Girls and boys are good for each other

0 Flares Filament.io 0 Flares ×
H is intensely competitive, specially when it comes to N. He likes to think that anything she can do, he can do better. However, at the same time he has quite a dislike for all things he has labelled ‘girly’. So it was with a bit of surprise that I discovered him making loom bands the other day. Apparently his competitiveness won over his dislike for ‘girly’ stuff. 

ENGROSSED!!

Even at 8.5 years he is clumsy as ever and can do with some hand-eye coordination practice, as also with a hobby that involves him keeping quiet and sitting in one place for some amount of time (other than watching the telly). I was one happy mum :-).

Linking to Mel’s # Microblog Mondays . Do drop by to see how others are faring after the weekend.

Also, linking to ABC Wednesday for the letter E for Engrossed.

*********

On a somewhat related note I stumbled across this debate here on the Net about whether boys and girls learn best if they are segregated in single sex classrooms.

Research suggests children perform better in single-sex classrooms. Some maintain that the teaching pattern is skewed in favour of girls since sitting in organised classrooms works well for them while boys are better at hands on learning.

However as a mom to a pair of different sex twins I find myself disagreeing. Of course life would be much simpler with same sex kids, just as it would be easier with single sex children in a classroom. However the education we’re aiming at doesn’t have only to do with scores, is it? Boys and girls are different, that’s a fact. Their brains are wired differently, also a fact. Out of the classroom they have to live, love, compete and socialise with each other. The earlier they learn how to do that, the better.

H and N fight. A lot. Yet they have been teaching and learning from each other with no awareness of it. Without going into whether an ability is a ‘boy skill’ or a ‘girl skill, here’s how..

H might continue to be a Barbie destroyer but he has mastered plaiting their hair albeit shabbily, he knows how to make loom bands and, wonder of wonders, often remembers to put down the toilet seat! He makes an effort at drawing, crafting, singing and dancing again thanks to N.

As for N, she’s as girly as girls come but can throw a mean punch, enjoys computer games and is addicted to the outdoors perhaps even more than H.

Together they’re good!

0 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 Google+ 0 Buffer 0 Pin It Share 0 Filament.io 0 Flares ×

48 thoughts on “Girls and boys are good for each other

  • February 18, 2015 at 7:14 am
    Permalink

    Yes, lots of people seem to swear by same sex classrooms. But really, I don't see it. That kind of segregation, for whatever reason, does't make sense to me.

    Reply
  • February 12, 2015 at 10:29 am
    Permalink

    Haha…ah loom bands. Have a few clients into that. Re the education thing, I am all for co-ed. Apparently though, research has shown lately that boys perform better in single sex schools while girls are fine in both single sex and co-ed schools. Go figure!

    Reply
    • February 13, 2015 at 3:07 am
      Permalink

      Boys are easily distracted, is that what the research is trying to suggest? πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  • February 11, 2015 at 9:56 pm
    Permalink

    Yes I think loom bands have taken over the world, who'd have thought it.

    Reply
    • February 12, 2015 at 3:46 am
      Permalink

      Right, Joy.. they can keep the kids well occupied for ages.

      Reply
  • February 11, 2015 at 4:25 pm
    Permalink

    I have always felt extremely blessed to have one of each. Both approach life so differently. They are both fiercely loyal to each other but being around each other I think has given them an advantageous edge on understanding how the opposite sex ticks.

    Reply
    • February 12, 2015 at 3:45 am
      Permalink

      Yeah I know you're another lucky mum. It's fun to see them grow, isn't it?

      Reply
  • February 11, 2015 at 10:27 am
    Permalink

    Completely agree when you say that girls and boys are wired differently but they need to learn to co-exist in love and harmony as early as possible. A healthy competition is always good and helps to break stereo-types too. Great post, as always, Tulika!

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 2:14 pm
      Permalink

      Right Uma. Keeping the competition healthy is the trick.

      Reply
  • February 11, 2015 at 6:39 am
    Permalink

    I always wished I had a brother — my parents weren't big on sports for girls and maybe I could have benefited a little from learning how to play some sports. And tolerate boys better when they don't sit down and draw quietly. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 2:13 pm
      Permalink

      We didn't have a brother either, mysister and I, but I won't say we missed having one. We weren't into outdoors much too but as a result we turned into voracious readers. Everything has its pros and cons.

      Reply
  • February 11, 2015 at 2:44 am
    Permalink

    Too often, in America, boys are more disruptive, and they get more attention than the girls, to the latter's detriment.

    ROG, ABCW

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 2:12 pm
      Permalink

      That's too bad Roger. If only it were an equal world!

      Reply
  • February 11, 2015 at 12:23 am
    Permalink

    Just noticed the comment above and want to talk about that first: that's a heteronormative ideology that can't get repeated results when the heteronormative lens is removed from the discussion.

    I was originally just going to say that those band bracelets are beloved by all — I think the boys at the school have just as many as the girls.

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 2:11 pm
      Permalink

      You had me running off to google to check that out. Removing that lens isn't easy one bit.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 9:59 pm
    Permalink

    I wonder what your thoughts on this will be when they are mixed in co-ed classes with hormonal teenagers distracting them from their studies … lol Stats show that girls do better in exam results without boys in High School but that boys do better in later ages 15-18 if they have girls in their classes. I wonder if the boys suddenly try to do better to impress the girls or just don't want them to win.

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 2:09 pm
      Permalink

      Now you've got me scared. I hadn't begun to think that far. As for boys trying to impress girls – good for them.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 7:14 pm
    Permalink

    I am a big supporter of letting kids grow as they wish, no gender Stereo typing. I agree that sooner they get to know the world, better it is.

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 2:08 pm
      Permalink

      Whether we like it or not gender stereotyping will happen. Even though I struggle to keep it neutral and normal kids pick up a lot from their peers. Drives me crazy, sometimes.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 4:30 pm
    Permalink

    Loved reading this…I agree with your view on coeducation… it is important for children to understand how the other sex works..

    Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 4:22 pm
    Permalink

    Loved reading this…I agree with your view on coeducation… it is important for children to understand how the other sex works..

    Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 12:26 pm
    Permalink

    Reminds me how my brother won't wear a tshirt if I or my sister wear it … even accidently, for him the tshirt would become girly even though it was his originally. I used to irritate him by wearing all his shirts πŸ˜› I believe it's better to have both sexes in a classroom, as you said, the earlier they learn to interact with opposite sex, the better.

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 2:07 pm
      Permalink

      Ha ha ha.. two sisters and a brother – what fun that would have been.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 12:02 pm
    Permalink

    Your post took me back 20 odd years when my son and daughter were younger πŸ™‚ They are in their early to mid twenties but the sibling rivalry continues, their love for each other has also grown with time.

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 2:07 pm
      Permalink

      So you survived, that gives me hope Sulekha πŸ™‚

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 11:31 am
    Permalink

    Boys and girls learn from each other. Fighting and never getting along is all part of the learning process. It's lovely to see your kids learning from each other, Tulika. πŸ™‚

    Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 9:23 am
    Permalink

    I agree with you, education is much more than just academics. I went to a co-ed school and so did my children. Never regretted that.

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 12:32 pm
      Permalink

      Great Suzy. I went to a convent school and I have to admit that was fun too. Perhaps a coed is more healthy, though.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 8:25 am
    Permalink

    It is interesting to see that creativity has no gender boundaries at your home. In fact, I was amazed to see cookery and needlework as hobby classes in A's school which is an all boys school!

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 12:29 pm
      Permalink

      Wow! needlework too. Great. Time to break convention.

      Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 1:26 pm
      Permalink

      Wow! needlework too. Great. Time to break convention.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 8:22 am
    Permalink

    Wow, the bands seem quite cool. That research seems interesting. Though, I have always preferred co-educational schools so that the girls and boys mingle and can cultivate healthy respect for each other. I think teachers can help boys if they have difficulty in certain areas compared to girls, but I would still prefer both girls and boys learning together.

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 12:12 pm
      Permalink

      Right Rachna. I think classrooms are changing these days to include all kinds of activities for all types of learners.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 7:41 am
    Permalink

    The best thing about an environment where girls and boys can grow up together is the fact that they grow up to be sensitive to each other and in many ways better than if they had been segregated… You know what I mean?

    Thanks for a lovely read Tulika πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 12:10 pm
      Permalink

      Glad you liked it Naba. Yes they do need to grow up together.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 7:27 am
    Permalink

    If the loom band is what I think it is, I never was able to figure it out, so good for your son for attempting to do so and being successful at it! I say it's a win-win situation if you can get boys and girls together, the earlier the better. Eventually they will have to learn to live with each other in society as peers, friends, work colleagues, marriage partners. And sometimes competition can be a good thing IF it helps to improve a person's skills or talents like it does with H. Good for him! And good for N for doing 'boy' stuff too! πŸ˜‰ <3

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 11:57 am
      Permalink

      Ha Elly I can't figure it out either. But ALL kids seem to know how to do it.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 4:26 am
    Permalink

    This is a lovely read. Especially because I can currently relate to the whole loom band craze! Gy is fanatic about it as is my next door kid who is a boy in grade 6. So there is no gender typing there πŸ™‚ Good to see that creativity crosses barriers. As for the separate classrooms, I am with you. I think it is important that kids start seeing themselves as equals in every area and work with their skills and experience not because they are girls or boys.

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 11:56 am
      Permalink

      Yeah.. They have to realise they are different but equal.

      Reply
  • February 10, 2015 at 4:18 am
    Permalink

    I just love your gender sensitive posts Tulika, you bring your experience as a mom into the picture so very well. I also heard recently from D that boys in her class also do try their hands out at loom bands and it was a pleasant surprise :). There will always be some ganging up in groups, but as long as some blurring persists we shall persevere!!

    Reply
    • February 11, 2015 at 11:55 am
      Permalink

      Right Aparna. At least they're not aliens to each other.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge