That day I wasn’t feeling well, so my husband went to pick our toddler from the play school. The school was within walking distance – purposefully chosen. It was I who (dropped/) picked our child from the school every day. The teachers had never met my husband.
Although it was his father who was going to fetch our child, I was feeling jittery. How would the teacher’s react? Would they refuse to hand him over to my husband? They would definitely make a call to confirm. I thought.
After a few minutes, my husband got back with our happy child. I was disappointed and displeased. It was irresponsible of them! The next day I broached the question. The answer I received left me dumbfounded.
‘He looked like S’s father,’ the teacher said sheepishly.
I mean, really?
I changed the school.
The recent incident at Ryan International School is scary, heart-wrenching and infuriating! It seems there’s no order and security. A similar case was reported (in a different wing of the same school) last year too.
School is a place where children spend a large part of their day, so it is very important to ensure that they’re in safe and responsible hands. Apart from government initiatives and efforts by schools, we, parents, need to be alert and aware about our child’s safety.
Tight security
It’s important to check if the school has a good level of security system. The current school my son goes to, issues two guardian’s identity cards and it is mandatory to show up with that card at the time of dispersal.
Observe if the security guard questions strangers entering the premises.
Verified Staff
Security guards and ayahs should be skilled, caring and verified. Check if your school gets their police verification done.
Safe transport service
This is a thing I dread the most, sending children to school in the school bus. It is convenient, I know, but parents should keep a few things in mind when using school bus for transportation:
- Trained (and at least one female) attendants on the bus.
- You must have the name and phone number of the driver/conductor
- The driver/attendant must have parent’s record with phone numbers
- You must have the number of the vehicle
Making Your Child Aware
‘He who knows others is wise; who knows himself is enlightened: Lao Tzu’ Click To TweetYour child stays away from your doting arms and anxious eyes for a long time. It is important for him to be independent and aware.
- Make her/him aware of good touch and bad touch
- Encourage him to share. Talk. Ask about his day in school every single day, no matter how busy you are.
- Teach him how to behave; how arrogance and violence are unbecoming.
For Child’s Mental and Emotional Well Being
There are several cases where children experience mental/emotional torture in schools but they hesitate to share it, maybe because of fear or shame, or lack of openness from parents. Keep a watchful eye for any striking changes (they may turn into a recluse or may behave aggressively) in your child’s behavior.
If you notice any sudden change in his behaviour, talk to him/her. Do not hesitate to discuss your concern with your child’s class teacher or even the principal. Notice if they’re friendly and approachable.
Possible causes for mental trauma
- Abusive behaviour of teachers or any other school staff
- Sexual harassment
- Bullying
Communicate with you child
- Never avoid if he says something objectionable about the school/staff/schoolmates.
- In the parent-teacher meeting don’t just talk about your child’s academic improvement. Mention if you have any concern regarding school management.
- Show your interest in your child’s friends. Talk to them when they visit. It’s not just about courtesy. You must know who your child’s friends are.
Tips to make your child comfortable so that he/she doesn’t hesitate to share his/her feelings
- Don’t pester him with your urgency. Give him some time but watch him silently.
- Keep your tone and approach friendly. Being stern would create a distance.
- Share your own childhood stories and tell him how you made some silly mistakes. It will encourage him to open up.
- Agree with his thoughts for now. Make him understand later.
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Have you ever faced issues with security at your child’s school? What did you do? Share with us.
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This is such an informative post. This post very useful to all the new parents. Thank you for sharing such useful post.
Thanks for sharing such an informative article
You are welcome.
Oh my God! I can’t believe that they would hand over the kid to someone who they thought ‘looked like’ the father. Scary! Good you changed the school. Our kids deserve better security arrangements.
Sounds ridiculous, but it happens all the time. The repercussions can be so scary.
loved your tips on how to be friendly and approachable … with the increase in the incidents, we need to ensure measures both internal as well as external are in place…. making sure that the schools and transport systems are following safe practices along with keeping our children aware of safety measures are so important …
Thank you Sabeeka – Tarang made some great points.
good post
My son is 2 and has just started play school. Sleep time when the lights are off we go over our day . It helps calm him down to recount what he did, and this is also when I pick up on small clues ‘ pushing him’ ‘ up up and fall down’ simple phrases but it helps me understand him . I hope to keep the lines of conversation always open with him.
Oh yes. It becomes ever more crucial as they grow – to keep talking to them. Bedtime is such a great talk time, specially when the children are small, isn’t it?
We faced a simialr situation when my husband had to pick my daughter for the first time. The staff clearly instructed that he must have the ID provided else my daughter will not be handed over. I was so happy. it reconfirms my faith in the school i chose, and your list is perfect for all parents who are constantly worried
Sticking to basic procedures is the key to keeping kids safe. The problem is most schools are too lazy to implement them.
I like how you think and pretty much agree with what you said. You questioning back and the school saying he looked like the father, is indeed a very callous attitude.
Schools can be careless. Parents need to make them accountable.
A great post by Tarang. It is really sad and scary at the same time. If a child is not safe at the school, where is he safe? When we hear such incidents, it makes us wonder the security at all such places where our kids go. Its time to take some strict actions.
Yeah struct action is definitely required and struct security measures too.
Yeah strict action is definitely required and strict security measures too.
The occurrences these days are really scary. Though my daughter is going to a nearby playschool, I cannot help but push away such thoughts. It’s becoming challenging whom to trust. I will definitely keep the above points in mind. More than the schools, it’s the responsibility of the parents to take care of their child, to make them aware of the basic and important things around them. Thanks for the post 🙂 Cheers!
Yeah intimately it is the parents who will have to step in to ensure their children are safe.
Those are great tips on doing our part as parents. While the school has a greater responsibility when the kids are with them, as parents we need to make sure we are careful and take steps in the right direction
With the recent happenings, we really need to step up our precautions.
My kids are older but still vulnerable. I spend time talking with them about non school activities. Then they start talking..as parents, we should question the school on everything.
That’s right. Talking to the children is so very important. I keep cautioning mine as well and even though they don’t quite take me seriously I hope it is registering somewhere.
True. We should never hesitate to question the school management. In the present scenario, some psychological pressure (on the school management) is necessary.
I know of a school in my city who have issued GPS enabled cards to parents ad their wards. The parents know instantly when the child has reached the school or taken up the bus while returning from school.
Such initiatives are welcome as far as kid security is concerned.
Thanks for this insightful post.
That’s a great idea. The twins’ school also started something like this, we got an sms when they reached school or boarded the bus but then it stopped. It didn’t work I believe.
It’s a great idea! We should all talk to the schools to enable such initiatives. Security of our children is essential.
Not a parent, but these points are very important at this time, I know. Well articulated. Communication is very essential.
Thanks Leo. No place seems to be safe these days and parents need to be proactive and aware.
It’s very thoughtful of You, Vinay that you understand even though you are not a parent. Thanks for reading.
This has been on my mind like hell for the past few days and has made me feel so restless and anxious. All the tips are pro buddy and I wish and pray each child in this universe stays safe.
It is worrisome – this thought that the children aren’t safe at school.
It’s very disturbing.
Thanks for reading, Roma.
My daughter is 3yo and whenever she comes back from her school, I make sure that I talk to her about her day spent in the school. And she does try to communicate things happened during the day. This communication is very important between a parent and a child. All other points that you have mentioned above are very important and should not be overlooked at any cost.
That’s a great idea Neha. My twins are 11 and I still enjoy the after school chats, though increasingly they are leaving me out and talking only with each other. Even that’s fun to watch.
That’s good, Neha. Communication is really important – to understand the state of mind of our children.
Thanks for reading & sharing.
Very important post in the present times and very well & sensibly written as well. Good points laid out here.
Thank you, Dr. Roshan. Thanks for reading.
Absolute, both sides have to be imparted knowledge, especially the school staff. Also, Stricter controls are required by management of schools.
You’re right. We really need stricter laws and more checks in place.
True. We must do what we can from our side. And, it’s wise to question the management. Thanks for reading, Alok.
M doesn’t even go to school yet but I’m scared already. Who are these people who harm innocent children? Why do they do this?
Some very pertinent and important points here, Tarang.
I’ll come back to this time and again, I know.
It is scary – the things that are happening these days.
It’s so scary, Nabanita that I can’t stop thinking about it! Thanks for reading and sharing.
Thank you so much, Tulika! 🙂
It was a pleasure. This was a much needed piece.