and then we’ll get back, promise,’ he pleads.
‘No’, say I.
‘I won’t eat at the table. I’ll eat on the sofa,’ says N, not willing to give up with at least one small victory.
‘That’s fine by me’, say I picking my battles.

Ten minutes later, I’ve finished dinner. N sits with her plate full, dinner untouched.

I take up my book and walk away to my room.

After a while I hear the twins talking at the dining table as they finish eating.

Then, the door to my room opens slowly.

It’s N.

‘I’m sorry mama’, says she.
‘It’s okay’, I reply.
‘Are you angry’
‘No’
‘Can you smile please?’
I smile at her.
‘I’m sorry’, she reiterates. ‘I’m sorry I was rude and angry. It’s all these teenage hormones you know’.
I have to laugh out at that, at my little wise soon-to-be-teenager.

It’s a battle won – not against the kids, never that, it’s the battle against my temper that I’ve won.

The war is on.

*******

Trying my hand at Slice of Life writing.

22 Replies to “Personal battles and teen hormones #SOL”

    1. Did you just say ‘fondly’? It’s a bit of a struggle and I’ll be glad when the teens are through and I’ll have a set of sweet mature kids. The hormones bit was certainly funny but it doesn’t always end like this.

    1. Thank you thank you. I was quite proud of myself, actually. I”m still not sure it’s the best strategy to walk off but that’s the only way I can stop myself from yelling. Sigh!
      As for those wretched hormones, yeah, one has to learn to manage them.

  1. Did N actually say teenage hormones… Hahahaha that is so cute. Of course no fun for you. But I absolutely loved the way you dealt with the situation. I hope I display the same composure when I am faced with this situation oneday.
    Rajlakshmi recently put up this amazing post…Of Food Robot & Killer Sky!My Profile

    1. Oh yes, she actually said those words. As for the way I handled it – I’m just glad it worked. Somedays it doesn’t when they decide to fight it out. They’ll follow me to my room and argue. Not easy, I tell you.

  2. Tulika, thank you for sharing this little anecdote.
    I love the way you handled the situation. Calmly and patiently, not letting it ruffle you. I realise the more we try to clam things down their throats, or get into an argument, the more they get persistent and stubborn.
    Just because you held on to the calm, she realised her tiny aberration and apologised.
    Thanks, I needed to read this.
    It inspired me, as there are so many moments when we get into war mode. But there are ones like this too, like the ones I handled calmly yesterday.

    Happy week ahead!

    Easier said than done with our hormones also flying all over the place, but the best thing one can do to restore calm and preserve ones sanity.

    1. Absolutely. As kids grow you simply cannot cram anything down their throats – or at least we can save up the cramming for really big issues. Arguments get ugly really fast. I find I cannot keep my patience once I start arguing. So easy to get drawn into it.

  3. Aww, that was so sweet! I think almost always kids are like this, hormones or not. They get agitated when we say no, say things, and later feel bad about it. It’s so nice of N to come and check on you and apologize. ❤️
    Vinitha recently put up this amazing post…Gratitude List – FebruaryMy Profile

    1. Saying No is always hard. When they’re younger it’s the tantrums we dread, then as they grow it’s the arguments – enough to drive one crazy! Yeah she always apologises, that’s just the way she is.

  4. I like it Tulika, but my kids are younger one is Meraj is 8 and zain is 4 year old, i am enjoying my share of parenting. Want to know rules and regulations from you.

    1. Arey Mujeeb, so good to see you here, welcome. Enjoy the children while they’re still young. Specially the four-year-olds are the best – no homework, no padhai – life’s good. Ha ha.. what rules and regulations? All I’ll say is have only a few of them but make sure they are followed.

    1. Thanks Shilpa. Yeah it was amusing this once because talk of hormones sounded a little incongruous coming from her when she isn’t even in her teens yet! And she so needs to get used to it.

  5. Don’t talk about teenage hormones. Here they are at full blast and now that vacations have begun, it’s no picnic. 😉

    That said, I do know what a struggle it is to balance the rules and the relaxation. V says I need to let go some more and Gy pounces on those instances when he says it. Sigh, moms are no fun. At least, I am not. 😛

    And N is EXACTLY like Gy. Does everything and then comes and apologises. Gah!
    Shailaja Vishwanath recently put up this amazing post…10 Summer Vacation Activities your Older Kids Will EnjoyMy Profile

    1. I really don’t know what’s worse – exams or vacations :-). I’m with you on the rules. They should be broken very very rarely, if ever – at least some of them. The thing is once the kids know the rules can be bended they want to do it all the time. But it’s hard even for me as the parent. Somedays I just don’t want to fight and argue.
      Oh and the apologies!! N ends up crying after she’s rude to me!

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