The problem with Kajol’s sari

I finally watched Dilwale. Yes that Rohit Shetty film with SRK and Kajol and the two new bachchas. It’s old news, I know. The whole world has watched it and not quite liked it too, which I might not agree with, but then that’s my own thing. I didn’t mind it except for this one issue – the issue of Kajol’s sari. But first, if you haven’t watched the film you need to know a little bit about it. I promise to keep it to five lines – brace yourself.

So Kajol and SRK belong to two warring mafia families. Point to be noted here is that Kajol is as kickass and as worthy a scion as SRK. The two fall in love. A misunderstanding crops up, Kajol shoots SRK and they go their own ways till their siblings find each other and fall in love too. After some ‘Dobara aaye to jaan le loongi‘ bit’s and a few sadish songs, the misunderstanding is sorted and voila! All is well (Writing this down I can get a vague idea why some people wouldn’t quite have taken to the film).

Whew! That’s exactly five lines. *Pats self on the back*.

Anyway the point I’m trying to make is this – towards the  end of the film SRK’s brother is shot at by a don (yet another one) and Kajol sits there all abla nari cradling his head and yells for SRK, “Kaliiiiii……,” she screams and SRK comes flying out brave and macho and well obviously, he saves the day.

 

Why, tell me, doesn’t she reach for her own gun? She’s as worthy a ‘donness’ or whatever she-dons are called, as he is, right? She steals the sona from him at the beginning of the film, she runs a restaurant and has some mean shots to throw when faced with a kidnapper. She’s brave and smart and wily and strong so why oh why would she scream for SRK instead of going behind the bad guys herself? Wouldn’t instinct drive
her to go for it herself?

And so I thought maybe it was the sari. Maybe it was the sari killed her killer instinct. Or maybe she didn’t want to spoil her look by hiding a gun in that sari. I mean a bump at her hip would
have looked odd, no? Yet, one would have thought she’d have found a way given that she’d been outdone by it once earlier. Remember Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai and that basketball match? She lost to SRK, despite being the better player all because of that five meters of gorgeous georgette. Over a decade later and things haven’t changed. This Senorita doesn’t learn from her
mistakes.

Or maybe… she yelled for SRK because she just liked having him around, in which case it is perfectly understandable. I’d call for him all the time if I had the faintest hope he’d come. The brown
eyes, the intense looks, the crooked smile that dimple to die for and the stubble … ooh the stubble.

Yeah if it’s not the sari it most definitely is SRK’s.

39 Replies to “The problem with Kajol’s sari”

  1. I haven't watched the movie and probably won't after reading the storyline. SRK and Kajol unfortunately don't cut it for me.

  2. I still haven't watched the movie! 😀
    And I think this was the best review I've read.
    I don't like Kajol anymore . Don't like SRK anymore either. .
    But, I will watch the movie if not for anything else but the saree!! Lol

  3. It aired on television? Didn't know that. But, no regrets. Haven't seen this movie and don't intend to watch it either. I don't like SRK (Except in DDLJ and Chak De India).

    I understand this saree thing. It's difficult to manage, isn't it? Plus, in this film Kajol doesn't wear saree of normal length (Maybe 5 mtrs extra flow behind her).

    One thing I noticed in Gerua song that kajol's discomfort due to extreme cold is pretty evident, no? I fail to understand why Indian film-makers think that female actors are immune to cold, even if it's extreme?

  4. I had the misfortune of watching this movie when it aired on Sony a few days ago and this is my rhymed review of it 🙂 I pretty much echo your views just a tad more fervently!

    Last night Dilwale was on Sony
    And I admit I took a quick look,
    Sure, I'd heard it was pure baloney
    But hey, it's Kajol and Shah Rukh!

    So time hops from past to present
    People from one continent to another,
    Everything is a tangle most unpleasant
    Everyone is someone's sister or brother.

    There are romeos and dons with guns blazing
    And mob mammas and whiny girlfriends
    Sometimes they're the same, ain't love amazing?
    And I still don't know how it ends.

    An hour in, my ears were ringing,
    I couldn't take any more of the drivel,
    You can thank my cultured upbringing,
    Or this piece would have been far less civil.

    If you haven't seen it, congrats you win
    Three hours of life to live as you please!
    If you spent money to see it on screen
    Well then, you have my abject sympathies.

  5. ha ha! That was funny. I haven't watched the movie. Yes, there I said it 😛
    But the saree issues, well..what to say. Bollywood movies are super silly, no logic at all.

  6. Okay, here is the thing – I liked Dilwale; did not LOVE it, but I liked it. It is possibly due to the fact that I am yet to completely get over the teenage crush I had over SRK. Yes, that is actually it. Because otherwise it was just another one of those movies. Not as bad as Prem Ratan Dhan Payo, but not great.

    Also, the story was cliched, but can't that be said about majority of Bollywood movies these days? Though honestly – I know that it is just SRK.

    Nonetheless, I had my issues with the movie – the saree, and also the fact that these people (all with Hindu last names) kept praying to Jesus, and going to Church all the time (yes, it was Goa – but still – there are enough other places of worship there), without any mention of temples ever. I might be overthinking this, but I couldn't help feeling that this was another manifestation of the anti-Hinduism sentiment that we see in mainstream Indian media.

    Having said that, I would follow SRK to church/ mosque or anywhere else he decides to go; and yes, I too, would call out for him, if I had the faintest hope he would come. 😉 So, there! 😛

    1. You said it Shantala. When I wrote this piece all my sister had to say was '… and that's ALL you found stupid in the film?' It's full of silly bits and yes that church thing did ring not true. By the time I watched the film it had been panned so badly that I ended up liking it. And yes of course, like you said, there was Shah Rukh.

  7. Funny! I am waiting for that moment when I am sitting in front of the tv, and it is on, and I browse to the appropriate channel where it is about to start, and I have work to do while partially watching it. See? The stars have to align. Eventually I will catch it – probably in parts. Saris! The trouble they cause. I'll never forget watching SRK for the first time in Fauji, that TV serial. 🙂

    1. Ooh yes. That's when it all started. Oh and despite doing this piece I think the problem is with the film makers and not the sari at all.

  8. Hahahah, well, I haven't watched Dilwale, but then if the hero doesn't save the day (irrespective of the badassery of the heroine) then it wouldn't be a Rohit Shetty film (sadly). So yes, sari is probably as good a reason as any! As for KKHH, ugh, I hate that movie, and yes, that sari surely pissed me off. Among other things!

    1. I just wish some of the so-called mainstream films would stick with the characters that they create. Why must femininity be equated to weakness? That is beyond me.

  9. I haven't watched DDLJ nor Dilwale, but what you've pointed is really really important and funny at the same time! I mean, little things have such important meanings, and if not properly portrayed, they can mean something else entirely.

    I must watch this movie though, when I feel the need to laugh too much 😀

  10. Hahah.. That was fun to read.. Sari, the major issue of Kajol in her films and the line that she doesn't learns from her mistakes, is totally brilliant!!!

    Cheers

  11. I have been dying to see this movie… I know, it came last Sunday on TV but we were out at that time. Interesting observations. And now I want to watch it more than ever. SRK is looking so dishy with that stubble… *SIGH*

  12. Yes, the sari is to blame coz the writers were super smart.
    Not barring the fact that I have pretty much done everything in a sari…
    I laud you for your observation and I agree. She just liked having srk around. Who wouldn't?

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