The truth about love and growing up

The truth about love and growing up

A few days ago N came to me one night with a comb and a bunch of rubber bands. She said she’d seen a ‘hack’ on Youtube and that if she tied her hair up in tiny ponytails she’d have curly hair by morning. It was a bit nostalgic for me because I remembered my mom doing the same for me, although my hair used to be way shorter and we didn’t call it a ‘hack’ back then. I sat her down and I rolled her hair into tiny ‘bunlets’ (for want of a better word) and fixed them with rubber bands.

She woke up next morning and opened out her hair. Instead of falling down to her shoulders it stood out in a short wavy mass upto her ears. She pranced around for joy exclaiming ‘Oh I love it, I love it, I love it,’ and ended up with a, ‘It looks so good na, just like yours.’

And I couldn’t help but laugh.

I have to explain here that I have rather weird hair, neither straight nor curly. It’s kind of flyaway thin and wavy, impossible to keep in check. N’s on the other hand is nice and straight. But there she was, thrilled because her hair looked like mine!

This reminded me of a quote from the film The Truth About Cats and Dogs:

You know how someone’s appearance can change the longer you know them? How a really attractive person, if you don’t like them, can become more and more ugly; whereas someone you might not have even have noticed… that you wouldn’t look at more than once, if you love them, can become the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

Although spoken in an entirely different context it does hold true. Doesn’t it?

N’s teens are round the corner and the day is not far when she’ll want to be and do all things ‘not me’, but for now I revelled in her guileless affection.

And then there’s H. For all his grown up ways, his continuous (but failed) attempts at mastering the eye roll and his ‘don’t hug me in public’ he still seeks me out (probably on his way to the refrigerator) and gives me a hug or tweaks my cheek, the way I used to when he was a toddler.

They turned twelve this summer and yet I continue to see them for the babies they once were. I can now somewhat understand the very cliched comment that kids never really grow up for their parents. At times like these I do want them never to grow up, for the days to just stop so I can keep them close.

Of course I know that’s not possible and when this wave of sentimentality has blown over I will want them out of my way just as much as they want me out of their’s but until then, I’m going to savour the feeling.


Linking up with #MondayMusings at Everydaygyan

20 Replies to “The truth about love and growing up”

  1. Aww such a sweet, heartwarming post this one! I feel like every parent in the world goes through this feeling of wanting to lock time to keep the little ones from growing up. But time like they say doesn’t stop for anyone or anything, so all we can do is savor the moment, and sometimes capture it through our lenses. 🙂

  2. Beautiful post, Tulika. I can imagine how you feel seeing the kids grow. These are the golden years of their lives. I hope you enjoy the coming days as much with N and H sharing these precious moments with you while they enter teenage and adolescence.

  3. Just the other day I was yelling at M for not brushing her teeth and then a few moments later, I couldn’t get enough of her. I enjoy my time at work when she is at the daycare but at the same time, I miss her too. Can’t go out on weekends with my sis without missing M like crazy. I guess that’s parenting or being a parent.

  4. I’ve rather had a hard time managing my toddlers. An now that my elder one is five and is becoming less dependent on me for various activities, I already feel the tinge of sadness that my little boy is not all that little anymore and that he is going to be less and less dependent on me from here on. Your post really made me very emotional.

    1. Oh yes Anupriya, it’s an emotional watching them grow up. I remember when they started going to primary school I felt almost as much of a wrench as when they first started play school.

  5. I totally get you, Tulika. Just recently when the older son turned 16, when I was looking through his kiddie albums, I was reminiscing all the silly, childish things that he did. The little chit of a boy who is now so grown up and yet I see the glimpses of that child in him at times and it fills my heart with such joy and emotion that it makes me catch my breath. Parenting is like that. We wait for them to grow up and then we wonder why did they grow up so fast! Loved the post.

  6. I want to go on saying. Awwwwwwww reading this post. I could feel your joy with N being happy to get hair like you. H’s gesture of pulling your cheeks touched my heart. Cherish these days as long as they stay.
    In my case, mera to beta paraya ho gaya abhi se. I told husband my life these days is like the song constantly playing in my mind – Gham-e-dil kis se kahoon koi bhi gham khaar Nahin Hain sabhi gair yahan. I am a melodrama, I was told.

    1. Ha ha ha Anamika. I think it’s a simple case of over-exposure. Go away for a few days and eave him to his dad then see what he has to say. I’m sure he’ll miss you.

  7. Awww that’s just so sweet .First my daughter is 6 and shows me alkl this youtube Diy hacks too, including the one I think your daughter saw. She also find me more beautiful than people on tv and a better cook than everyone .So I too am savouring these days when I am still her favorite. We moms are truly blessed. Excuse ramblings. Such a lovely post.

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