Giving the heart its due

Have you ever been in love with two people at the same time? If you have – tell me how do you pick? While the head clearly chooses one, the heart longs for the other. It only becomes worse when in your head you’re a practical Capricorn and think the choice is clear – obviously you follow your head, right? But despite your best intentions you cannot stick it out because your heart is not in it.
Here I am stuck between my two loves – the head says gym, the heart sings out Z.U.M.B.A.

The backstory:

This last year has been a bit of a downer on the health front. Tests revealed desperately depleted Vitamin D levels. The doctor prescribed strengthening exercises that were gentler on the bones. The head quirked an eyebrow at the heart even while nodding in wholehearted agreement. The heart sighed but knew it didn’t stand a chance.
Dutifully I gave up Zumba and took up gym membership. I could do this, I thought, after all these were the first friends of my fitness journey – my first loves. I said hello once again to treadmill and dumbbells.

… and I settled down

…. to the leg presses and bicep curls. ‘Look’, the head told the heart, ‘It’s not so bad, is it?’ The heart bobbed its head, like an employee who doesn’t quite agree yet nods to a rather overbearing boss.
The workout didn’t have the happy zing of Zumba but it offered the comfort of routine and as I began to gather speed on the treadmill and lifted heavier weights for longer counts the sense of achievement kept me going. Just as a a girl gives up the rush of a first crush for the sedate love and care of a married life, I began to settle down to my gym routine.

But it’s never easy

Right across from where i exercise there runs a Zumba class. Each time the door opens a waft of my favourite music floats out. As I watch the girls through the glass walls, twirling and jumping, I mentally go over the familiar well-loved moves along with them and my poor beleaguered heart feels a little squeeze.
In that moment the treadmill seems the drabbest thing on earth no matter that I’m running on it like I’ve never run before.
And I am beginning to feeling like that long-suffering employee who is finally deciding to hand in notice to his boss, like the woman who decides to give up her marriage to rush back into the arms of her first love.
The problem is – there is no overbearing boss, no boring husband – there is just me and my not-so-good knees.
My one hope now is that the vitamin tablets would have worked and the strengthening exercises would have done their bit. And then perhaps I can have a bit of both worlds. On a more serious note, if you have pledged your life to to exercise it pays to listen to your heart.

14 Replies to “Giving the heart its due”

  1. It's wonderful that you are at least doing something. Here's it's nothing and just plans. But I do hope that you get to do what your heart wants and get back all that Vit D real soon!

  2. How lucky are the people who love dancing! I've never ever been able to just let go, never ever danced. I've always fantasized of it everytime I have sung 'I could have danced all night..and still have begged for more' during choir lessons. I don't think I can dance to save my life. Anyway I'd say- Listen to your heart. A Capricorn's(my daddy's one too) brain is smart enough to make it work! 😉

    1. On a more fun note, do check out the awkward yeti's brain vs heart series! It won't really help you solve your dilemma but I guarantee that both your heart and brain will get a few laughs!

  3. Obviously ur getting enough Sun atbthe rt times Tulika. I am a fellow Capricorn but far more ruled by
    My Heart. I can love equally at the one time so yoga goes hand in hand with body pump(wt:s) walks walking writing singing etc. Internal peace n joy as we know is primary and then our bodies absorb nutrients far more readily. Hope u can do both muscle work and zumba and carry ur zumba bliss into the gym too. Hugs.

  4. O Tulika I wish you feel better soon. I have this love-hate relationship with work outs and exercise and I know I should have only love-love r/s but what do I do? I can't do it consistently. Sometimes, I feel when there will be an emergency, then I'm gonna do it, later I think why should wait for an emergency to happen in the first place? It's confusing, right?

    You take girl. Try some natural things. They're really power packs!!

    Cheers
    Geets

  5. I hope you feel better soon. I hate gym though my husband bought an exercising cycle just for me. I generally feel awkard going to the Army gym because the ladies who come there are already fit and slim. Tried zumba for a week sometime back. I should stick to it. 🙁

    1. Shalini just ignore the svelte ones for u have a svelte mind too and am sure they began with more fluffed bodies at one point. I find thatbthe fun element is what helps us to stay on with the exercise we choose….

  6. hehe it happened to me as a teen falling for two girls…lol. Guess, I am going back to Yoga classes after a span of one year. I did went to Gym but left in the midway. But, it's good you flexing the muscles.

  7. I think a lot of us have Vitamin D deficiency. I need to check my levels too. Aww Tulika, I know what you mean. I love badminton and swimming but walking has taken priority now. I know I should make time to swim but I am finding walking so much easier. Sigh. Never mind, fitness matters. Always. The methods all lead to the same path. Hugs.

  8. Oh gosh. I've been having a tough time going to the gym, too. I am able to find a million excuses not to make it but that head.That head sternly tells me to buck up and move it. Sigh. Because if not…. I don't even want to think about it. There used to be a zumba class at our gym, but the instructor left. I am also on Vit D for bone aches. 🙂 Hugs Tulika, May your head and heart shake hands and collectively hug you!

  9. Oh Gym is boring..and becomes monotonous. Only hope for you is to get earplugs and not listen to Zuma music. Take care

  10. Hope you get better. Even I have Vitamin D deficiency , Tulika. I feel exhausted because of that. It has improved with the medicine doc prescribed but it still is low. I hope you get better and can do everything you love.

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