Of friends and friendships

Of friends and friendships

Really, writing a post on friends and friendship is so very hard. Not because one doesn’t have much to say but because everything that one would say has already been said, over and over again, till all that remains is a bunch of tired clichés.

I’ve written about it often enough too. Friends have helped me become less judgemental, more accepting. They’ve helped me try out new things, offered a shoulder to cry on, heard out my rants and made me stick to resolutions.

As you grow older you move on from having a single all-purpose BFF, so to say, to a vast category of friends. As I try to write about some of them I’ll go with those that are top of my mind now.

It’s been a week since I got back from my hometown but I’m still a bit hungover so School Friends are bound to top the list. They are the best kind, aren’t they? I mean how can you not be friends with the girl whose plait got yanked by the teacher along with yours? Quite like Krishna yanked the reins of those horses in the battlefield of  Kurukshetra. School friends have been witness to the ultimate insults heaped upon you and not believed a single one of them. They are the ones who’ve known you from the time you were a plump tween battling the bulge and, if you are lucky, they are still with you as you turn into a middle age woman battling the bulge.

The thing is – to them it doesn’t matter.

They only remember you as the girl whose mum made the most smashing tiffin, the one who made a Bollywood parody out of Macbeth, or the one who could touch her tongue to her nose or one who couldn’t stop laughing even when she was sent out of class.

Those are the things that matter to them and that’s why they are special.

Neighbourhood friends were an integral part of my childhood but then as I grew and got caught up in academics and work I thought I’d didn’t need them at all, where was the time? Life seems to have come a full circle and I cannot imagine what I’d do without them.


Neighbours might not all be the sexy kind but they’re still a blessing

They are the ones who host you the time the door bangs shut just as you step out to put the trash. They also give you the number of the keymaker and assure you, you looked just fine in your frumpy faded nightdress. They take your couriers when you’re not around and even hand over the COD amount.
 They make rangolis at your doorstep and light diyas for you when you’re out for Diwali.
They’re the ones who hear/see your Taraka avatar with the children. They not only keep your secret but also keep loving you despite that.

How did I ever do without them!

And finally my very favourite kind – the Slightly Crazy-so-not-my-type of friends. This one is a bit of a peculiarity because you are pretty much poles apart and yet you connect at some strange level – the level headedness of one balancing the craziness of the other, mixing excitement and caution for a perfect cocktail that keeps you high but holds you back from going over the edge. These are the friends who got me to do things I’d never have done on my own. Things I would have wished I had done but never actually gone out and taken the plunge. But for them I would never have trekked to a fort with zero level of fitness, run a marathon (not a full one, just a baby one but id did get me walking), bought dangerously high heels or joined a Zumba class. What fun all of that turned out to be. I might soon be heading to Spanish class rather than slogging it out on Youtube as I’d originally planned.

Life would drab and dull without these crazy ones.

There, those are the friends I am grateful for today. Which are the friends you cherish most?

Linking up with Amrita for #ThankfulThursdays. Thank you for a fabulous prompt Amrita.



Also linking up with Vidya’s Gratitude Circle Blog Hop. Do click on the link and head on over.

43 Replies to “Of friends and friendships”

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  2. I just happened to discover your blog and truly enjoyed this post. You have a conversational and humorous style of writing, which makes reading easy. And yep! Love those crazy friends. They are the ones that make our lives “happening”.
    Namratha recently put up this amazing post…A Bridge Too FarMy Profile

  3. By now, you must have figured out that I am binge reading your posts to catch up again. I must say though, that while I like to read your posts as they come out, finding 2-3 at a time is also pretty great, it almost feels like a long conversation with you (albeit one sided).

    Coming to this post, I have to confess, I tried to touch the tip of my nose with my tongue, and failed miserably. 😛 Also, as wonderful and appreciated friends are, the neighborhood variety is very underrated, so I was glad they got a section. 🙂
    Shantala recently put up this amazing post…Blogger Version of Existential Crisis #ChattyBlogs – June LinkyMy Profile

    1. It is always good to have you here. I know what you said about a conversation. When i don;t visit one of my regular favourites in some time I kind of start missing them wondering what they would have been up to. Thanks for dropping by.

  4. Friends are like investments. The time we invest in them pays us later. If I observe now, crazy friends are long-lasting ones for me. Its a good and light read post.

  5. I am still very close with my best friend from my school. She is my doctor and we chat so much. But we are very different. Actually, all my friends are way different than me and maybe that’s why we value each other so much 🙂 Always something to learn when we talk. What a great post, Tulika and you made me think of school days.
    Btw – I loved studies too 😉
    And the kebabs and parathas made by friends’ mums used to be just smacking.

  6. You said it Tulika! Har ek friend zaroori hota he! I had a few laughs imagining the gaffes you pulled at school and was reminded of even more stupid ones I committed! And yes, I think school mates are the best too! There is this transient group of friends, that keeps changing as your kids grow along – mommy pals. I haven’t had great success with this group but still they are around if I need any help. Cheers to friendships!
    Kala Ravi recently put up this amazing post…Many Hats, One MasterMy Profile

  7. Hi Tulika. I love all 3 Types of your friends .Especially the last one .Friends who are just my opposite but friends in craziness .Somehow I tend to make and keep these friends the longest .They balance out our madness and sometimes gives us the much needed crazy in our life to do the impossible! You have acertain way with words which some how touches the soul .Thank you for writing with us for #Thankful Thursdays
    Amrita Basu (Misra) recently put up this amazing post…Why you should say no to tobacco:Yes to a healthy lifeMy Profile

  8. Somehow tulika I haven’t been lucky with friends. Except for one girl.. I have completely lost allfriends from school and college days. Just a few who have been associated in the last few years. But surely life would be drab without friends..

    1. That’s sad. But then who knows you might reconnect. Thanks to Facebook I connected with classmates I hand’t met for over two decades. Life wouldn’t certainly be the same without friends.

  9. It’s fun to have slightly crazy and not my type friends. They bring out our best and uniqueness. I think 2 imperfect people will make perfect friends.

  10. My best friend is my school friend and that feels so awesome. When it comes to me, if you are not a little crazy, you cannot be my friend. That’s like an unsaid rule I have 😛
    Soumya recently put up this amazing post…Three, Two, OneMy Profile

  11. Hahaha I so enjoyed reading the part about your neighbors. That’s hilarious and it also shows how non judgemental and accepting people are. School friends always belong to a different level. They remind me of a time that sometimes feel like a dream. Loved this warm and feel good post.
    Rajlakshmi recently put up this amazing post…Camellias & ZentangleMy Profile

    1. Let me first say that I absolutely love your posts on friends Raj. I remember the one where they’d trolled you on Facebook. True about people being non-judgemental. Once they get to know you they almost always learn to look beyond the stereotypes.

  12. So true, friends make our world fresh and lively and colourful, I think they develop our personalities. We should be lucky we have ‘friends’, they make us feel secure, do crazy things, listen to your ramblings. They involve you in life, so there is no full stop. as we grow old, we should make a point to keep in touch with these friends, they are our support system too.
    Stefinia recently put up this amazing post…Leg Tattoo Designs For Women – Beautiful Leg Tattoo Ideas For Modern WomenMy Profile

    1. You’re right – they enhance our personalities in unimaginable ways. that little extra effort to keep them close is well worth it. Thanks for dropping by Stefinia.

  13. I met a college friend over the weekend and we were so animatedly talking to one another that we both forgot to take our phones out or click snaps! That is something in today’s age 😀

    I love my friends, all of them. Well, some of them more than others, but that’s true of most relationships. You’re so right that we have different reasons for different friendships. Trust you to get an SRK gif in there somehow 😉
    Shailaja Vishwanath recently put up this amazing post…10 Simple Tips for Writing Flash Fiction or Micro FictionMy Profile

    1. Well SRK started this whole thing about dosti and pyar. He had to be in it. Jokes aside I know what you mean about school and college friends. I love that there is no pretending with them.

  14. Ahh well I just met up with some neighbourhood friends from childhood a couple of weeks ago, and nothing has changed. We have so much history & we know each other so well that’s it’s a gift to have them in my life. And then there is my one BFF from the first day of school. What can I say about her? Then those crazy women who became my friends when I started working. I have few but certainly some great friends and I’m so thankful for them 🙂

    1. It is interesting how the various categories overlap – neighbourhood friends become childhood friends and school friends too. And the bond only gets stronger.

  15. Heheheh…Taraka avatar! 😀 I still can’t stop chuckling at some of the words you used here, Tulika!
    I must say, you are lucky to have some good neighbourhood friends – I can only wish for such friends! Sigh.
    But, I do have some friends I am grateful for. I have only a handful few friends I can count on. And, I also have a handful few virtual friends I can count on in times of need. So, I am glad I met them, connected with them and got along with them despite the differences. I sometimes wonder what I would do without them!
    Lovely post, as always!
    Shilpa Gupte recently put up this amazing post…Hug more often.My Profile

    1. Well we may have different kinds of friends but we all need some of them. I can’t even get started on virtual friends. Very few people outside that circle even understand how important my blog and blogging are to me.

    1. That’s sad – losing friends because we are just too busy keeping pace with life. But it does happen. I manage to go home for a month each year and that keeps me in touch. We make it a point to meet up at least once and catch up over lunch or coffee.

    1. Trust you to notice just that one! To put the record straight I cannot. I fall short by a fraction of a millimetre. You said ‘too’ which means you can. Wow!

      1. Nope not me. My blog buddy Abhiroop can. But he’s always acting over-cool and trying to pretend that he’s as awesome as me. So I mostly don’t believe him without seeing proof. As it so happens, he CAN actually do this, because he sent me a pic as proof. Sighhhh!
        Kaddu recently put up this amazing post…30 Odd Questions #BlogFestMy Profile

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